You just made my list!

I seriously cannot go a single day without seeing at least one person throwing up on TV. You may think that I only watch shows featuring Bret Michaels and the diseased whores who love him but honestly I never watch those shows. Television barfing is no longer relegated to the inky shadows of Bret Michaels' tour bus, it's everywhere! A couple days ago, I saw no less than 4 people puking on 4 separate TV shows! I wish I could remember the shows because they weren't all programs you would expect to see such a reversal of fortune. I will just make them up... Jeopardy, Meet the Press, The Weather Channel and let's say Sesame Street. When did it this trend become commonplace? Was I in a coma for 100 years? Speaking of TV and how the universe is against me... How the fuck does Rubina Ali, child star of "Slumdog Millionaire," have a better TV than I do when she lives in goddamn slum?!? No seriously, she lives in a real-life Indian slum. Do I do everything wrong?