Jan 16 2009

The blond surfer dude on TMZ!

Published by at 3:00 am under Jerks,Sucky TV

Max Hodges blond surfer guy on TMZ

I would like to preempt any desire you might have to tell me to “burn my TV.” It’s not going to happen so I don’t want to hear it. I don’t need to be told to turn off the TV and pick up a book so fight that urge you fucking hippies.

Now that we have that unpleasant talk out of the way I can explain why I even know who this guy is. You see, I used to be like you and would ignore programs like TMZ. That was until they placed it between my 5:00 Simpsons and my 6:00 Simpsons. I have a little TV on my desk but I don’t turn it on until 4:00 for People’s Court. Have I ever told you how much I love People’s Court? The mere mention of People’s Court makes me kiss my fingers while making the “muah” sound like a cartoon Italian chef on a pizza box.

Anyway, thanks to the programming change I started listening to TMZ while working. I would occasionally glance over but only to make myself feel superior to the idiots who actually watch this crap. A few disapproving glances turned into watching an entire “story” about Pauly Shore waiting for his car at the valet stand. Next thing you know I’m watching a hard hitting piece on Tori Spelling and that husband of hers waiting for their car at the valet stand. Before I knew it I was watching a full 22 minutes of C and D list celebrities waiting for their cars at valet stands. AND LOVING IT!

The more boring or mundane the activities these “celebs” were engaged in the more I wanted to watch. Look, there’s Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo drinking coffee. OH LOOK, it’s Seal walking through a parking lot not saying a word. What’s that you say, you have a 2 second clip of that guy from Scrubs going through airport security?!? Be still my beating heart!

If you have not seen the show (loser), the format is a bunch of TMZ gossip hounds sitting at their morning meeting pitching ideas to head TMZ guy and sippy cup lover Harvey Levin (FROM PEOPLE’S COURT). They hold up a piece of paper with a photo on it and say “I’ve got Hulk Hogan eating a sandwich at the mall and he looks really fat” followed by a clip of Hulk Hogan eating a sandwich at the mall while looking fat. THAT’S THE ENTIRE SHOW and I fucking love it!

To get to my point, one of the main TMZ gossip guys who appears on the show every day is this surfer dude with long blond hair. He’s kind of the star of the “morning meeting” and usually gets the most screen time. Apparently he even has a name, Max Hodges. The weird thing is Max, who reports on celebrities, is starting to think he IS a celebrity. I guess he kind of is in a weird way. The point is, he’s starting to act like a douchebag and he’s wrecking my little TMZ utopia.

I just realized how long this post is and how few of you care. Burn your books and watch more TV!

These guys follow every move Max Hodges makes.

    75 comments so far

    75 comments to “The blond surfer dude on TMZ!”

    1. Mr. Kickers, Sr.on 16 Jan 2009 at 9:28 am

      I imagine I guy like Max (a bottom feeder) who is living in LA probably wants to be a celebrity. The town breaks down into two groups: people working in the business and people who want to work in the business who do jobs that support the business as they attempt to claw their way into the business. As you stated, he, in a sense, is now a celebrity. You really don’t have to do anything of merit to be famous in America anymore. The distinction between the word “famous” and “infamous” has been blurred and with the popularity of reality television, just getting on tv seems to make people believe that makes them famous. We are doing an awesome job of leading ourselves to slaughter. Did TMZ run a clip of our delusional, exiting president (infamous) rewriting the history of the last eight years in his final address to the nation? That is a classic clip – it only cost over a trillion dollars and the destruction of the American economy to make it.

    2. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jan 2009 at 9:47 am

      I was actually watching Bush’s farewell speech while writing this post. I didn’t realize what a good job he did. He really put it all in perspective for me. Sure, he mad a couple mistakes but as he explained it overall he did an awesome job and history will show what an amazing President he was. Prior to hearing this speech I was under the incorrect impression that George Bush was a huge piece of shit motherfucker cock sucker, but he set me straight! Can he run again in 2012? I miss him already.

