Dec 22 2010

Blame Santa Claus and the Germans, not me!

Published by at 3:21 am under Awesome!,Sucky TV

I continue to fail you on a daily basis. The fucking holidays and a German trade show are killing me. So in place of my usual impeccable opinions I will simply recycle something I just saw on another site. I’m not even original. Are you starting to understand why blogs suck yet?

I loved ALF when it originally aired. It had to be one of the most fucked up shows ever green-lighted for television. Anyway, here’s seven minutes of ALF outtakes featuring a foul-mouthed puppet doing cocaine and using the N-word while pretending to have Tourette syndrome. And you thought it wasn’t a good show.

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15 comments so far

15 comments to “Blame Santa Claus and the Germans, not me!”

  1. Pigdoreon 22 Dec 2010 at 5:33 am

    I freakin LOVE that show.

  2. JBon 22 Dec 2010 at 8:06 am

    Que Pena! I remember watching deleted scenes on a family guy DVD (one of the early seasons) and they had an entire sequence of AFL outtakes that were like that; I guess that was what they were lampooning.

  3. Paul from Saint Paulon 22 Dec 2010 at 9:03 am

    These clips somehow make me hate ALF more, which I wasn’t sure was possible. The tapes still don’t match what the ALF dad was up to in real life, which is also documented on tape somewhere. Please note the description: “crack-fueled gay homeless sex romp.”

  4. kenon 22 Dec 2010 at 10:21 am

    ALF was way ahead of its time. A great show. If you haven’t seen Permanent Midnight (Nick Stahl wrote for ALF and the movie is about him) do so.

  5. Jackieon 22 Dec 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Ugh! Look at the sweater they put on that poor actress. Even the wardrobe people must’ve been whacked on crack.

  6. Piggdooron 22 Dec 2010 at 6:13 pm

    I like crack

  7. saraon 23 Dec 2010 at 8:26 am

    Jeez I’m forced to remember what my ex did with an Alf Puppet TWICE in one month.

    I love that the puppet/puppetier stay in character when the cameras are off, I’ve noticed this in muppet outtakes as well. We were watching Emit The Otters Jug Band and there were outtakes where Jim Henson tried to roll a little drum out a door just right, they did over 200 takes at one point Ma Otter (Frank Oz) is screaming “YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!!” at the drum

  8. daleon 23 Dec 2010 at 1:37 pm

    It’s just your blog that sucks.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 23 Dec 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Dale – While I can’t argue with how much I suck, because clearly I do, I still find it odd that you would keep coming back to this site and torturing yourself if you hate it so much. That’s weird, no?

    I also, I hate you and hope your house burns to the ground on Christmas morning. It would be nice if you had an attached garage so your cars could be destroyed as well. I can’t decide if I want all of this to happen before or after you open your gifts. On one hand it might be nice to see your gifts (and house) destroyed before you even get to enjoy them, but on the other hand it would be great if you and your family knew exactly what was being destroyed. It would be fun to watch you crying out on the sidewalk because you knew the box of denim shorts your mom got you at Kohl’s is being burned to a crisp.

    Merry Christmas!

  10. Jackieon 23 Dec 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Listy, you sure know how to write a Christmas card. Seasons Greetings!

  11. Piggdooron 25 Dec 2010 at 1:01 am

    Listy, it would be much better if dale’s family never got to open the gifts. the mystery of what’s inside is always more tantalizing than what’s actually in there.
    And how bout this? As the fire is finishing the house Dale looks inside the cab of the firetruck and catches MRS. douchebag getting banged in the pooper by the very same fireman that just scolded him like a child in front of his nieghbors fore careless smokeing.
    In thier 12 yrs of marriage she would NEVER give up that glory hole to HIM. he hardley ever got in the FRONT door. merry xmass
    Listy did you miss me even a LITTLE bit?

  12. You Just Made My List!on 25 Dec 2010 at 10:31 am

    Pig – Thanks for the happy ending to my fantasy. Did I miss you? Well, you are welcome to comment as long as you stay away from bashing other people (other than Dale). Deal?

  13. Piggdooron 25 Dec 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Cool Big Daddy. Hows about letting me lose the extra G? It bugs me..kinda like a scratch in the paint, you digg?

  14. You Just Made My List!on 26 Dec 2010 at 11:05 am

    Pig – You should be able to use any name you want, just don’t start acting like a dick again.

  15. Piggdooron 26 Dec 2010 at 12:13 pm

    A dick ?…I think you’re confusing me with another piggdoor.
    Nope no dice on the single G.