Jan 16 2009

The blond surfer dude on TMZ!

Published by at 3:00 am under Jerks,Sucky TV

Max Hodges blond surfer guy on TMZ

I would like to preempt any desire you might have to tell me to “burn my TV.” It’s not going to happen so I don’t want to hear it. I don’t need to be told to turn off the TV and pick up a book so fight that urge you fucking hippies.

Now that we have that unpleasant talk out of the way I can explain why I even know who this guy is. You see, I used to be like you and would ignore programs like TMZ. That was until they placed it between my 5:00 Simpsons and my 6:00 Simpsons. I have a little TV on my desk but I don’t turn it on until 4:00 for People’s Court. Have I ever told you how much I love People’s Court? The mere mention of People’s Court makes me kiss my fingers while making the “muah” sound like a cartoon Italian chef on a pizza box.

Anyway, thanks to the programming change I started listening to TMZ while working. I would occasionally glance over but only to make myself feel superior to the idiots who actually watch this crap. A few disapproving glances turned into watching an entire “story” about Pauly Shore waiting for his car at the valet stand. Next thing you know I’m watching a hard hitting piece on Tori Spelling and that husband of hers waiting for their car at the valet stand. Before I knew it I was watching a full 22 minutes of C and D list celebrities waiting for their cars at valet stands. AND LOVING IT!

The more boring or mundane the activities these “celebs” were engaged in the more I wanted to watch. Look, there’s Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo drinking coffee. OH LOOK, it’s Seal walking through a parking lot not saying a word. What’s that you say, you have a 2 second clip of that guy from Scrubs going through airport security?!? Be still my beating heart!

If you have not seen the show (loser), the format is a bunch of TMZ gossip hounds sitting at their morning meeting pitching ideas to head TMZ guy and sippy cup lover Harvey Levin (FROM PEOPLE’S COURT). They hold up a piece of paper with a photo on it and say “I’ve got Hulk Hogan eating a sandwich at the mall and he looks really fat” followed by a clip of Hulk Hogan eating a sandwich at the mall while looking fat. THAT’S THE ENTIRE SHOW and I fucking love it!

To get to my point, one of the main TMZ gossip guys who appears on the show every day is this surfer dude with long blond hair. He’s kind of the star of the “morning meeting” and usually gets the most screen time. Apparently he even has a name, Max Hodges. The weird thing is Max, who reports on celebrities, is starting to think he IS a celebrity. I guess he kind of is in a weird way. The point is, he’s starting to act like a douchebag and he’s wrecking my little TMZ utopia.

I just realized how long this post is and how few of you care. Burn your books and watch more TV!

These guys follow every move Max Hodges makes.

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75 comments so far

75 comments to “The blond surfer dude on TMZ!”

  1. lehon 03 Jun 2011 at 12:03 pm

    get a job.

  2. You Just Made My List!on 03 Jun 2011 at 5:58 pm

    Yeah Max, get a job!

  3. lehon 29 Jun 2011 at 8:43 pm

    He has a job with E! and is on TMZ. Why would he need another job?

  4. Magon 14 Jul 2011 at 4:51 pm

    He is cute but I can not stand him. he always talk about gross and unusual thing. just a lazy pig

  5. […] laid-back blonde surfer staffer Max Hodges and spiky-haired blonde staffer Dax Holt both get almost more screen time than Levin and […]

  6. wilon 31 Jul 2011 at 2:26 pm

    this girl is so cute!! ushhhhhh he’s a boy or a girl? well whatever he”s a girl in soul 🙂

  7. […] laid-back blonde surfer staffer Max Hodges and spiky-haired blonde staffer Dax Holt both get almost more screen time than Levin and […]

  8. […] laid-back blonde surfer staffer Max Hodges and spiky-haired blonde staffer Dax Holt both get almost more screen time than Levin and […]

  9. Carmillaon 01 Dec 2011 at 11:57 am

    You’re a hypocritical douchebag. you looked down your nose at people who watch TMZ, yet you actually watch People’s Court? I don’t know which is worse, the fact that you love People’s Court, or the fact that you actually have a T. V, at work.

