Jan 05 2011

Taco Bell’s Beefy Crunch Burrito!

Published by at 3:42 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

Taco Bell Beefoy Cruch Burrito with Flamin Hot Fritos

All I can do is stare at the screen and wonder what the hell I could possibly say about this.

I honestly think we may have peaked as a civilization. Maybe it’s because I watched an episode of “Wife Swap” for the first time tonight or maybe it’s simply because Taco Bell is jamming Flamin Hot Fritos into burritos, but I’m starting to feel like the human race has reached the top of the roller coaster and it’s time to all put our hands in the air and enjoy the rapid decent into hell.

Can we be trusted with the enormous task of keeping society running smoothly when Fritos are being shoved up the ass of an already heinous “burrito?” I’m not even against the practice of putting chips on things, in fact I like a good PB&J filled with pretzels, but this activity should be reserved for the end user. There is just something so grim about buying a food product already stuffed with Fritos. It’s unfortunate.

Oh, but there is some good news though. The Beefy Crunch Burrito comes with “reduced fat sour cream.” Why bother?

    13 comments so far

    13 comments to “Taco Bell’s Beefy Crunch Burrito!”

    1. calebon 05 Jan 2011 at 9:04 am

      i honestly think that Americans have become fixated solely on three things when it comes to fats food. i mean fast food.

      1. it has to be crunchy

      2. it has to have as much “cheese” on it as possible, in as many forms as possible.

      3. it has to be hot (as in spicy). we can no longer distinguish any other flavors other than spicy, not spicy, and “cheese”.

      Taco Smell is gross. Taco Johns is only marginally better, but they are obsessed with putting tater tots in EVERYTHING.

    2. saraon 05 Jan 2011 at 9:36 am

      Caleb you could work in fast food marketing?
      I noticed “cheese” must be in quotations so as not to legally be actualy cheese. This way the food can also be of the “cheeZe” variety

    3. Rebeccaon 05 Jan 2011 at 9:41 am

      I like how sara’s first statement is framed like a question. Sara, are you Canadian?

      By the way, I had to look at that picture long and hard before I identified orangey oblong things as rice. At first I thought they were Cheetos. Or maybe not Cheetos exactly but some kind of corn-puff crunchy snack.

    4. JulieJulieJulieon 05 Jan 2011 at 10:00 am

      Listy, at first I thought this was an image you lifted from an SNL spot (a la “Taco Town”):

      http://www.hulu.com/watch/1447/saturday-night-live-taco-town

      but maybe Taco Bell was instead INSPIRED by this faux commercial to put more crap-in-a-taco-that-doesn’t-belong.

      Can you even get a “regular”, non-tricked up taco at Taco Bell any more?

    5. utter_scoundrelon 05 Jan 2011 at 10:49 am

      And it was written that the first seal will be broken when there are red-colored fritos in my burrito.

      The second seal was broken, The next creature unleashed. Snooki has “written” a book.

    6. Melissaon 05 Jan 2011 at 10:50 am

      I love Taco Town. Taco Bell now just has to wrap it up in a blueberry pancake, deep fry it, and serve it in a bag filled with vegetarian chili.

    7. Diss Contenton 05 Jan 2011 at 11:03 am

      Taco Bell has exactly five ingredients supporting an amazing menu with dozens of items. Beef, beans, cheese, lettuce in a tortilla shell is a taco. Beef, beans, cheese, lettuce rolled in a tortilla is a burrito. Beef, beans, cheese, lettuce on top of a tortilla is a tostada. Beef, beans, cheese, lettuce in a tortilla bowl is a taco salad.

      So many choices and I simply can’t decide (yes, I’m always the person in front of you). Add to this, the family of sauces (regular, bland, tepid and red colored water) and you may be pondering the menu for the entire lunch hour.

      Still I was asking myself the same thing. Is there a way the world’s best Mexican cuisine could become even more authentic? Fritos in burritos, of course, of course. The ‘Frito Bandito’ is a natural partner of America’s favorite corn chips (code for tortilla) infused into a 79 cent finished food product.

    8. JBon 05 Jan 2011 at 11:24 am

      A little fun fact: Taco Bell and FritoLay are part of the same company (Pepsico), which also owns KFC, Pizza Hut, and pretty much all the fried junk food snacks (Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, Lays, etc.) With that in mind, if this goes over well, one can only imagine what to expect from their ‘restaurants’ in the future.

    9. Amanda Cateon 06 Jan 2011 at 1:24 am

      I take my PB&Js with plain potato chips. I get made fun of for it but I have no regrets!

    10. mikeon 06 Jan 2011 at 7:03 pm

      I saw the ads for the fritto burrito the day before your rant Listman, and I thought the same thing, “how low will taco bell go?” Yesterday I read your post and completely agreed. Then about 8 hours later my wife wanted to eat at Taco Bell. And I just had to try it, (w/o sour cream, I don’t like sour cream). It taste just like you think it would, Burrito stuffed with flamin’ hot fritos. Mind you I have only eaten at taco bell 2 times in the past year.

      4 hours later on the way home from the bar after a few IPAs with some friends, my buddy says, “mind if we stop at Taco Bell?” What are the odds?! I had to just order it.

      I can’t believe this Listy. I think I maybe in love. I’m sorry.

    11. You Just Made My List!on 06 Jan 2011 at 7:48 pm

      Mike – I forgive you but you may want to see your doctor tomorrow, I’m pretty sure you are rotting from the inside.

    12. Jonathanon 07 Jan 2011 at 9:54 am

      http://www.theonion.com/articles/taco-bells-five-ingredients-combined-in-totally-ne,3781/

    13. Spicypupon 07 Jan 2011 at 10:08 pm

      While the burrito itself may be completely horrifying I am actually more disturbed by the Es being replaced with backwards 3s.
      I call out to all my graphic designer colleagues, “stop the madness!”
      Cringe.