    3. RBoneon 16 Jan 2009 at 10:20 am

      The thing about Max, besides the fact that I hate that I know who he is, is that he is not as dumb or annoying as it would normally take for me to disdain someone as good looking and micro-famous as him. If only he were MORE annoying then I could feel better about myself!

    4. hodanon 16 Jan 2009 at 3:03 pm

      what the f**K is TMZ?

    5. man crushon 16 Jan 2009 at 7:34 pm

      Because you care..

      http://www.tmz.com/2008/11/12/food-network-chef-bites-hands-that-feeds/

    6. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jan 2009 at 7:54 pm

      HOLY FUCKING SHIT, that cocksucker is wearing his stupid back-of-the-head sunglasses AT NIGHT! It’s bad enough during the day but at night it’s a whole new level of douchebaggery that I have yet to experience. What a tool!

    7. Jeffon 18 Jan 2009 at 9:47 pm

      Wow, I just got a twinge of schadenfreude watching the Tina Fey one. Her oh-so-clever portrayal of Sarah Palin has been rewarded with every member of ‘Generation O’ walking up to her randomly and asking to have their picture taken with her.

      She does, admittedly, take it in good stride and pretends to care – but what’s even more great is that she f***ing HAS to, or else she’ll look like the vapid characters she’s trying to lambaste on 30 Rock.

      Thanks for the TMZ pointer YJMML – hopefully they’ll get Rahm or Geithner at some point.

    8. Lin Woon 13 May 2009 at 7:56 am

      im writing a skit right now about the ridiculousness of TMZ. the over-dramatic Harvy Levin, loser, and failed-actor blonde surfer. you r blog helped with some ideas.
      thanks :)

    9. [...] if he will even stop there, he might clear out all of Hollywood, which would be a disaster for this guy’s career. What did Billy Mays ever do to you, God? What is up your holy [...]

    10. [...] which spends a lot of time on a goodlooking blond photographer, who I just found in passing, from this blog, is called Max [...]

    11. danny partridgeon 26 Sep 2009 at 8:57 pm

      i used to get head from harvey and max. not only is the head subpar but they are totally annoying. guys dont you just hate when your having some guy blow you and he wants to go on and on about “girl did you see what angelina wore to the emmys” i mean cum on just work dat stick fellas. so annoying.

    12. judion 28 Jan 2010 at 3:38 pm

      I have been married for almost ten years. I told my husband that there is a list – five people you can be with – hot TMZ guy – you beat out Matthew McConaughey. I would Love to go cougar on you!!

    13. judion 03 Mar 2010 at 8:51 pm

      Hi, Danny Partridge,

      I had a crush on you way, way,way back when all the other girls where going crazy for David Cassidy. Still love the red hair, think you would be a blast to hang out with (maybe a little crazy!) but Max blows the doors off of David Cassidy on his best day! Sorry, but this guy is the hotest man I have ever seen in my life and I know hot, Harry Reems jumped out of a big box in my livingroom when I was eleven….I have his autograph…it says “Somday….Harry Reems”

      Max, “Someday………….Judi” (:

    14. You Just Made My List!on 03 Mar 2010 at 9:01 pm

      judi – Wait a cotton pickin’ minute! 2 questions…

      1) Why was Harry Reems in a box in your living room?

      2) Will you marry me?

      3) Are you single?

      4) Are you attractive?

      5) How can you call Max the hottest man you have ever seen?

    15. Megan Husseyon 30 Mar 2010 at 5:40 pm

      Judi, you rule!:) And I totally agree about Max.

    16. Megan Husseyon 30 Mar 2010 at 5:40 pm

      He’s totally hot and I love his sense of humor.

    17. nubianqueenon 16 Apr 2010 at 1:47 pm

      I can not understand how any female can consider this week effeminate man “hot”. For all of you white devil females that think this man is “hot” I would sincerely check your sexual identity because there is a good chance you might be actually repressing your lesbian inner self. Max Hodges is one of the most effeminate males I have seen in a long time. I mean come on ladies, he makes his living gossiping. Enough said. Can you say H-O-M-O-S-E-X-U-A-L.

