Nov 17 2008

People who know how to unicycle!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

This is a case where I almost feel a little guilty and start to wonder why so many things bug me. But who cares, I just hate people who took the time to learn how to unicycle. It’s such a “look at me, pay attention to me” kind of thing to do (unlike blogging). It’s bad enough when someone rides a normal unicycle but then there are those turds who ride the super tall unicycles. They are the worst people in the world. The only thing that could make the unicycle scene worse would be if they held their own critical mass and rode around in traffic juggling and looking smug.

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10 comments so far

10 comments to “People who know how to unicycle!”

  1. Lon 17 Nov 2008 at 8:06 am

    Yeah, they’re annoying. But how fucking funny is it when they fall? Watching someone ruin their shit on a unicycle is one of the funniest things every because it’s so very “look at me, look at me!” I liken it to seeing the snotty, arrogant little shit in your 3rd grade class FINALLY getting his ass kicked by some 5th grade girl. I don’t know why, that’s just the comparison I pulled out of my ass.

  2. You Just Made My List!on 17 Nov 2008 at 9:14 am

    L, I have yet to see a unicyclist fall because as soon as I see someone on a unicycle I go blind for a few minutes. It’s my brain’s way of protecting me.

  3. SanFranon 17 Nov 2008 at 5:45 pm

    I had a unicycle once… and my balls are still pissed off…

  4. You Just Made My List!on 17 Nov 2008 at 5:55 pm

    I want you to apologize to your balls, right now! They were probably just afraid they were going to die a virgin if you kept riding around on that thing.

  5. SanFranon 18 Nov 2008 at 9:06 pm

    I managed a bike shop for a while, back in high school and as a summer gig in college. I’ve ridden a lot of bikes in a lot of places and done some stupid shit… I even once owned a “bone crusher” – one of those vintage bikes with the giant front wheel and no brakes. We built a bike at the shop that had two head-tubes… and ring gears around them, so when you steered the handlebars right, the front wheel went left – utterly impossible to ride because you can’t re-wire your brain to figure that out.

    Anyhow, the unicycle… not only difficult, but fucking deadly to learn. I’m shocked I survived even five minutes on the thing.

    Thanks for apologizing to my balls, by the way. That means a lot to me, truly. My balls are indebted to you – is there anything they can do to pay you back? Anything they can give you?

    you’ve got something on your chin, by the way.

  6. Bennon 26 Nov 2008 at 2:40 am

    Well fuck you guys too.
    I never took a minute of my day to learn to unicycle and I only just recently found out I can do it.
    Pick one up and try it at least, before you judge. Filthy fuckers.

  7. Lars Lottrupon 26 Nov 2008 at 4:21 am

    Once you pass 20 and start degenerating your brain it starts taking time learning how to unicycle. Kids on the other hand pick it up in an hour or so. If you spend a little less time blogging you might also be able to catch it.

    Unicycling gives you a great sense of balance and enhances your motor functions with in time increases your learning abilitys.

    I have atught many to ride a unicycle, and it is fantastic to see what it does to their general behaviour to gain this extra level of body control.

    Ridig a tall unicycle is not that hard. Not comared to trials where you hop on stuf. That is a disciplin that taktes real guts and a lot of training.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 26 Nov 2008 at 9:00 am

    Benn, We all make choices in life that we mus live with.

    Lars, I don’t think it could be possible for me to spend less time blogging. Having you seen how little effort I put into this piece of crap?

  9. Philon 30 Mar 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Haha, this post made me laugh. I would say that my first impression of unicycles is that most of the people who ride them are weird. Then I saw a few people riding them through town doing tricks on them so I went out and bought one myself. They are actually pretty cool, and that feeling of hatred you have, deep down is really just envy. Its one of those things that you have to try before you hate on them.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 30 Mar 2012 at 5:32 pm

    Phil – I swear to god, if one more person tells me I don’t like something because I’m jealous of whatever that thing is, I’m going to go on a fucking killing spree. Do you try EVERYTHING before YOU decide you don’t like it? Of course not. I’m allowed to hate your stupid one-wheeled jerk-off machine.