Aug 01 2008

There is a god! Crocs stock PLUMMETS!

Published by at 11:11 am under I Don't Get It,Jerks,Why?!?

I feel like a 7 year-old on Christmas morning! Have you heard the news, the wonderful, glorious news? Crocs’ crimes against humanity may soon end thanks to their stock taking a major nosedive (-47%) after the company had to announce they wouldn’t come anywhere near their previously announced expectations for the quarter. It has been a long time since the stock market has given me a boner this hard.

I’ve already written about my disdain for these rubber pieces of shit but this morning’s gift from the universe had to be acknowledged. The Crocs CEO Ron “Satan” Snyder had this to say, “Although we made important progress reducing costs in our manufacturing and distribution platform blah blah blah fart fart fart.” Who cares?

Michael Pierce, who is a smart guy from London said “I suspect the problem at Crocs is simply that people are tired of them and do not find them as exciting as they once did.” Yes, they were once so exciting!

Another smart guy named Mitch Kummetz has the quote that made my morning, “But with the outlook as bad as it now is, the fundamentals really are that bad. We see no catalyst to reverse the trend.”

Praise Jesus!

Maddox is pretty angry too.

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4 comments so far

4 comments to “There is a god! Crocs stock PLUMMETS!”

  1. guilty noodleson 01 Aug 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Thank God my children never asked me for those things… just Sketchers that light up. There’s your next post.

    Although, doesn’t Sketchers make their own version of Crocs? Do they light up too?

  2. you a doucheon 13 Aug 2008 at 2:14 pm

    Getting joy out of others failures is the lowest honestly i don’t care for these shoes but come on man you seem like a very lonely and angry man. Maybe you think how to better your self and your surroundings rather than rejoice in putting down everything…

  3. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2008 at 2:38 pm

    This one really made me think long and hard about my path in life “you a douche.” I am lonely. I am angry. I should better myself.

    You know what, fuck it, I’m going to save Crocs! I am going out and buying as many Crocs as I can fit in my El Camino, which is a lot since it’s half car and half truck. Who’s with me? Let’s save Crocs!

  4. Bennon 30 Sep 2008 at 4:49 am

    I’m sorry to say “You Just Made My List!” but I’m not with you on this one. Crocs should just die out and be done with it. The only people that wear them any more are white trash fat people that work in nursing homes and fast food “restaurants.”