Jun 18 2009

Wilford Brimley!

Published by at 3:20 am under Jerks,Sucky TV

wilford brimley

Wilford Brimley scares the shit out of me. Actual shit comes out of me when I see him.

Why is he SO angry all the time? Although I am not elderly and do not have “diabeetus,” I still called Liberty Medical and ordered 5 years’ worth of supplies just because Wilford looked like he was going to jump out of the TV and wipe that smile off my face, punk. I probably got diabetes from all the fucking Quaker oatmeal the son-of-a-bitch instructed me to eat in the 80s. OK, I don’t think excessive amounts of oatmeal gives you diabetes, but Jesus Christ, Wilford Brimley has some sort of creepy control over me. I feel like my dad is yelling at me when I see one of his commercials.

I will admit that Wilford was a total bad-ass in John Carpenter’s remake of “The Thing.” Of course he was playing a scary old man, so it wasn’t much of a leap for him.

Wilford Brimley doing what he does best… yelling at you to buy things.

Buy some crap, and GET OFF MY LAWN!

“This little shit eats peaches & cream every blessed, god damned morning.”

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8 comments so far

8 comments to “Wilford Brimley!”

  1. Mr. Kickerson 18 Jun 2009 at 9:10 am

    What is scary about Wilford Brimley is that he has been playing an old man for like something over 50 years. I remember his line in Cocoon – “You won’t ever grow old, and you won’t ever die.”. This has come true. He may be immortal. The only way to find out would be to decapitate him.

  2. joeon 18 Jun 2009 at 9:39 am

    diabeetus guy reminds me of that brunette bitch in those lifealert commercials i wanna kick the shit out of. old cunt looks like she deserves a roundhouse kick to the dentures.

  3. rxon 18 Jun 2009 at 6:36 pm


  4. Tommyon 18 Jun 2009 at 6:51 pm

    i want to see a death match between wilford brimley and james earl jones…who would win?

  5. Jenon 18 Jun 2009 at 7:03 pm

    LOL at Mr. Kickers! There is indeed something strange about Wilford.

  6. Lindaon 10 Mar 2010 at 6:02 am

    Wilford Brimley is awesome!!!

  7. […] sound like Wilford Brimley and I think I like […]

  8. Dr. Ted Leon Diabetes Club Commercial!on 21 Apr 2011 at 3:15 am

    […] me the cranky antics and mispronunciations of Wilford Brimley any day over this grinning rube. Awwwwww, does it hurt your little finger to test your glucose […]