    18. ADPon 29 May 2010 at 2:10 am

      Never judge a man’s femininity until you have seen him fight.

    19. Chrison 07 Aug 2010 at 10:11 pm

      “white devil females”… WTF… can you be any more racist??? I’m female, white and evil, so I guess that would apply to ME… but it’s rude to label and judge us all, lady… but whatever… and I think you mean “weak” by the way… And Max is hot. I appreciate beauty in all its forms, and it seems like many more people feel the same way. It’s not our fault that SOME people are closed minded and, well, just plain snotty. Saying that he can’t be hot because he doesn’t have bulging muscles and a crew cut is sexist and ignorant. We all have our own personal opinions, we are all entitled to them… but to publicly belittle a certain group of people (namely us evil white girls) for having an opinion that is different from yours is insulting, racist, and stupid. Max is adorable. That’s my humble, caucasion, demonic, non-lesbian opinion.

    20. Carolineon 21 Oct 2010 at 6:53 am

      East Coast to the West Coast:
      Max is the only reason I watch that show. He seems to be a free spirit, not a phony and a hot MF. Brad Pit look out. I know he will have a successful prosperous future on the big screen if he wants to. TMZ is lucky to have him. Surf up dude!
      All you haters….behave.

      PS- How did he really get that black eye??? HOT

    21. You Just Made My List!on 21 Oct 2010 at 8:33 am

      I believe that he got the black eye “drunk wrestling with his friends.” He probably took a boner to the eye.

    22. rpaganon 23 Oct 2010 at 1:38 pm

      ur abunch of self absorbed,jealous homosexauls,and have nothing going for your selfs.in reply to the max hodges bashing.u all sit behind the computer degrading people,u bunch of shitholes.stop bashing and get a life,you son of biches.

    23. You Just Made My List!on 23 Oct 2010 at 2:00 pm

      Rpagan – Seriously? That’s how you write? You are a fucking moron and you should be ashamed of yourself. Your poor parents.

      If you are the future we are doomed.

    24. rpaganon 24 Oct 2010 at 11:57 am

      to:# you just made my list! i hit that— egotistical nerve of yours i see.if anyone is a moran is you ,you lowlife.how much are you making to write the garbage you write.ashamed, you should be.

    25. You Just Made My List!on 24 Oct 2010 at 12:26 pm

      Once again, a well-stated comment from Rpagan. Way to go public school system!

    26. rpaganon 24 Oct 2010 at 1:23 pm

      i dont know what kind of childhood you had,but you sound to whinny and whimpy to me,only a mother can love that.

    27. You Just Made My List!on 24 Oct 2010 at 3:07 pm

      Another zinger from rpagan! Another incredibly misspelled and grammatically incorrect zinger!

    28. benon 25 Oct 2010 at 1:47 am

      maxx is a flaming homo sexual ps legalize weed niggas

    29. rpaganon 25 Oct 2010 at 9:50 am

      to:made my list-as long as im getting my message through to you,asshole thats what count.dont make me come over there.you best appologize dude.

    30. You Just Made My List!on 25 Oct 2010 at 5:39 pm

      Rpagan – That’s my point, you aren’t getting your message across because you are unable to communicate. You think I’m kidding but I’m not. Your communication skills are so fucking piss-poor nobody will ever understand your babbling.

    31. rpaganon 26 Oct 2010 at 11:27 am

      to my pal,my list:i know is hard on you to admit when you are wrong.i know you live to degrade people,is that love that keeps you going.was it in high school that you decided,you were going to become the prick that you are today?.you are so full of it man.get off that cloud you are living on.i pity the people around you.

    32. You Just Made My List!on 26 Oct 2010 at 11:47 am

      Rpagass – Actually I decided to be a prick in college. Prior to that I was just an asshole. College is just one of those places where you “find yourself” and for me that meant turning into a prick. For a while I was thinking about being a fucker, but ultimately decided it felt more like “me” to be a prick.

