Oct 15 2008

Fake Tits!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

OK, get it out of your system… call me gay, blah blah blah. OK, feel better now?

There are exactly 2 fake boobs that I like and they reside on Brooke Burke (NSFW – Nudity). Why do I forgive Brooke Burke and her plastic boobs? Because they kind of look real and I just do!

It’s weird to me that there is an entire generation of males who probably don’t know what a real tit looks like thanks to all the perfect round orbs all over the internet. Maybe – MAYBE – these silly things look good in clothes but once they are released into the wild it looks like these girls have Tupperwear glued to their chests. It’s hard to look boobs in the eye when you got one nipple looking over here and another pointing down at the floor. Makes you want to snap your fingers and say, “Hey, over here, pay attention please.”

OK, let’s assume you like the way they look in clothes and you don’t mind the scars and attention deficit nipples, at the very least you have to hate the way they feel. The best part of boob honking is the inherent soft, squishy nature of a real breast. A fake breast on the other hand can actually injure your hand, I have seen it happen!

Stop ruining your boobies girls!

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25 comments so far

25 comments to “Fake Tits!”

  1. Navisionon 15 Oct 2008 at 9:43 am

    What’s the deal? I left a Long Ass response… I can’t type it again!

  2. Navisionon 15 Oct 2008 at 9:43 am

    the Gist was: I LOVE me some Fake tits… I even typed a song…

    Lame

  3. You Just Made My List!on 15 Oct 2008 at 9:55 am

    I don’t know what happened Navision. I am sad though because I am desperate to hear your love song about fake tits. It might have convinced me to love these crimes against nature. We will never know.

  4. Arthason 15 Oct 2008 at 11:41 am

    Women who get a boobjob are just assholes. They reduce themselves to their tits. Like there weren’t enaugh men who do that.
    If you have small boobs, well big fucking deal. When it comes down to what matters, which is sex, there are tons of other things that turn men on.
    GODDAMMIT THIS PISSES ME OFF!!

  5. Weirdoon 15 Oct 2008 at 1:26 pm

    You are seriously my God… fuck Christianity.

  6. Weirdoon 15 Oct 2008 at 1:30 pm

    … well, I decided “fuck christianity” when I read about your Jesus puzzle. But that’s beside the point.

  7. Weirdoon 15 Oct 2008 at 1:31 pm

    SHIT. I can’t type.

    I meant to say

    “I decided ‘fuck christianity’ when i read about your Jesus puzzle YESTERDAY.”

    There we go.

  8. Xinaon 15 Oct 2008 at 4:23 pm

    My boobs are fake and they’re awesome. My husband and I were together for three months before I told him and he didn’t believe me. Lucky for him I had tons of naked pics from before and after so I could prove how tiny they were before. Really dude, don’t knock em till you try em. Mine are perfect and soft and squishy as well. And both my nips point in the same direction. Let me know if you’re ever in Orlando and I’ll let you find out for yourself.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 15 Oct 2008 at 4:29 pm

    Xina, I just booked my flight to Orlando and I am looking forward to examining your boobs. In the meantime it probably would make sense for you to email me some nude photos for scientific purposes.

    I hear what you are saying and agree that it’s possible for fake tits to turn out good (Brooke Burke) but most people are not as lucky as you two ladies.

    Congratulations on your awesome tits, I look forward to meeting them in Orlando!

  10. deathon 15 Oct 2008 at 4:48 pm

    I have done much…scientific…research into this and would have to say that about 94.536% of fake tits look like rocks have been put into the chest…but of course there are the rare few where you can barely tell…I’m all for the natural titties, can’t motorboat rocks as good as some squishy natural titties! Of course, I’m not complaining, if you looked like you had chubby boys tits maybe you need to upgrade hehe

  11. You Just Made My List!on 15 Oct 2008 at 4:51 pm

    Death is a poet and a scholar. I applaud you death!

  12. Solomon808on 15 Oct 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Is that Victoria Beckham? I think she looks like she came from the planet of the apes! Smile Bitch!

  13. You Just Made My List!on 15 Oct 2008 at 5:50 pm

    Yes, that’s Victoria Beckham. I like the poor woman whose job it is to walk behind her and carry her dress. I bet she drinks heavily at the end of each day.

  14. Fartfaceon 15 Oct 2008 at 9:02 pm

    Here’s my problem with it.

