Jul 31 2008

Restaurants in the sky!

Published by at 4:00 am under Jerks,Why?!?

I have never wanted to see a crane collapse as much as when I stare into the soulless faces of these jerks. How bored do you have to be to pay something like $20,000 to eat while hanging from a fucking crane? You will not find a human being on this planet who is more bored than me and yet I somehow have avoided calling “Dinner in the Sky” to come hoist my lazy ass 150 feet in the air for a little fine dining while strapped to a chair like a turd. YAY, now you have a lame story to tell all your lame friends down at the country club.

If I didn’t know this was real I would assume it was an internet gag. The best part? Here’s the first item on their FAQ page…

“Toilet Facilities – It’s like in a normal restaurant: you ask where they are to the waiter and… you go down. It’s just a bit less discreet because the whole table goes down but it takes less than a minute.”

It’s not going to take less than a minute if it’s me who’s using the toilet facilities. “Hey everyone, I know you all paid like a million dollars to eat up in the sky so all the poor people could watch but I need to take this bitch down for a sec. I REALLY have to shit you guys. Sorry but I am touching cloth over here. Very expensive cloth.”

Hey rich jerks, YOU WON ALREADY! You don’t need to prove it by eating from a crane for all to see.

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4 comments so far

4 comments to “Restaurants in the sky!”

  1. you a doucheon 13 Aug 2008 at 1:37 pm

    your so jealous it’s cute…

  2. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2008 at 2:00 pm

    Of course I’m jealous you big silly. I would love to have enough money to piss away on stupid shit. I would love to buy a toilet that hung from a crane, that way I could poop and pee on all the useless poor people below me.

    To your other point, thank you for thinking I’m cute. I usually describe myself as “handsome” but cute could work too. Hold on, let me go look in the mirror… OK I just checked myself out in the mirror and I guess there is a certain cuteness to me. Possibly even a boyish charm. Hold on, let me go look again (you are really making me work today “you a douche”)… OK I just took another look and I’m going to estimate I am 75% handsome 22% cute and 3% unknown.

    Thanks for being a loyal reader “you a douche!”

  3. Whateveron 22 Dec 2009 at 9:51 pm

    the guy on the left is saying in some dbag half-british, one-third-french, one-third italian accent something about “if i peed in this glass and gave it back to the waiter do you think anyone would notice” while the asshole on the right whispers “i’m wearing my wife’s panties” in the same exact accent…god im jealous

  4. simon reeveson 21 Mar 2013 at 10:50 am

    radio controlled plane? golf ball? guns and roses played to 11…. why not add to the dining enjoyment of these cocksuckers?