      There’s always that chance that I will have a mid-life crisis and turn into a douchebag or maybe even a dumb shit. We will just have to wait and see!

      Thanks for being my #1 fan and for religiously checking back several times a day.

    33. kakadoodoo3000on 27 Oct 2010 at 7:08 am

      hi! :) i totally love max. whatever people may call him, he is gorgeous, and he is funny.
      no, i don’t think he’s gay, bec. i didn’t go crazy about him instantly…took maybe 3-4 shows before this happened. the ones to whom i’m instantly attracted…hmmm…not a good track record, there.
      re: max allegedly being gay, because he deals in gossip for a living, babe, the STRAIGHT men i know are bigger gossips than the women i know. i think men are huge gossips, str8 or not.
      and if anyone said max is a failed actor–max doesn’t even want to be an actor! he used to just be a runner for TMZ, and another similar outfit, before that.
      what makes him most attractive, imho, is how he’s just so casual, so relaxed–he doesn’t vogue, you know what i mean? a lot of handsome guys are so damn camera conscious, doing their version of blue steel all the time. max is just max. :) naturally sexy.

    34. You Just Made My List!on 27 Oct 2010 at 8:27 am

      Don’t kid yourself, Max puts more effort into his casual surfer vibe than you think.

    35. rpaganon 27 Oct 2010 at 11:15 am

      how the fuck would you know,unless you were a sufer wanna be asshole.

    36. You Just Made My List!on 27 Oct 2010 at 4:30 pm

      rpagan – Wow, you really have nothing going on in your life. Don’t you think it’s odd that you would spend so much time 1) obsessing over me and 2) obsessing over the blond dude on TMZ?

      Get a hobby. Perhaps buy some books on grammar.

      Talk to you later.

    37. rpaganon 28 Oct 2010 at 12:04 pm

      to you list asshole:Ive had it with you,you have this fucking need to repeat your self. and its gotten boring,frankly i dont give a fuck what your homosexaul tendencies are.you made it quite clear that you are one hateful son of a bitch.so go fuck your self.

    38. You Just Made My List!on 28 Oct 2010 at 5:46 pm

      rpagan – I knew you would be back. You love me so much!

      I’m sorry to hear our relationship is about to end, I will miss you and your creative use of the English language. As a tribute to you, I will take your last comment and show you how it would read if a non-idiot wrote it. You did pretty well, only 19 mistakes in 4 sentences!

      “To you, list asshole,

      I’ve had it with you. You have this fucking need to repeat yourself and it has become boring. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck what your homosexual tendencies are. You made it quite clear that you are one hateful son-of-a-bitch so go fuck yourself.”

      See how easy that was?

    39. Melanieon 13 Nov 2010 at 9:45 pm

      HaHa! I loved the spat with #rpagen. That boy is an idiot. lol.

      Although, I AM a Max fan. Rawr.

      :)

    40. dirty old broadon 26 Dec 2010 at 1:02 pm

      i’d pay anything to have pretty boy there sit on my face and tell me he loves me, and he can even call me mommy if he wanted.

    41. You Just Made My List!on 26 Dec 2010 at 1:09 pm

      I just threw up in my mouth and the mouth of the person next to me. She then threw up back into my mouth. So if you are keeping score, that’s my barf, her barf and my original barf, all in my mouth.

    42. dellon 19 Jan 2011 at 1:13 pm

      max is an elitist actually, if you people swinging on his nuts would actually listen to what he says you would know this;
      1. he lives in his parents guest house in Malibu, loser
      2. he is a snob, who says he’d never be caught dead south of wislhire,and thinks Beverly hills adjacent is, ‘ghetto ‘
      3. he thinks poor people are funny and looks down at them.

