Dec 23 2008

People who are better than me!

Published by at 3:00 am under Awesome!,Jerks,Why?!?

fuck_you_penguin

You know, every night after a long day of “work” I bust my hump to write some barely interesting shitty post for this crap blog of mine. Occasionally I will reread older posts and think “eh, that was sort of funny” but then two separate people in the last few days sent me a link to this blog called Fuck You Penguin and now I’m ready to quit. I suck.

It makes me so mad when people are better than me. This blog is not just a little better than mine, it’s WAY better. I give all of you permission to switch your allegiance to FYP. If I were you I’d rather read it, it’s better than this piece of fart soaked poo.

I don’t even like blogs.

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23 comments so far

23 comments to “People who are better than me!”

  1. Yubberson 23 Dec 2008 at 3:24 am

    Oi!! (Or is it Oy!!). This new post of yours isn’t provoking the usual jibbers in my brain. Jibbers: the conversations one has with themsef inside their mind. This one just makes me all pissy. Like a kid at summer camp with his hand stuck in a glass of hot water. I came on site today ready to be amused- instead. I wet myself. Pissy. Unpleasant pissyness.

    I like your blog. Others who read this on a fairly regular basis like this blog as well. *Right guys????* **RIGHT!**

    Sides- your blog’s name is much betta’. Cheer up stooge!

  2. Yubberson 23 Dec 2008 at 3:39 am

    Now I checked out the other website….

    Who cares about a bunch of animals and all of their human characteristics? Sure the raccoon bit was kinda cute… especially with the links that take you to a whole bunch more cute pictures… but who needs that? I don’t need that. Tim back here doesn’t need it. Sarah don’t. Does my cousin Sue? Nope.

    On a serious note- the site is a bit… dirty. I’m all for fucking cursing damnit, but shit! There’s is a lot of bullshit cursing all over that fucking website. Why the fuck they gotta be fucking swearing all the time? Shit. What kind of son of a bitch runs such a skanky fucking website making fun of all the shit he can’t fucking say to the assholes in his life- gotta take it out on the damn fucking animals!! What GIVES??? damnit.

  3. Xinaon 23 Dec 2008 at 6:59 am

    Oh honey bunny cheer up! You know you have a following and you know that they heart you. I don’t even remember how I found your blog but I thought it was so funny that I told everyone I know about it and I now check it daily while I photograph my fake boobs in the hopes that you’ll ask for a copy.

    Seriously though, if this is a pity party that’s a-ok. But what isn’t ok is you being bummed for no reason. You must KNOW that you’re funny. And you must also know that other people out there are funny. But your funny is special. It’s ha-ha funny, funny queer, ha-ohhh funny, jigga what funny, gasp funny and so many more. What I’m trying to say is that you’re great.

    Got it?

  4. Xinaon 23 Dec 2008 at 7:07 am

    I just looked at the site as well and I wouldn’t be bummed if I were you. Yeah, it’s funny. But big deal. If this guy isn’t caught with his dick in a chicken in the next year I’ll be shocked.

    Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. Unless you too get caught with your dick in chicken. Then, maybe worry.

  5. Creature of Habiton 23 Dec 2008 at 7:32 am

    Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It’s funny, but you’re so much funnier. Like, another dimension of funny…. and, plus you’re so cute! It’s the combo. Cute and funny, wrapped in a bitter, aserbic package. Who doesn’t love that?

  6. You Just Made My List!on 23 Dec 2008 at 8:42 am

    Thanks guys. Now I feel dumb. I wasn’t fishing for compliments, I was just trying to promote that blog in a funny way. See, I AM a failure!

    I honestly do get mad when people are better than me and maybe I don’t REALLY think FYP is better but I am very jealous of the idea. There are so few original ideas left so I am impressed when I see one, especially when it is executed so perfectly.

    Sorry for any typos, I’m typing this from my phone while half asleep.

  7. rachelon 23 Dec 2008 at 9:48 am

    not.funnier.at.all.

  8. Paul in Saint Paulon 23 Dec 2008 at 10:41 am

    YJMML, as an obsessive TV-watcher, you should be familiar with the term genre. Television programs are not all built the same way for the same purpose. Just try to compare The Lucy Show – Lucille Ball’s penultimate series that opened with her as a top-hatted, winking marionette, a fucking classic where Lucy screamed all of her lines and which she packed with guest stars (Sammy Davis, Jr., Shelley Winters, etc…) from yesteryear – with Three’s Company – another gem in its own right, starring John Ritter, whom I believe you believe to be something approaching the King of Comedy, and featuring enough boob, gay, and impotence jokes to satisfy the most demanding lowest common denominator, not to mention resurrecting the career of the great Don Knotts. The analogy, and I know this has been a long time coming as I lauded television landmarks, is that TV shows are made for entertaining in different ways, as are blogs. Your blog expresses genuine hatred for numerous targets, while the Penguin blogger is self-hating for being vulnerable to the obnoxious cuteness and anthropomorphism of wild animals. The two of you are writing for different purposes. And hey, did you see when Lucy hosted that Three’s Company retrospective? She viewed John Ritter as her rightful heir to the sitcom throne. May they both be clowning on a 3-camera living room set in heaven.

