Nov 05 2010

Tweety Bird & Betty Boop!

Published by at 3:42 am under I Don't Get It

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Nothing says “I have failed” like an adult obsessed with Tweety Bird.

You know what? I just fucking hate everything about Tweety Bird and his bullshit. Is he even a him? So much attitude for a little bird, and SO sarcastic! Tweety and Sylvester are only slightly less horrible than fellow Looney Tunes character and hero to white trash the world over, the Tazmanian Devil, and that’s not saying much. I would love to see that cat nab Tweety with his long claws and slowly bat him around the room the way cats do. I want to see Sylvester get on his side and hold Tweety in his front paws while he bashes the life out of that yellow asshole.

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Whore.

I have seen exactly none Betty Boop cartoons. What is she? Is she a toddler prostitute? A sex doll that was brought to life by the kindly old man who built her? And what’s wrong with her ham-shaped head? She looks like a cross between Eric Stoltz in “Mask” and an Asian sex slave. Wait a minute, I’m starting to see the appeal.

All those old black and white cartoons with the squiggly noodle arms and legs freak me out. They seem evil and racist, even when they aren’t being evil and racist. I feel like Hitler probably dreamt in that style.

    17 comments so far

    17 comments to “Tweety Bird & Betty Boop!”

    1. 8bitheroon 05 Nov 2010 at 5:02 am

      Let me preface this by saying I work in DC and live very near by. This is not an assumption, this is a fact of observation.

      Why are black people apparently obsessed with Scooby Do?

      They have that character on EVERYTHING!

    2. Jim Joneson 05 Nov 2010 at 7:49 am

      I must agree, Betty Boop is a whore! And I’m not just saying that because my cheating ass ex-wife has a hair cut very similar to hers!

    3. Jeffon 05 Nov 2010 at 9:09 am

      Ah back to the funny, though don’t get your last paragraph. A bit white guilt, overly PC.

    4. Jonathanon 05 Nov 2010 at 9:23 am

      As I’m sure you’re aware, these two characters are a frequent sight on PeopleofWalmart.com, usually on the pajamas of some abject failure.

    5. utter_scoundrelon 05 Nov 2010 at 11:38 am

      Foghorn Leghorn is still cool, right?

    6. saraon 05 Nov 2010 at 12:09 pm

      Foghorn Leghorn smacks kids around in his cartoons. He has alwasy been cool.

      I hate sassy cartoons, Tinkerbell sucks glittery balls to. I feel very sorry for the men who have to share their girls car and it has “eat my fairy dust!” decals on it.

    7. You Just Made My List!on 05 Nov 2010 at 2:53 pm

      Jeff – I’m confused, what’s PC? Oh, the racism part? No, I was trying to say that they seem racist because everything creepy from that time period seems racist. In my mind, it’s a punchline.

      Utter – Foghorn is pretty decent.

    8. Yours Trulyon 05 Nov 2010 at 4:40 pm

      When I watched those cartoons as a kid I was always hoping that just once Sylvester would catch that asshole Tweety, or the Coyote would catch the damn roadrunner, or that wabbit hunting season would be open and Bugs would get what he deserves. I enjoy rooting for the underdog I guess.

    9. Fartfaceon 05 Nov 2010 at 5:22 pm

      Yours Truly-I have always felt the same way. I literally dreamt of Tom catching Jerry as a kid. It’s also back when I didn’t understand the way cartoons work. I thought that he’d finally catch him, eat him, and the cartoon would end forever. I wonder if that’s why cartoon porn is so popular.

    10. rachelon 05 Nov 2010 at 8:58 pm

      basically you are saying you hate characters that appear on mudflaps.

    11. You Just Made My List!on 05 Nov 2010 at 9:25 pm

      Rachel – Yes, with the exception of the classic “mud flap cutie.”

    12. Melissaon 07 Nov 2010 at 7:36 pm

      I think it’s safe to say that ANY cartoon on an article of clothing is awful. My least favorite is the 45 year old woman with a Disney sweatshirt she had her name embroidered on. Yes, the same woman that collects figurines!

    13. You Just Made My List!on 07 Nov 2010 at 7:40 pm

      Melissa – I think this theory holds water.

    14. UltimateChaseon 14 Nov 2010 at 7:20 pm

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIxHfwhckcs

      There is NOTHING evil or racist about Betty Boop. (Fun starts around three minutes in with “the colorful three.”)

    15. Jackieon 02 Dec 2010 at 8:29 am

      Boo Boo Be do Boop!

    16. Jeff Boopon 12 Sep 2011 at 1:30 am

      Betty Boop was the creation of Fleischer Studios in 1930. Apparently, the young soldiers loved her sensual nature and appearance (A sultry, mid twenty-year-old female) but the youth appreciated her carefree nature. Unfortunately the strick censorship of the mid 30s limited her sex appeal and she soon became a more moralistic young woman.
      She was modeled after Helen Kane, a popular singer of the ’20s and famous for her “Boop-oop-pa-doop” trade mark. Betty’s voice was performed, mostly, by Mae Questel.
      The last of the original cartoon series was released in 1939 however she had two television specials in the 1980s. I also know she was popular with the Japanese youth of the late ’80s. Why, I even painted her picture on the back of my skiboat! -only her portrait- and all around the lake my boat was known as “The Betty”.

    17. Jeff Boopon 12 Sep 2011 at 1:40 am

      Oh! I post all of this (above) so other’s don’t misunderstand adorable Betty. Afterall… We’re related!