Feb 10 2009
We’ve all been to Bed Bath & Beyond and marveled at their wall of shitty mass-produced art. Most of us (I hope all of you) make the correct decision to keep walking straight out the door with our bags filled with water filters, shower radios, margarita stations, candles and various unneeded “As Seen on TV” items. Believe it or not, there are people who stop at the giant wall of crap and think, “I wonder if that painting of the word ‘dream’ would fit over our bed?”
Holy shit, look at this photo I took today. I don’t want to live in a world with people who see framed plates and don’t have the instinct to smash them with a baseball bat. The words “mass-produced” and “art” should never be near each other. OK smart ass, go ahead and lecture me about Andy Warhol or popular music. Get it out of your system (I looking at you Jeff). This is different and you know it.
Believe it or not there is something even worse than the Bed Bath & Beyond “art” gallery. When I see the crap, hipster, bullshit “art” that Urban Outfitters sells I want to pick up the nearest pair of $100 purposely-ripped jeans and hang myself. It turns my stomach. Is there anything less hip than plastering your walls with the same piece of shit silk screened monster truck that the rest of your dipshit hipster friends have?
People who are lucky enough to have visited my home may question my choice in art but if anything it’s the exact opposite of mass-produced.
It’s not easy being so right all the time but I manage.
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