  9. guilty noodleson 23 Dec 2008 at 10:44 am

    BooHoo. Cry me a fucking river.

    You’re the funniest person I’ve ever met. Okay, so I don’t get out much and tend to talk to myself, but you make me laugh so hard, my husband gets jealous. Your blogs are one the first ones I read while eating my breakfast, in hopes of spewing juice out of nose and you always seem to come through.

    I’m dropping off some baked goodies to help you throw yourself a pity party. Keep an eye out.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 23 Dec 2008 at 10:59 am

    Noodles, WAIT, CALL FIRST! I am still in my long underwear and have not showered!!! I look like an incredibly attractive homeless person!

    Everyone, Thanks for all the kind words. I feel like a huge asshole, I really wasn’t trying to throw a pity party. I know I am awesome! I guess I took a little too much poetic license with this post.

    I REALLY REALLY do appreciate that so many of you bother reading this blog and make such funny/interesting comments. I am a little amazed by it actually. I’m not a real writer so trying to keep this blog interesting is hard and I live under constant fear I am boring people. That’s all.

  11. guilty noodleson 23 Dec 2008 at 11:14 am

    You PANSY. I was just gonna leave it at your door. I didn’t want to see your Ashton-like face or I would’ve punched you.

    Smooches to the woman for me, mmmkay?

  12. hodanon 23 Dec 2008 at 12:57 pm

    in all of honesty, your blog is funnier because i can relate 2 your complaints.FYP doesn’t offer that, unless you are a disgruntle zookeeper. i don’t kno shit about animals let alone how shitty they really are(should we really be bothering to safe them? J/K, we most definitely should).so yes, You are a failure that promoting other blogs, LOL.

  13. Navisionon 23 Dec 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Really… Really… I think you suck! I don’t know why I visit your site multiple times a day… I really don’t.

    But you are better than that crap of FUCKYOUPENGUIN, although his title is pretty Awesome.

    PS. I love you! (not really)

  14. hodanon 23 Dec 2008 at 1:16 pm

    BTW listman, A blog that just might give you a run for your money is http://cskmodernist.blogspot.com/
    try not to nod too hard in agreement when you see the shit this person complains about. priceless.

  15. Ryeon 23 Dec 2008 at 7:43 pm

    You complete me.

  16. munchieson 23 Dec 2008 at 9:38 pm

    Awww πŸ™ I didn’t share that blog to make you feel bad! I just figured we had the same sense of humor since I love this blog so much.

    I can tell you how I found this blog. I had the terrible experience of being visually and verbally assaulted by the “7 Things I Hate About You” video by Miley Cyrus. I then felt the need to Google to see if anyone created a list detailing all the things they hated about Miley Cyrus.

    2.0 seconds later, here I was. I laughed, and then I forwarded it to all my friends.

    Hopefully tomorrow you’ll be in a better mood πŸ™‚

  17. ex-stripperon 23 Dec 2008 at 11:22 pm

    I read the FYP website and I must say it is funny but I feel like the author may have some unresolved bestiality issues which I really hope you don’t have, because I would then be finding a palace in vain and housing myself and the other people in your harem for nothing. And I don’t need that, so there is no need to fixate on some other author when there are a number of women who are your self-professed groupies!

  18. Yubberson 24 Dec 2008 at 4:00 am

    I told you!! See how we love you πŸ˜€

    On a note, on top of a note, beside another note: It’s your humbleness that makes this such a delightful blog as well. You aren’t some pretentious asshole trying to make people listen to you bitch and complain (Which is what I felt the other site was trying to do). You’re a ‘Joe’ (not necessarily average) just like the rest of us- harping about stuff we harp about. It’s great! You give us something eye level to laugh about with a humble, sincere, surprising humor.

    That’s what we like about your blogs πŸ™‚

    Working the overnight shift for 3 years I’ve exhausted all other avenues of entertainment to keep myself from feeling like the walking dead at 2 am. Occasionally you hit those roadblocks of boredom and exhaustion and all you can think about is what whacked up excuse you can come up with to get the hell outa work. *HUG* You make me not want to quit my job every freakin’ night at 3 am.

  19. You Just Made My List!on 24 Dec 2008 at 10:27 am

    Yubbers, Awwwww thanks. GROUP HUG!!!

  20. rxon 26 Dec 2008 at 9:40 am

    okay, i’ll admit. i’ve been cheating on you with FYP too. my friend linked me a couple of days ago and i’m hooked. but i would never leave you! NEVER.

  21. You Just Made My List!on 26 Dec 2008 at 11:36 am

    RX, just promise me you will wear a condom. AND NO KISSING!

  22. hutchon 27 Dec 2008 at 8:40 am

    Dude,
    Do you want your Kleenex to have the aloe vera added for comfort. Quit crying and moping about how much better others are…and WRITE! We don’t need some pusswa…we want action. Step up and make it happen soldier!!!

  23. rxon 28 Dec 2008 at 12:30 pm

    i know the rules!