Nov 12 2008

“Scent Stories” air fresheners!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

Dude, did you get the new Scent Stories disc, “Farmer’s Market?” Yeah, it came out today. It fucking rocks!

Oh brother. Really? Please tell me there isn’t a single person in the world who has fallen for this weirdness.

In case you have a job and don’t watch soap operas, I will explain this madness. First, you buy a giant Febreze “disc player” and place it on the shelf next to your figurines and collection of novelty glasses. Then you choose from an exciting selection of discs with names like “Boardwalk” and “World Treasure” which you put in your pretend air freshener computer. Now you simply sit back and soak in the artificial stink of the boardwalk while your new disc takes you on the world’s saddest journey. Maybe, just maybe, if you close your eyes you can actually smell sweaty chest hair and the urine of 100 homeless guys.

When I see shit like this I feel like I might be stuck in the matrix or possibly from another planet.

PLEASE watch this clip of Shania Twain contemplating suicide while she pretends to give a shit about Scent Stories! I have never seen a more defeated person. She also likes that “it’s EASY” unlike those impossibly complicated candles!

(you have to sit through 45 seconds of nothing to get to the good stuff)

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9 comments so far

9 comments to ““Scent Stories” air fresheners!”

  1. Weirdoon 12 Nov 2008 at 6:08 am

    You are God.

  2. Lon 12 Nov 2008 at 8:12 am

    I would have to say my favorite part about that video is the way in which Shania emulates Sarah Palin in how she ends her sentences. Does she really have to think that hard about what she wants to say about Scent Stories?

    But really, who wouldn’t chose a clunky machine that looks more like a humidifier than anything over classy, colorful candles? I know I want to see that big hulking thing on my fireplace mantle when I walk in my door. And there is nothing like that big “cd player” on the edge of my tub while I enjoy a nice, fragrant bath.

  3. Creature of Habiton 12 Nov 2008 at 10:59 am

    I pray you and your fantastic imagination are making this stuff up. I can’t go on living knowing that people used brain cells, energy and resources to come up with this.

    Why Shania? WHY?

  4. You Just Made My List!on 12 Nov 2008 at 11:11 am

    Maybe I will wake up from a coma to find Scent Stories was something my dying brain invented to deal with the pain. I hope.

  5. SanFranon 12 Nov 2008 at 12:49 pm

    I have a scent story – after reading, and watching (as much of it as I could) that terrible video, I got up from the couch and skulked into the bathroom and took my 10:30am dump. In it, there was left over lunch from yesterday (vegetarian lasagna with eggplant), dinner #1 from last night – Guay teaw kuaw gai (take-out from the Ton Yong Thai Cafe near my office), a late dinner #2 with my lovely wife at home: home-made spicy butternut soup – all tamped down and ushered out by a big ole cuppa coffee this morning with breakfast.

    The scent: well, it was as shitty as that video and then some.

  6. MalaSuerteon 12 Nov 2008 at 12:51 pm

    I hate to crush your hopes and dreams of a coma-induced fantasy of crappy consumer marketing– but it’s real.
    I’m kinda ashamed to say that I remember seeing the infomercial they made for this thing a couple years back.
    So Shania Twain’s latest album is a disc of stench?
    Sadly, the scentstories CD would smell better than all her other albums.

  7. MalaSuerteon 12 Nov 2008 at 12:53 pm

    And I like that someone decided to release a behind-the-scenes of the making of Shania’s akward interview.
    WHO CARES?!?

  8. rxon 15 Nov 2008 at 12:26 pm

    i can’t stop laughing

  9. Nameless L.O.S.T. Extra - Soon deadon 13 Feb 2011 at 4:57 am

    Your remark made that video palatable Listy, that was genius and fucking hilarious. She’s sitting there thinking, “Is it worth it to do this, for some free candles and some kind of a donation to charity or something? … whatever, just get through this interview, and you can go back to not thinking about life.”