Nov 05 2010
Nothing says “I have failed” like an adult obsessed with Tweety Bird.
You know what? I just fucking hate everything about Tweety Bird and his bullshit. Is he even a him? So much attitude for a little bird, and SO sarcastic! Tweety and Sylvester are only slightly less horrible than fellow Looney Tunes character and hero to white trash the world over, the Tazmanian Devil, and that’s not saying much. I would love to see that cat nab Tweety with his long claws and slowly bat him around the room the way cats do. I want to see Sylvester get on his side and hold Tweety in his front paws while he bashes the life out of that yellow asshole.
I have seen exactly none Betty Boop cartoons. What is she? Is she a toddler prostitute? A sex doll that was brought to life by the kindly old man who built her? And what’s wrong with her ham-shaped head? She looks like a cross between Eric Stoltz in “Mask” and an Asian sex slave. Wait a minute, I’m starting to see the appeal.
All those old black and white cartoons with the squiggly noodle arms and legs freak me out. They seem evil and racist, even when they aren’t being evil and racist. I feel like Hitler probably dreamt in that style.