Mar 27 2009

Yo, I suck!

Published by at 7:43 am under Jerks


Sorry, I’m human!

OK, here’s the deal. I have a few sites all running on the same server and due to my awesomeness I am starting to overwork the computer machine. You see, the internet is a series of tubes and… forget it, you can’t possibly understand. Anyway, it has made working on the site difficult BUT the complaining will resume Monday!!!

In the meantime, here’s a funny story. In high school I was dating a girl over the summer who moved to my town from Texas. About a week after school started I took her on a date to Fuddruckers. Nothing says “class” and “romance” like a 4lb cheeseburger. So as I’m taking my first bite she tells me that she’s dumping me. Couldn’t she have waited until after I ate my giant burger? Or here’s an idea, tell me BEFORE we get to Fuddruckers and I spend my lawn mowing money on your sorry ass. The best part however is that she casually told me she was breaking up with me because I was not popular enough. Let me tell you, that was a feel-good moment.

Not popular enough? ME?!?

Oh yeah, well I’m so popular now that I’m crashing servers! I’m too popular for technology to even fucking handle it!

When I reread this I realize she made the right choice.

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14 comments so far

14 comments to “Yo, I suck!”

  1. Willon 27 Mar 2009 at 7:55 am

    Is it the above story that started the downward spiral that has resulted in you looking like “Computer Nerd”

  2. You Just Made My List!on 27 Mar 2009 at 8:00 am

    Will – Specifically it was the 4lb cheeseburgers.

  3. Kieron Mooreon 27 Mar 2009 at 8:09 am

    list guy…. dont worry come to the uk… there is a term “GeekChic” basically all the girls and starting to go for the geeks… its awesome

    Funny story, your teenage heartbreat made me smile 🙂

  4. You Just Made My List!on 27 Mar 2009 at 8:11 am

    Wait, for the record, I’m not a geek (anymore).

    At least I don’t think I am. Shit, maybe I’m nerd.

  5. guilty noodleson 27 Mar 2009 at 9:24 am

    Listy, you should’ve taken your burger, walked out and left her with the check.

    I hope you’re not FB buddies with her.

  6. Kieron Mooreon 27 Mar 2009 at 9:46 am

    i take pride in being a geek… well not an uber geek… but IT pre-sales… so i kinda have to be

    nothing to be ashamed about… embrace your geekness 🙂

  7. jasonon 27 Mar 2009 at 11:57 am

    She did you a favor. She is probably fat, has a tramp stamp and lives in a trailer park with 3 kids by 2 different insanely popular alcoholic baby daddys!

    At least she had this revelation before you became one of the baby daddys, and you’re not funding this chicks bingo, scratch off and marlboro habit.

  8. jasonon 27 Mar 2009 at 12:03 pm

    btw. the pic freaking awesome. I can’t decide who’s more douchetacular, Mr. Orange, Gotti Hair guy or the two lame-O’s in lipstick and rouge! Possibly the guy with the asian writing on his arm, which I’m sure, stands for “Look and me I’m a douchebag of the first rate”! Does that guy also pluck his brows? What person with a penis does that?

  9. Tommy Rocheon 27 Mar 2009 at 12:11 pm

    guilty: the problem with that little scenario is that Buttfuckers is so classy that you pay before you get your food.

    sorry to hear about that lister. She clearly misinterpreted potential to be rich and famous with unpopular. if you need help learning about how to make a better server go to this link:

  10. hodanon 27 Mar 2009 at 12:32 pm

    that chick obviously couldn’t handle Listy. look how stable and nice he has become over the years.her lost.

  11. rachelon 27 Mar 2009 at 1:55 pm

    her loss, Listy. i’ve seen your fat-underwear-working-on-your-computer-picture. and all i have to say is…her loss.

    PS you better BRING IT on monday.

  12. guilty noodleson 27 Mar 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Wow, that’s fine dining. You pay before you get your food? Why have I never heard of that?

    In that case, Listy, you should’ve dumped your milkshake over her head and then walk out with not only your lunch, but hers too.

  13. ButteryPaton 29 Mar 2009 at 12:06 am

    Is there anything nearly as endlessly hilarious as Ted Stevens saying the internet is a series of tubes? I can’t think of anything, except maybe that .gif of Rush Limbaugh’s “Michael J. Foxtrot” as I’ve dubbed it.

  14. malasuerteon 29 Mar 2009 at 4:29 am

    so orange…. sooo orange…..
    sorry, the pic totally overrides your sad date story, but don’t sweat it…
    once I took a boyfriend to San Francisco for his first visit, and as soon as we got there all he did was bitch about how much he wanted some McDonald’s. To make it even better, he didn’t believe that I knew where a damn McDs was (never mind most of my family is from the bay and I was very familiar with the City), so we ended up walking for about 2 hours until he would take my directions… and I put up with that shit.

    but karma got his ass in the form of the McDs trotts.