    I really dislike people like you, the fucktards who actually watch day time television, you annoy me to no end. that is all.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 01 Dec 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Carmilla – Exactly how dumb are you? I said that I LOVE WATCHING TMZ, you fucking idiot.

    Who’s the “FUCKTARD” now?

    (because you are very stupid I will answer that for you… it’s you Carmilla, you are the fucktard now.”

  11. julieon 30 Dec 2011 at 8:11 am

    I dont even think he’s the cutest guy in the bunch (though he gets the most camera time). I like the Irish dude and the one in the dreadlocks myself!

  12. hes hoton 04 Jan 2012 at 6:30 pm

    he is gorgeous.

  13. Donaldon 14 Jan 2012 at 9:32 am

    Speaking of sucky tv, i had the the thrill of sucking on Max Hodges’ ween once in the studio. It’s not that big and tasted like garlic. It was kind of fun tho but he ignored me after that.

  14. wholetruthyon 24 Jan 2012 at 10:32 pm

    get a haircut loser

  15. steveon 12 Mar 2012 at 10:53 am

    I just read a few comments here and wow. What a bunch of mean people. It is so much easier to love one another and no I am not a hippie. The blog post was pretty funny though. Come on people! Do at least one random act of kindness for a stranger today and see how that makes you feel.

  16. jonon 15 Apr 2012 at 7:30 pm

    speaking as a middle aged gay man … max hedges is HOT. yes, the show is dumb. yes, it cheapens our culture. yes, it feeds our weird obsession with celebrity.

    but that doesn’t change, what is ultimately more important: max hodges is hot. and kinda funny. and yes, in our world, he is definitely a celebrity.

    and did I mention that he’s very HOT?

  17. orlandoon 14 May 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Every time I see this long haired blonde good looking guy, He reminds of JOE DALLESSANDRO, the porn star during the Andy Warhol Era. Check it out and you’ll see the resemblance. Maybe they are the long lost father and son

  18. You Just Made My List!on 14 May 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Orlando – You had me at “porn.”

  19. Pirjoon 16 Aug 2012 at 9:37 am

    Wow, it seems I disagree with all of you. I don’t watch what I call garbage celeb. shows – in fact I’m a PBS fan, CNN, Knowledge Network fan – HONEST. But I came across TMZ a long time ago, and it’s the one show on T.V. now that really makes me howl laughing. I think Harvey is great, I love the way his “minions” make fun of him and he takes it. I love the very un-PC humour and the staff’s self-depricating humour and the guy that does the narration (googled but came up with nothing) deserves a damn EMMY, he’s so good. I haven’t laughed out loud by myself since Seinfeld….and that was a LONG time ago. So glad it’s been picked up for another 3 years. Oh yes, big crush on Charles.

  20. elisaon 22 Mar 2013 at 11:40 am

    TMZ is ok but Dish Nation is LMFAO funny! The Rickey Smiley Show cast are hilarious!

  21. Carlton Smithon 15 Apr 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Nice to see most people agree this guy is an idiot want to be. He never has anything to say except, duuu I like to drink and duu I’ll have sex with anything. LOL

  22. Veniceon 05 Jul 2013 at 8:59 am

    I like the Irish dude and the Black guy with the dred locks waaaaay better!

  23. Peggyon 05 Jul 2013 at 9:06 am

    Give the new hot Irish guy with those electric blue eyes more camera time PLU-EASE!

  24. RUPufnstufon 01 Nov 2013 at 11:04 am

    I stumbled onto this site after attempting to find out why Max Hodges wasn’t on TMZ lately. I had assumed he was on vacation but, the absence stretched out to the point that I became curious enough to seek enlightenment. Looks like he quit the show altogether, although I can’t seem to find his reason anywhere.

    I came back here to let you all know that he’s no longer on the show so, you have nothing left to fight about, which is a pity, because I was really enjoying the flame-war.

    Parenthetically, I would declare YJMML the obvious winner but, I don’t want to fan the flame-war now that Elfish {Max} has left the building, so to speak.

  25. You Just Made My List!on 01 Nov 2013 at 2:10 pm