Sep 24 2008

Rachael Ray and her giant mouth!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It,Sucky TV,Why?!?


Please rip my ears off and put expanding insulating foam in my bleeding ear holes! Why is it that the more annoying a person is the more likely they will be hugely popular? Especially when it comes to the Food Network. It’s a parade of loud mouth jerks on that channel.

Rachel Ray is so painfully boring I can barely find the strength to write about how much better I am than her. Are white, suburban women really so bored with life that all it takes is a slightly less-bland version of themselves to make them lose their minds with excitement? I think I’m a little jealous of these people. I walk around all day wanting to fling poop in everyone’s face but these women drop their panties with excitement anytime Rachael Ray says “EVOO.” I want their blind happiness. I want to find “EVOO” charming rather than something that causes me to black out from rage. Save me Rachael Ray!

I will now show you something that should shake you to your very soul. It should make you question everything. You might want to drink 7 beers before looking at this photo.

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19 comments so far

19 comments to “Rachael Ray and her giant mouth!”

  1. guilty noodleson 24 Sep 2008 at 7:35 am

    I kept waiting for you to do a post on her. In the beginning of her “30 minute meals” career, I tried one of her recipes and it was the most disgusting thing I’d ever made in addition to it taking more than 30 minutes. I’ve hated her since.

    That second picture made me take an extra sedative.

  2. RBoneon 24 Sep 2008 at 10:47 am

    Didn’t her husband get hookers who would whack him off with their feet because her vagina was so much more disgusting than a filthy hookers gnarled toes? Or something?

  3. You Just Made My List!on 24 Sep 2008 at 10:56 am

    RBone, I have never wanted something to be more true than your tale of hooker feet. Please let it be true! I think she is getting or is already divorced so maybe.

  4. LLGon 24 Sep 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Oh. My. Good. Lord. In. The. Heavens. Above. I’m going to climb on the Ray-Bandwagon. I mean. My boring, slightly middle-class existence would surely feel far less horrid if I had my very own Rachel Tattoo. I can see the light. And I looked at that sans beer or sedatives. You can go ahead and pity me now.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 24 Sep 2008 at 4:03 pm

    I have a Paula Dean tattoo on my butt.

  6. deathon 24 Sep 2008 at 5:11 pm

    I’ve always wanted to know what kind of drugs they hand to these women before shows like Oprah etc, or where these women find the hysterical excitement that they seem so over come with. I’ve never in my whole life felt the need to scream like a dying pig when someone talked on stage to me about food.

  7. Pieon 25 Sep 2008 at 5:48 pm

    I hate Rachael with a bloody passion. You know who’s also just awful? Sandra Dee. Look at this fucking mess:


  8. Pieon 25 Sep 2008 at 5:49 pm

    Dee, Lee, whatever. She blows.

  9. Bill Con 11 Dec 2008 at 8:48 pm

    Sandra Lee isn’t so bad compared with that fly trap, Rachel Ray. Lee is at least a lady, where as, Ray reminds me of some old guy stuffing his face with hotdogs down at the ballpark. who you can’t shutup. And, who here wants to throw a mean hook right into Bobby Flay’s face. God, he’s a dick. Big-head Giardia, or whatever her name is, was such a bitch to some of the contestents on their “reality” show, that now she’s made my own personal shit list. Ok, so I don’t sound like to big a curmudgeon, I do like the Neely’s and Tyler Florence and Lagasse makes awesome dishes. Wait, what’s with that fat tub of goo, Paula Deen? And Alton? Geez, don’t get me Really started.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 12 Dec 2008 at 9:25 am

    I know, the Food Network is FILLED with douchebags. The worst part is that give each of these assholes about 10 shows each so there is no variety, it’s just the same annoying jerks over and over.

  11. Mike Hon 26 Dec 2008 at 3:36 pm

    Screeching, strident, blithering, grating megaphone Rachel Ray needs to feature a 30-minute braised tongue casserole on her show…preferably using her own. Probably make enough to feed a dozen hungry truckers…

    EVOO=extreme volume obnoxious oratory.

