Mar 12 2009

Rihanna and Chris Brown!

rihanna chris brown

I tried to resist talking about these two but they are making it impossible! Chris Brown is obviously a huge, steaming pile of donkey turd. Who the fuck is he anyway? Is he a rapper? I can’t tell anymore, everyone looks like a rapper. Do I even need to go into detail about Chris Brown’s epic level of douchebaggery? Let’s move on.

What’s even more insane is that Rihanna is prancing around with this asshole acting like nothing happened. They’re living it up in Miami on jet skiis, partying with Puff Diddy and even working on a song together. Does she remember when he was beating the shit out of her and trying to THROW HER OUT OF A MOVING CAR? If I forget to take the recycling out I hear about it for a week.*

I honestly don’t know who I’m more disgusted with in this scenario. They are both such great role models. I’m burning my Chris Brown and Rihanna CDs! Do they still make CDs?

*this is an exaggeration in an attempt to make this post more awesome and hilarious. I actually only hear about it for a couple hours.

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15 comments so far

15 comments to “Rihanna and Chris Brown!”

  1. jasonon 12 Mar 2009 at 5:44 am

    YJMML, I hear you and couldn’t be more in agreement. Hasn’t either of these assbags seen the Ike and Tina story? Chris B. is such a freakin punk anyway. Rihanna is no better for not having a single shred of selfrespect. I’m over it! I mean at first I was with the rest of the country in disbelief and shock and feeling sorrow for poor Rihanna but she went back to the this freakin scrot! I hear you on the issue of recycle also. The other night I was asleep and dreaming I was running. I accidently, remember I AM ASLEEP, kicked my wife. No mark, not even a bruise or scratch or abbraision, and I still sleep confined to one edge of the king sized bed we share to minimize any chance of it EVER happening again. This story needs to die, quietly and quickly.

  2. CreatureofHabiton 12 Mar 2009 at 6:56 am

    Yes, they are both idiots. First him, now her. Both of them can kiss their careers goodbye. Though, I must say I was not aware of his existence until this whole episode unfurled. I knew her from that one song….

    Let’s move on to things more worthy of our scorn.

  3. Yours Trulyon 12 Mar 2009 at 8:16 am

    Listman: It took at lot of courage to admit you own a Rihanna CD. Good for you.

    She’s an idiot for going back to that douche anyway. They should both be shot out of a cannon into the sun. That would be a hot story.

  4. Saraon 12 Mar 2009 at 10:03 am

    It started with a booty call text message from Brown’s 42 year old manager, aparently they have had a sexual relationship sense Brown was 16. All their lives are fucked up.

    And I saw Tina Turner doing a TV interview pleading with Rhiana to come to her senses.

    Looks chicks its a fact Once a beater ALWAYS a beater, People DONT change

  5. Sundayon 12 Mar 2009 at 11:00 am

    All she needs is some lame excuse for his behavior and she’ll justify it to herself very easily. I’m sure he can be a fun, cool guy most of the time, but I know I wouldn’t stick around for another unpredictable face bashing. But hey, chicks love interesting guys.

  6. hodanon 12 Mar 2009 at 1:19 pm

    HA! took you long enough to mention these idiots.i was never a fan of Chris brown or Rhianna, i always thought they were knockoffs of other great artists, but going ike turner on a chick is not cool.RiRi you are an idiot for taking him back.

  7. justapersonon 12 Mar 2009 at 2:35 pm

    They deserve each other.
    LISTMAN, even though you didn’t want to, thanks for adressing this issue. It is whats wrong with “pop” culture today. Rapper, gangsta rapper, hip hopper- they are all the same. They glorify violence and use “music” to cover up their illegal activities, and not a single one of ’em know what MELODIC INTENT or an ACTUAL INSTRUMENT IS. They think a BEAT MACHINE is an instrument, and the core of their weak songs are their BEATS—-ROFL!!!! This is disrespectful to the TRUE musical pioneers that laid the foundation for this ridiculous garbage to become mainstream.
    I hope these two geniuses NEVER create a child, because the only one that will suffer in the end is that poor kid.
    What a sad, sad society we live in.
    If I thought there was a god I’d pray to him, but I gave up on that years ago. I just get me a beer and say to hell with it because nobody really cares anyways.
    Thanks

  8. hodanon 12 Mar 2009 at 3:45 pm

    justaperson- don’t hate on Rap, it ain’t all bad at least not compared emo,pop and punk.

  9. Yours Trulyon 12 Mar 2009 at 4:25 pm

    That’s right, justaperson. If you’re going to hate, at least hate Celine Dion for being so shitty.

  10. Apples007on 13 Mar 2009 at 7:51 am

    Let me first say that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog and I think you are one of the funniest people on the planet. Now on to the subject at hand: Chris Brown and Rihanna. I have always believed that media outlets have been leaving out important details of this story causing several holes that I just didn’t understand. Some of these details are now emerging and things are starting to make a lot more sense. Contrary to what sites have been reporting, Rihanna did not tell police that she was the victim of “escalating violence.” TMZ reported: “Multiple enforcement sources tell TMZ, the night of the attack Rihanna told cops she was the victim of escalating violence — and the perp was Brown. “However, a source involved in the investigation tells Hollyscoop exclusively that in the reports, Rihanna confessed there have only been two other incidences in which she felt threatened, but this was the first time Chris retaliated. (At this point I want to say that in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM was he EVER to retaliate because she is a woman and just because she hit him and was abusive to him first DOES NOT mean that he gets a pass. He should have walked away! Violence is NEVER the answer in a domestic disagreement!)

