Feb 03 2009

People who violate my personal space!

Published by at 3:00 am under Jerks

personal space

Today while waiting in line at a local eatery I felt a creepy presence behind me and I knew, without even turning around, my personal space had been entered. He entered my little personal universe and ruined it! By the way, I love the word eatery, I like that it turns a verb into a noun. I’m going to start referring to all places like that from now on – i.e. the bathroom will now be known as “the poopery.”

Sorry. The worst part about this space invader is that at the time I was checking my email on my phone and this turd was literally only a foot behind me and possibly looking over my shoulder. I stepped forward but he followed as if we were attached by an invisible creepy rope. I closed my email, opened up the little iPhone notepad and wrote “people who violate my personal space.” I hope he read it.

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21 comments so far

21 comments to “People who violate my personal space!”

  1. Yubberson 03 Feb 2009 at 3:36 am

    I’m going to take a bet on something-

    You probably cannot stand when a stranger walks past you and gusts air in your face. Feels like you’re breathing in whatever mucky musty gunkiness that’s been feeding away at their flesh for 26 days right? I bet you hold you breathe.

    This is a combo of personal space and wind. Double threat.

    I don’t so much mind someone standing closely- so long as there is a damn good reason for it (concert pit, Six Flag lines, etc…) I don’t like it but I can deal.

    What I can’t stand is looking around my little radius and clearly seeing that there is a ton of space and the person is still standing all too close.

    I had done this to a co-worker once while she was on her period and she stuck out her arms and started waving furiously “Three Feet!! Three fuckin’ feet! Get out of MY three feet!!!!” Funniest damn thing ever, but I can relate.

  2. Kieron Mooreon 03 Feb 2009 at 3:52 am

    See i have a great solution for that, i have twitchy tourettes (not the cool shouty one) this causes me to have arm spasms once in a while…

    i sometimes use this to my advantage when on an empty train and for some reason someone comes and sits next to me when there about 10 empty double seats… i just start by twitching my legs and then move on to my arms. This can be adapted to any situation even lines at an Eatery

    See how many people are going to get mad or argue if they think you have an illness…

    Sometimes it rocks to be “special”

  3. Jeffon 03 Feb 2009 at 3:52 am

    You must be a real joy to fly with…

  4. Kieron Mooreon 03 Feb 2009 at 4:06 am

    ohhhh yes lol… i ring the airline first and ask if there is a seat on its own as i dont want to annoy people… they say no and then i take a seat as normal as after about 15-30 minutes the air hostess move me to a seat

    Last time i was next to an over the top religious man taking to me about god… LOTS … i kinda smiled then i twitch with him 🙂

  5. Xinaon 03 Feb 2009 at 4:46 am

    I’m sorry list guy. Your smell was just so alluring I couldn’t resist standing so close.

  6. Peteon 03 Feb 2009 at 7:26 am

    Agree! If I can stand still, hold my arms out to my side, and spin 360 degrees and clock you with a fist, you’re standing in my personal space and deserve it.

  7. CreatureofHabiton 03 Feb 2009 at 7:49 am


    I’m totally a breath holder! I didn’t know anyone else did that Yubbers! How embarrassing.

    I also would add to this list – staring. I can not handle people who stare at me, why do they do it? It’s like they are killing me with their laser vision. Creepy, nasty habit.

  8. joe rossonon 03 Feb 2009 at 11:18 am

    Before I was confined to a wheelchair I would hate having to sit in a chair that someone had just gotten out of.
    It made me feel like I was sitting in their bodily output. YUCK!!!

  9. SanFranon 03 Feb 2009 at 11:24 am

    You guys are all a buncha freaks. Get away from me! No, seriously, I’m completely fine with being in close proximity to others, but there are a certain percent of the populous who give me the heebie jeebies.

    I think it’s “the look” and then the invasion. It’s like – ahhh, what are you thinkin’, freakboy… DONT STICK THAT IN MY OUCH!!!!!

    OH, and it’s almost always men who do this. I think women are more attuned to it all.

  10. Kellion 03 Feb 2009 at 12:22 pm

    I agree. Once I was leaving a building via a revolving door and someone actually slipped in behind me in the same space. It was the creepiest 5 seconds of my life!

  11. Yours Trulyon 03 Feb 2009 at 12:48 pm

    I agree with you about people looking at your computer or phone over your shoulder. In fact, that just happened to me a few minutes ago as I was reading this site, and I find that the easiest way to get rid of them is to resort to shock tactics. Close Facebook and open Lesbianfistingorgies.com. Works every time.

