Jun 25 2009

God, for killing Farrah Fawcett AND Michael Jackson on the same day!

Published by at 11:55 pm under Jerks,Why?!?

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett

Geez god, what’s the deal dude? Did someone give you one of those motivational “Successories” posters and did it inspired you to make the “most of your day?” Well hooray for you tough guy, you really seized the day! Oh, and nice work on the anal cancer. It’s not bad enough to give Farrah cancer, you have to make it cancer of the anus? What a dick. Don’t even talk to me right now.

Lest ye forget what a bad-ass Michael Jackson once was, here he is laying it down at an age when you were still crapping your jammies.

And check out this A capella version of “The Love You Save” – INCREDIBLE!

And let’s not overlook Farrah Fawcett-Majors.

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23 comments so far

23 comments to “God, for killing Farrah Fawcett AND Michael Jackson on the same day!”

  1. joeon 26 Jun 2009 at 6:33 am

    i think i killed them both with my mind. your grudge lives with me, and will die with my hands around your throat.

    gently thrusting

  2. A Whale's V@ginaon 26 Jun 2009 at 7:18 am

    How soon is too soon for the MJ jokes?

    Surely if he’s cold we’d be wrong to waste this golden opportunity?

  3. Peteon 26 Jun 2009 at 7:26 am

    The best Jackson and Farrah Fawcett obits are here:



  4. A Whale's V@ginaon 26 Jun 2009 at 7:30 am

    As an example, I heard that MJ’s ghost will be visiting kids’ wards in childrens’ hospitals around the States, putting the willies up them.

    Others suggest his untimely demise may have been due to a major stroke in one of the aformentioned wards.

  5. Paul in Saint Paulon 26 Jun 2009 at 7:38 am

    Oh, Joe, such a sensitive soul, always making those personal connections to the stories.

    And Vagina, When did the MJ jokes ever really stop?

    I teach sixth grade, and when I was teaching a lesson on probability with a maze on the whiteboard, I made several chambers of torment that the kids might end up in: zombies, High School Musical running forever, carpet of scorpions, etc… I ran out of ideas and asked the kids what should be in the final chamber, and one shouted out, “Michael Jackson!” Everyone laughed (but I declined to put an accused child molester in the chamber). Bear in mind, these kids were born in the late nineties, many in Somalia and southeast Asia, well after his career ended and even after most of the tabloid scandals. Now that’s an impact that crosses generations and borders. Craziness aside, Michael Jackson was phenomenal in his day. The clips above and many others show a truly amazing performer. And Farrah… Unless you were of television viewing age in 1977, there is no way to communicate her impact on pop and kid culture. She was lovely, light, and frothy, perfect for an era when people watched a ridiculous show with a serious eye. I think both Farrah and Michael Jackson ended up faded has-beens whose later careers were limited primarily to publicized nuttiness, but in their day, they were unparalleled. I’m sorry they’re gone.

  6. A Whale's V@ginaon 26 Jun 2009 at 7:53 am

    I too would seriously label Jackson as one of the definitive artists and perfomers of his era. My first purchased album was Dangerous and of all the CDs I own his greatest hits was always a gibbon for any party, any age group, any where.

    I’m going to be honest now and admit I’ve no idea who that dead bird is, or what she ever did. Not going to say anything offensive there.

    How is this going down compared to Steve Irwin? I think I’ll miss him more than MJ flopping on his comeback tour.

    P.s. I hear there are strong odds on MJ coming back as a zombie for the O2 shows.

  7. You Just Made My List!on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:05 am

    Paul – I have always kind of avoided Michael Jackson jokes because I feel so bad for him. He was so talented but his level of fame (and the isolation that brings) along with his horrible childhood turned him into something that was barely recognizable as human. His appearance for the last decade made it easy for people to forget who he once was, literally. He was an unstoppable force in music starting around age 7 and continuing through the early 1990s. He was the most famous person in the world, in fact, based on how fast the news spread yesterday, I would say he STILL is the most famous person in the world. It’s too bad that younger generations never got to experience Michael at the top of his game.

    And, like you said, Farrah was huge too. Her impact on pop culture in the 70s was unmatched by any other female sex-symbol. Her poster was ubiquitous! I remember it vividly and I was only 5 or 6 when it was released. I was going to say she was the Pam Anderson of her day, but she was way bigger than that. She was more like a female Brad Pitt.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:07 am

    Vagina – I’m guessing you are not American, right? Farrah was THE American sex-symbol in the 70’s.

  9. A Whale's V@ginaon 26 Jun 2009 at 8:13 am

    Listy – indeed, not a yank. A swift google search reveals that Farrah was indeed a beautiful woman, albeit named after a tap, and is clearly a great loss to any who admired her and her work.

    I know who Twiggy was, but there my interest in 40 year old models comes to a crashing halt.

  10. Saraon 26 Jun 2009 at 8:16 am

    Zombie michael jackson sounds awesome! and strangely believable

    Zombie Farrah not so much

    fun fact: I know all the lyrics to “Heal the world” in sign language.

  11. You Just Made My List!on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:17 am

    Vagina – Farrah could also be a decent actress when given good material. Check her out in Robert Duvall’s masterpiece “The Apostle.” That movie is unbelievably good.

  12. You Just Made My List!on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:18 am

    Sara – That will undoubtedly be the funnest fact I learn today.

  13. You Just Made My List!on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:21 am

    Vagina – One more thing. You also have to understand how Farrah’s famous poster (see above) pushed the envelope when it was released. Still to this day, that is the most famous nipple in the world.

  14. A Whale's V@ginaon 26 Jun 2009 at 8:24 am

    I do love nipple.

  15. A Whale's V@ginaon 26 Jun 2009 at 8:26 am

    Will also order The Apostle on DVD rental.

    No doubt it won’t compare to Tranformers 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, but I’ll give it a whirl.

  16. Paul in Saint Paulon 26 Jun 2009 at 8:47 am

    I would welcome both Zombie Michael Jackson (we got a taste from the Thriller video) AND Zombie Farrah. I’d like to see them come back and eat Britney and Justin Timberlake, who I will never miss. Eat them completely so there would be no parts left for them to become zombies.

  17. You Just Made My List!on 26 Jun 2009 at 8:59 am

    Paul – No kidding, Justin Timberlake has been picking at Michael Jackson’s corpse for years now, I would love to see the tables turned.

  18. Tommy Rocheon 26 Jun 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Did anyone else listen to thriller and the vandals “the day that farrah fawcett died” yesterday? I’m just sad that I never got to see MJ live.

  19. Saraon 26 Jun 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Ok I’ve texted the first bad michael jackson dead joke

    “It has been decided that because Michael Jackson is 99% plastic anyway, his body will be melted down and made into legos so that children can play with him for a change”

  20. hodanon 26 Jun 2009 at 2:18 pm

    i’m sadden by this too.Farrah was really good in that movie the burning bed or something. As for MJ he was a musical genius!
    funfact: my dog stands on his hind legs and moves around whenever Beat It comes on.

    i hate justin timberdouche!

  21. