Mar 02 2011

Chevy Cruze and its talking Facebook feature!

Published by at 11:39 pm under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

chevy cruze reading facebook commercial

Finally Chevy has figured out a way for you to NEVER escape the incessant, meaningless blathering barfed out by all of your “friends” on Facebook. You never said more than two words to these people when you sat next to them in algebra 20 years ago, but thanks to the magic of Facebook, you now have an up-to-the-minute update of every dumb thing their fat kids do and say.

Well, guess what? Your once peaceful drive home from the adult book store is now going to be filled with wacky anecdotes about microwaved Legos and pancakes found under rugs. Good luck getting a boner after that.

I invite you all to take a look at your Facebook “news feed” right now and imagine what it would sound like to have it read to you by your car. For example, if I was driving right now I would learn that “After shopping all afternoon with my kids, it’s safe to say I am NOT a ‘shop till you drop’ kind of person!!! LOL!

Way to go society!

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16 comments so far

16 comments to “Chevy Cruze and its talking Facebook feature!”

  1. Lawrenceon 03 Mar 2011 at 10:04 am

    Now that’s just dumb. He couldn’t wait to go home to see that message?

    And I think that the term “Facebook News” is an oxymoron.

    With more moron than oxy.

  2. Jayon 03 Mar 2011 at 12:17 pm

    I want a car that runs on Facebook, there’s got to be some scientific way to turn status updates into clean energy.

  3. saraon 03 Mar 2011 at 1:20 pm

    Jay I’m pretty sure scientist have been working on a way to turn pure shit into energy for some time now

    I have yet to yield to facebook, last weekend a friend found out her boyfriend killed himself via facebook( not meaning he killed himself WITH facebook although this could be possible the jury is still out)
    His sister simply updated the guy’s page and noted that her brother was now dead

  4. LG Chickon 03 Mar 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Sara-
    I am so with you. I won’t yield to Facebook or twitter. This one blog is my only form of insincere chatter. I can’t get over that someone would post that their brother died on their Facebook page. That is really disturbing.
    On a different note, the only thing Facebook and twitter are good for is aiding assholes to commit crimes. People are stupid enough to post that they are going out of town, and then thieves rob them blind, taking advantage of the idiots who post their every move. If you are dumb enough to do that, then you should be robbed. Why are people interested in what you just ate, what you are wearing, or whatever the hell is beyond me. I am not interested in most of that crap during a face to face conversation, let alone reading about it online.

  5. LG Chickon 03 Mar 2011 at 6:25 pm

    By the way, Listy, how is it that you are so fucking funny? I mean, you are so clever, it seems like you have a team of comedy writers helping you, and you’re doing it all yourself, and I am in awe. I’m totally worthy of your banter, but I just had to compliment you on it.

  6. Hughon 04 Mar 2011 at 12:09 pm

    Thank you, Listy! When I first saw this commercial during the Super Bowl™, with its ‘best first date ever’ read aloud by the car, I thought exactly the same thing. I would like to know who at Chevy, during the design process thought, ‘ You know what would really sell this ugly-ass car to the highly-coveted 19-35 year-old demographic? Integration with Facebook!’ Then I would like to see that person punched in the groin.

    Then, I started thinking about that computer voice reading the status updates. For instance, how convenient in the case of this ad that it’s a fembot voice. Imagine if it sounded like Stephen Hawking? Wouldn’t that be great, having that voice blathering pointless, self-absorbed drivel at you during every trip? In the end, I think the only way it would be tolerable is if it they used the voice of KITT from Knight Rider.

    Anyway, thanks again for brightening my day, Listy. Have a great weekend!

  7. LG Chickon 04 Mar 2011 at 2:03 pm

    I just heard on the news that studies have shown that 20% of all divorces are now as a result of Facebook involvement. I know people have to be responsible for their own actions, but Facebook is a breeding ground for freaky hookups.

  8. Lawrenceon 05 Mar 2011 at 3:35 pm

    What’s really pathetic in this commercial is that not only does this jackhole have to check his Facebook status in his car because he can’t wait to get home, but also that this chick goes in her apartment and immediately has to post about her date.

    She didn’t take a shit, make a vodka and Snapple, or any of the things I do after a first date.

    No, she ran in and hopped on Facebook. Her and the tool in the car deserve eachother.

  9. LG Chickon 05 Mar 2011 at 5:59 pm

    LOL! Lawrence! LOL! Do you really do that after a first date?

  10. Lawrenceon 05 Mar 2011 at 7:43 pm

    It depends on how close the next meeting with my probation officer is.

    He’s such a stickler for the law.

  11. LG Chickon 05 Mar 2011 at 11:49 pm

    OMG Lawrence, you’re killing me! I love it, but your probation officer might not like that… we’d better not tell.

  12. Seanon 06 Mar 2011 at 7:31 pm

    Love the website, Listy! Might I suggest a topic to talk about – flash mobs. Is there anyone in the universe that thinks these are legitimately cool? I’ve never seen one of in real life, but if I did, I’d probably be embarrassed for everyone involved. No one cares about your fucking musical number in a supermarket – people are probably annoyed that you are in their way when they’re buying fruit. Dickheads.

    The only real flash mob I can get behind are the ones in Japan where a ton of people run at a solitary person in the street and scare the shit out of them. THAT’S how you do it.

  13. LG Chickon 06 Mar 2011 at 10:02 pm

    Sean – What the hell are you talking about? Listy, what the hell is talking about?

  14. You Just Made My List!on 06 Mar 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Sean – I too despise flash mobs.

    LG – Google it.

  15. LG Chickon 07 Mar 2011 at 12:24 am

    Ok, I googled. It’s kinda not fair that Sean has hijacked the subject onto this tangent, but I did my research. I can’t decide if I am more freaked out by the Bollywood dancers in Times Square, and how “passers by” just happen to walk by and suddenly join in ( of course that’s not planned!) or the kids in the Ohio mall (who were all rejected at the Glee tryouts) that suddenly broke into a Journey song and dance routine, or the really bizarre pregnant women that broke out into some freaky break dancing in London. Talk about jumping the shark…..

  16. Seanon 07 Mar 2011 at 10:34 am

    Sorry for hijacking everyone, although I feel validated someone on the internet agrees with me. Success!