  12. Stephanieon 03 Feb 2009 at 2:27 pm

    Ha ha… I am about to enter my own personal hell of space invasion. I can feel it. Once I start showing, it’s going to be all over. A bunch of strangers are going to put their creepy dirty hands all over my belly in about a month. I don’t want it! 🙁

  13. Yubberson 04 Feb 2009 at 12:36 am

    Stephanie- I actually produced and audible awwww on this one. I know for a damned fact that what you’ve described will the most hated experience of child bearing for me. I hate being touched randomly, and for whatever reason- when a female has a belly with a baby in it- people think it’s perfectly acceptable to get all touchy feelly. Don’t be afraid to carry a fork around, good for pokin’.

    Creature of Habit- Oh yeah, I am not alone!! What a relief. For the longest time I thought something detrimental happened in my childhood… wait a minute. Did something detrimental happen in your childhood?? Do you have an older brother???? Did he ever sit on you after eating tacos all day??????

  14. guilty noodleson 04 Feb 2009 at 8:27 am

    My girlfriend and I were discussing this issue the other day. Her son goes to every therapy imaginable, speech, occupational and I asked her if she thought it made a difference considering my stepson has Aspergers syndrome and wasn’t diagnosed until high school. She said, “No way. I think my son would still be running into doors in adulthood.”

    My stepson had no concept of space. He would either walk really far away from you or so close, he’d be kicking your legs or walking into you. We’d literally have to say, “Honey, you’re standing too close again. Some people don’t like it when you’re that close and mouth breathe on them.”

    He never got offended. He needed to be told or else he’d be oblivious to it. But that doesn’t mean I hate it. I even hate the “hugging” thing. I’m not a hugger. Anyone who goes in for one, my immediate reaction is to freeze and stiffen my entire body. And when someone leans in for the peck on the cheek, I make a face. I can’t help it.

    Okay, I have more issues than my stepson.

  15. Anneon 05 Feb 2009 at 7:28 am

    Hahahahaha!…can’t … breathe!….poopery!… hahahahaha!

  16. annoyedon 08 Feb 2009 at 9:53 am

    yeah i agree with the personal space thing, as well as the whiff of air from passers by, but I think thing that the worse thing one can do, other than violating personal space is STARING. I can’t stand it when MEN (Im a man, too BTW) pull up next to me @ the stoplight or alongside of me on the highway just to jolt their beady little eyes into my car, like they are expecting to see Giselle or some shit. WTF is wrong with these closet homos?
    They had better be glad Im a nice dude, because in my state it is completely legal to PACK and sometimes I sure would like to give them weirdos something to stare at, lol

  17. You Just Made My List!on 08 Feb 2009 at 4:12 pm

    Annoyed – While I agree being starred at is annoying let’s not get too crazy with all this “homo” and gun packing business. We are all free to complain on here but I’m not into violence and homophobia. Just saying.

  18. Lazeon 19 Mar 2009 at 11:41 am

    Im the same way. At the grocery store Ill stay in one places even as the line moves so that theres a huge space in front on me and the space invader is behind me. I then turn my back to them. Or Ill stand with a really wide stance so they cant get close to my body.

    If I cant put my hands on my hips a swing around freely you are too close.

  19. Lazeon 19 Mar 2009 at 11:44 am

    lol @ annoyed. Looking over at the car that pulls up is not homoerotic. Its called looking around at your surroundings. Maybe Im checking out your sweet 22″ rims on your 90 celebrity, the CD you have hanging from your mirror or those fake vent things people put on their quarter panels. Or maby Im checking out your girl.

  20. I’m in HELL! | You just made my list!on 26 Aug 2009 at 3:57 am

    […] People who get all up in my personal space! Luckily the crazy guy was now a mere 3 inches behind me. Nothing makes a long ling feel like a […]

  21. bon 12 Oct 2011 at 1:58 am

    I would have taken a finger to his chest and said,” Can I have some space here?! YOU’RE too close! DO you know that?” I have personally had to say this…and the person(s) look weirded out…but , they need to know that it is uncomfortable ….I personally think you should shout it at their face! Don’t feel bad … they are nosey , but then maybe do not know any better…I know what you mean, though …it aggravates me just typing about this.Arggh