      What this means is that he is representative of all that is wrong with LA, you know those west LA elitist types, are evil cowardly pricks. I dont care about his looks or that he is on tv, only non LA people would get excited about thst lol, but his nature is apparent. Girls who dont see it are blinded by thoughts of his dick down their throats to see the truth

    43. dackyon 21 Jan 2011 at 9:29 pm

      YJMML you are a snarky sob and I just love your fight with rpagan.
      Just cut out the homophobic crap and you might just host the Golden Globes someday.

    44. You Just Made My List!on 22 Jan 2011 at 9:10 am

      Dacky – Thanks, I am great, but at what point was I homophobic?

    45. LG Chickon 24 Feb 2011 at 2:38 pm

      YJMML – I just watched an episode of TMZ, and I must say, you totally have Max pegged! I, too, love the spat you have had going – VERY entertaining! Some of your comments have been so f-ing hilarious, I laughed my ass off! I so wish I knew you, so that we could be friends. I hope you come back to this site, and keep it going. Bummer that I ran into it so late in the game….

    46. Sylvesteron 28 Mar 2011 at 9:56 am

      Ok, for all the ladies who think surfer guy is hot, you’d better check out this site (it’s a mugshot) and see what “his” little secret is…woo hoo.

    47. Sylvesteron 28 Mar 2011 at 9:56 am

      OOps…here it is…
      http://shastamugshots.com/mug/serena-marie-walter-1

    48. You Just Made My List!on 28 Mar 2011 at 4:21 pm

      Sadly, he’s prettier than the mugshot chick, but it’s close.

    49. Taco Mary Zebraon 18 Apr 2011 at 5:35 pm

      That guy looks like a reject from an 80’s hair band or a surfer Fabio; dresses like he’s a Latino gangsta (with his plaid shirts buttoned all the way up). He seems cocky and laughs only at his own jokes and looks mad when people laugh at the other gossipers’ jokes.

    50. kamalon 20 Apr 2011 at 11:20 pm

      I just signed on to comment on how frickin’ sick and tired I am of surfer dude. He has become more and more obnoxious with time. And, so disrespectful of women in his comments. Harvey is getting more and more overly dramatic. They are both so entertained by their own comments. I want to barf. And, am watching TMZ less and less because the show has become real trash. Then, find the argument between rpagan and yjmml and cracked up laughing. Their debate is much more entertaining than Harvey and surfer dude.

    51. lehon 03 Jun 2011 at 12:03 pm

      get a job.

    52. You Just Made My List!on 03 Jun 2011 at 5:58 pm

      Yeah Max, get a job!

    53. lehon 29 Jun 2011 at 8:43 pm

      He has a job with E! and is on TMZ. Why would he need another job?

    54. Magon 14 Jul 2011 at 4:51 pm

      He is cute but I can not stand him. he always talk about gross and unusual thing. just a lazy pig

    55. [...] laid-back blonde surfer staffer Max Hodges and spiky-haired blonde staffer Dax Holt both get almost more screen time than Levin and [...]

    56. wilon 31 Jul 2011 at 2:26 pm

      this girl is so cute!! ushhhhhh he’s a boy or a girl? well whatever he”s a girl in soul :-)

    57. [...] laid-back blonde surfer staffer Max Hodges and spiky-haired blonde staffer Dax Holt both get almost more screen time than Levin and [...]

    58. [...] laid-back blonde surfer staffer Max Hodges and spiky-haired blonde staffer Dax Holt both get almost more screen time than Levin and [...]

    59. Carmillaon 01 Dec 2011 at 11:57 am

      You’re a hypocritical douchebag. you looked down your nose at people who watch TMZ, yet you actually watch People’s Court? I don’t know which is worse, the fact that you love People’s Court, or the fact that you actually have a T. V, at work.

      I really dislike people like you, the fucktards who actually watch day time television, you annoy me to no end. that is all.

    60. You Just Made My List!on 01 Dec 2011 at 12:03 pm

      Carmilla – Exactly how dumb are you? I said that I LOVE WATCHING TMZ, you fucking idiot.