    Rihanna told investigators that the first incident occurred in Europe three months ago. It was a verbal dispute, which led to Rihanna slapping Chris Brown. In self-defense, Chris put her up “against the wall” and told her to calm down. The second incident occurred when the couple was visiting Rihanna’s family in her native Barbados back in August 2008. She described the incident as a verbal dispute, and added that no one was assaulted. According to the source involved in the investigation, the night of the alleged attack, Rihanna attacked Chris after reading a text message sent to him by a former lover. The situation escalated and resulted in Chris’ alleged attack on Rihanna. Chris turned himself over to the LAPD on February 8 and was booked and later released on $50,000 bail.

    The Call for Help

    Although initial reports suggested that a female made the call to police, according to the report, it was a Rabbi who lives in the area. The unidentified man reportedly heard the confrontation outside and called 911, He came outside when he heard shouting. “She was screaming out of control and he was extremely calm,” read his statement, adding that Rihanna “was not screaming for help, she was just screaming.”

    In most of the specials I’ve seen on domestic violence since this ordeal began, I noticed the focus was more on women who need to leave an abusive relationship, however I think a good topic for discussion is not only explaining to the man that if he finds himself in one, he should walk away but also explaining how. If you have a son who’s getting hit, scratched, bit etc by his girlfriend you have to teach him that he can’t hit her back because he’s 10 times stronger, however if it gets to the point where he has to protect himself then that is probably a good indication that this is a relationship he doesn’t need to be in because it is going to lead into something violent then he is going to find himself in a heap of trouble that he CAN’T get himself out of and a stigma that is nearly impossible to escape! One day he will pop her back….and he will go to jail.

    It just shows that men can be in abusive relationships too but if they stay, they are just as much at fault as a woman that stays in one.

    Oprah: “If he hits you once he will hit you again” and I completely agree with Oprah on this point. Once a relationship reaches that level there is no turning back and I think the best thing for both of them is for them to completely get away from each other because this is obviously not a healthy relationship.

    I just wanted to send a different perspective to this issue because when this story first broke before I was ready to condemn Chris I wanted to know all the facts. People were so quick to demonize this KID before we even knew ANY concrete details. I am glad some more facts about this story have finally emerged to where ever has a more complete picture. I however wanted to give Chris a small amount of the benefit of the doubt because there was no picture or evidence other then rumors when this story first broke BUT the picture of her face seals the fact that I will never look at him the same again because that picture was horrible and it was indeed excessive and it made me sad to see her like that. Let’s keep in mind that this picture was taken before all the bruising and swelling had a chance to sink in. The ONLY good thing that has come out of this unfortunate situation is that it got the word discussing issues of domestic violence and it has young men and young women re-evaluating there relationships. This dialogue is good and I hope it continues to shine a light on a serious issue well after all the dust settles in this case.

    I am speaking from a different point of view because I have a brother who is married to a woman who has EXTREME temper tantrums and I have been witness to several arguments that turn into over the top horrible situations that turn into physical bouts that SHE starts! I have seen things thrown at him. I have seen him punched, slapped, kicked, scratched and pushed you name it. (Each time I have witnessed these things I have ended up in a physical bout with her because he doesn’t want to hit her back because she is a woman) but I do sometimes fear that when myself or another sister is not around that he will indeed “snap” because how much can a man take before he loses it. Just like women get tired of it men get tired of it too the difference is men don’t have the benefit of the doubt on there side because they are men! Women can lash back and it is immediately justified as soon as there is proof that abuse had occured before. Well this is not the first time that SHE has lashed out at him over jealous behavior or what have you. I think when this behavior started they should have both parted ways because obviously they are NOT good for eachother. BTW Chris Brown is a R&B singer and NONE of his song are violent and he doen’t promote anything overtly sexual or violent in his lyrics or music. He is NOT a rapper! That is what made this story so shocking when it first broke because he had such a clean cut image. I just hope they both realize that they need to call it a day and move on but from the looks of it that is not going to happen. Ok I have said my piece. Now bring it on because I know alot of you are going to have something to say! LOL

  11. You Just Made My List!on 13 Mar 2009 at 8:52 am

    Apples – DAMN, you get the award for longest comment in YJMML history!

    I understand what you are saying. I was actually in an abusive relationship once. This girl was raised in a hot-tempered family and although she was never physically abused her father would punch holes in walls and generally explode over nothing. There were a handful of times when she would lash out at me by kicking and punching. I am a black belt in every martial art so I would simply throw her through the wall. OK, that part was not true and I only took Judo for one term when I was a 7. I earned my white belt. Anyway, when she would attack me I would try to calm her down but ultimately would have to remove myself from the situation. While it was tempting sometimes to hit back I would never do it.

    So what’s my point? I’m not sure, I should have woken up a little more before attempting this response. Basically I put Chris and Rihanna on my list because they are both wrong and both idiots. They deserve each other. Well, nobody deserves violence. Maybe they deserve other people.

    I find it disturbing that violence is so entertaining to everyone these days. Every “reality” show like The Real World constantly features physical fights and violent outbursts. Kids grow up with this and think it’s normal behavior.

    So to sum it up, I hate teenagers and Mtv.

  12. Sundayon 13 Mar 2009 at 12:14 pm

    The last two posts require too much thought for this website. We are here cause we like to see people demonized.

  13. Arooon 13 Mar 2009 at 2:15 pm

    I love that you said “I’m burning my Chris Brown and Rihanna CDs!” It sounds like you are burning copies for your friends or something. Nice.

    Also, these two make me vomit. They are on my list too!

  14. You Just Made My List!on 13 Mar 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Aroo – 🙂 would you like me to burn you a copy?

  15. justapersonon 14 Mar 2009 at 3:14 am

    Hodan-sorry if i offended you. Maybe i was a lil too harsh, but i still think these two deserve each other.

    Yours Truly- You are right, celine dion sucks. Her voice annoys the FUCK out of me as well.

    and as for thought?
    WTF is wrong with THINKING