    Let me say first that I love my boobs. I would never get fake boobs.

    The problem for everyone else with getting fake ones is that YOU RISK THE LOSS OF SENSITIVITY! Why the hell, in our green earth, would you want to loose that wonderful, amazing, sometimes orgasmic feeling from nipple play? Why?

    …so you have a 4.464% chance of them not looking like rocks shoved under your skin?

    Gross. I would never date a guy that thought that looked good.

    And I say Beckham’s assistant has nicer looking boobs. But that’s just my humble, fully, wonderfully sensitive, natural breasted opinion.

  15. Xinaon 16 Oct 2008 at 5:46 pm

    I just ran the idea past my husband and he demands you bring a hot chick with you to Orlando so he can look at her boobs while you look at mine. It really is only fair.

  16. You Just Made My List!on 16 Oct 2008 at 5:56 pm

    Xina, it’s a deal! This will be pretty easy for me because like most bloggers hot chicks always follow me around. Do you have a guest room or do I need to bring a sleeping bag?

  17. Xinaon 16 Oct 2008 at 7:34 pm

    My husband and I have a spare bedroom. Let us know when you’re expecting to visit!

  18. Bennon 16 Oct 2008 at 10:55 pm

    The only time they aren’t a problem is when the girls do not get them enlarged to the DD size that they do. If they get a reasonable size, there usually isn’t any problem with they way they look. I’ve honestly seen fake breasts that have looked better than real ones. It’s pathetic, but it’s true.
    But again, they aren’t the size of small planets after the surgery. And they usually feel just as good too.

  19. Peteon 24 Oct 2008 at 11:16 am

    Posh needs to eat a cheeseburger. There’s nothing attractive about looking so gaunt.

  20. Rejectedbeautyon 20 Dec 2008 at 6:25 am

    “It’s weird to me that there is an entire generation of males who probably don’t know what a real tit looks like thanks to all the perfect round orbs all over the internet.”–

    Im so glad a guy admits this. I’m naturally a size 2, so obviously with that little fat it doesn’t make sense that I would have enormous boobs….but people tell me i would look like a model if i had implants. im not sure what to think then. if i did get them, i know i would get a lot of male attention. but it’s all fake, and it would maybe make me insecure–do they like me for me or because i have boobs now? and also i would be contributing to the misleading of all these guys who don’t know what a real boob or body proportions looks like. and indirectly, i would be adding to the pressures on normal girls.

    My ex used to watch a lot of porn with fake boob girls….all the while saying he hates girls who are fake and those ones are just for getting off. But after jacking off to the same type of body for 10 years, it’s hard for me to believe that i can hold any attraction to him. and he even said he couldn’t believe my boobs were so small. I mean, he knew their size when he met me…i don’t wear padding or gel bras or anything. whatever…i don’t know what to think. sometimes i do feel that bigger boobs will help me compete more in the world. for now, i’m trying to gain fat.

  21. You Just Made My List!on 20 Dec 2008 at 9:17 am

    I don’t think you should get fake boobs unless it was something YOU felt strongly about. I am not against doing something for yourself if it truly is what you want but I don’t think this is what you want. I’m sure you have a cute body with great perky boobs. You know, there are a lot of guys who prefer that so don’t think you need to change. What kind of a relationship would you gain from dating a guy who only cares about your boobs? Don’t feel pressured to change.

  22. DAMELon 20 Nov 2009 at 10:40 pm

    HAI THERE. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT…. I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY VERY GOOD DAY

  23. marieon 04 Jun 2010 at 6:53 pm

    Ive had a boob job, and mine are perfect, they r soft now, wernt at first , and i feel much better in myself, dont care wat anyone else says, i feel in proportion with the rest of my body and i feel great, u only live once so y not be as happy as u want to be , whatever way u have 2 make it.

  24. You Just Made My List!on 05 Jun 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Marie – I’m going to need a photo in order to be convinced.

  25. jO jOon 07 Jan 2011 at 11:53 pm

    Fake tits are so nasty now and always have been, I remember saying years ago that I felt sorry for all these women destroying there body getting them done wher they were the in thing, and look now you never see a porn start with huge nasty fake ones anymore, most men like real and small tits mostly because they still look thin, Big huge ones make them look fat and then there are the nasty scars that come with them or the fact that they cannot see the ground LOL the Circus left town years ago
    and you all have to still be the freaks of the world.