      Who’s the “FUCKTARD” now?

      (because you are very stupid I will answer that for you… it’s you Carmilla, you are the fucktard now.”

    61. julieon 30 Dec 2011 at 8:11 am

      I dont even think he’s the cutest guy in the bunch (though he gets the most camera time). I like the Irish dude and the one in the dreadlocks myself!

    62. hes hoton 04 Jan 2012 at 6:30 pm

      he is gorgeous.

    63. Donaldon 14 Jan 2012 at 9:32 am

      Speaking of sucky tv, i had the the thrill of sucking on Max Hodges’ ween once in the studio. It’s not that big and tasted like garlic. It was kind of fun tho but he ignored me after that.

    64. wholetruthyon 24 Jan 2012 at 10:32 pm

      get a haircut loser

    65. steveon 12 Mar 2012 at 10:53 am

      I just read a few comments here and wow. What a bunch of mean people. It is so much easier to love one another and no I am not a hippie. The blog post was pretty funny though. Come on people! Do at least one random act of kindness for a stranger today and see how that makes you feel.

    66. jonon 15 Apr 2012 at 7:30 pm

      speaking as a middle aged gay man … max hedges is HOT. yes, the show is dumb. yes, it cheapens our culture. yes, it feeds our weird obsession with celebrity.

      but that doesn’t change, what is ultimately more important: max hodges is hot. and kinda funny. and yes, in our world, he is definitely a celebrity.

      and did I mention that he’s very HOT?

    67. orlandoon 14 May 2012 at 5:15 pm

      Every time I see this long haired blonde good looking guy, He reminds of JOE DALLESSANDRO, the porn star during the Andy Warhol Era. Check it out and you’ll see the resemblance. Maybe they are the long lost father and son

    68. You Just Made My List!on 14 May 2012 at 9:35 pm

      Orlando – You had me at “porn.”

    69. Pirjoon 16 Aug 2012 at 9:37 am

      Wow, it seems I disagree with all of you. I don’t watch what I call garbage celeb. shows – in fact I’m a PBS fan, CNN, Knowledge Network fan – HONEST. But I came across TMZ a long time ago, and it’s the one show on T.V. now that really makes me howl laughing. I think Harvey is great, I love the way his “minions” make fun of him and he takes it. I love the very un-PC humour and the staff’s self-depricating humour and the guy that does the narration (googled but came up with nothing) deserves a damn EMMY, he’s so good. I haven’t laughed out loud by myself since Seinfeld….and that was a LONG time ago. So glad it’s been picked up for another 3 years. Oh yes, big crush on Charles.

    70. elisaon 22 Mar 2013 at 11:40 am

      TMZ is ok but Dish Nation is LMFAO funny! The Rickey Smiley Show cast are hilarious!

    71. Carlton Smithon 15 Apr 2013 at 9:40 pm

      Nice to see most people agree this guy is an idiot want to be. He never has anything to say except, duuu I like to drink and duu I’ll have sex with anything. LOL

    72. Veniceon 05 Jul 2013 at 8:59 am

      I like the Irish dude and the Black guy with the dred locks waaaaay better!

    73. Peggyon 05 Jul 2013 at 9:06 am

      Give the new hot Irish guy with those electric blue eyes more camera time PLU-EASE!

    74. RUPufnstufon 01 Nov 2013 at 11:04 am

      I stumbled onto this site after attempting to find out why Max Hodges wasn’t on TMZ lately. I had assumed he was on vacation but, the absence stretched out to the point that I became curious enough to seek enlightenment. Looks like he quit the show altogether, although I can’t seem to find his reason anywhere.

      I came back here to let you all know that he’s no longer on the show so, you have nothing left to fight about, which is a pity, because I was really enjoying the flame-war.

      Parenthetically, I would declare YJMML the obvious winner but, I don’t want to fan the flame-war now that Elfish {Max} has left the building, so to speak.

    75. You Just Made My List!on 01 Nov 2013 at 2:10 pm

      WINNER!