    Thank God for my remote…

    And, as a small aside, should a single, solitary thought of any value ever lift itself from that moldering compost pile she calls a brain, please be sure to let me know so I too can celebrate such a celestial event.

    “Silence is golden, golden…”

  12. Had enoughon 25 Jan 2009 at 4:52 am

    One of the things I can’t stand about RR (oh my list goes on and on) is her hideous dressing/accessories. I don’t think she has any clue what to wear so she copies someone she saw on the street the day before!

  13. Jenon 19 Feb 2009 at 9:22 pm

    I can’t stand that she wears long-sleeved shirts when she cooks, and doesn’t push up her sleeves! She also wears a watch and a ring, which means that all the ground beef and stuff she makes gets in them. And have you seen her wash her hands? It can hardly be called washing when she only puts them under the faucet for three seconds. Food-born illness!

  14. Nomoreon 01 Oct 2009 at 12:29 pm

    She is such a boring cunt! As for that fat lump of shit with the tattoo well… shamu comes to mind. Imagine when she gets so fat from eating Rays food the tattoo will swell!

  15. Goonon 20 Apr 2011 at 8:52 pm

    She is sooo annoying. And why does it seem like every episode she is making burgers? It seems like she’s always rushing to get her meal done that she always has food flying and she HAS to carry everything at once to the table. Like can’t she have a normal cooking show? Just admit you can’t get it done in that short amount of time. Her Catch phrases makes me feel like I’m in a preschool class. And she thinks that her show needs an annoying introduction and the same phrase at each commercial break and at the end of her show. She’s always yelling at camera and god did she gain weight from $40 a day! And another thing EVERY time she uses whole wheat past she HAS to explain that it’s full of protein and fiber and it’s better than white pasta. Ugh she needs to get off of food network.

  16. paulineon 20 Sep 2011 at 11:26 am

    after reading all the comments I feel so much better as I thought I was the only one who couldn’t stand her, I really liked her when all she did was cook. (yes I watch for some of the guests are worth it) but I cannot stand her I record and fast forward, I was watchibg bill clinton, she had her fat legs crossed and you could see almost everything, ugh!!!!!!!!
    I am watching regis and his wife brown nose her right now, saying they were intimidated when they had her over for dinner and were scared of her reaction, well I have news for them, all she can cook is pasta, burgers and chicken, hello! what the hell is wrong with people they make such a fuss and make me sick, they took emeril’s show off and he is a real chef, help us all.

  17. Laura Frenchon 14 Dec 2011 at 11:32 am

    I just had to find some other souls who felt the same way. She shouts on her show and interrupts her guests constantly. She keeps saying, ” I know… right?” She squeals like a little pig and can’t shut up. She also needs an image consultant to help her. The boots she wears do not flatter her legs at all and they try to give her a cleavage that looks horrid by squeezing her little boobies together and it gives a completely bizarre look.
    I hate hearing EVOO and sammies, and yummo. Why is she everywhere?

  18. You Just Made My List!on 14 Dec 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Laura – Sadly she is everywhere because a majority of the mindless dolts in this country CRAVE mediocrity. They can’t get enough “in your face” personalities with nothing to offer mankind. As long as it’s loud, vapid and utterly useless it’s going to be hugely popular. We are a nation of dumbshits and, although I actually love this country, we really do deserve everything we get (don’t get) because we choose to pay attention to the loud shiny object rather than the giant bear that’s about to eat our fucking face off.

  19. Brianon 20 Dec 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Rachel Ray is a no talent hack who had to have blown everyone on the food network to get where she is. I can’t imagine fucking her as you may want to put a bag over her head (plastic) and strap on a 2 x 4 to not fall in. Or as Rodney Dangerfield put it “During sex I slap her on the thigh and ride in on the wave.”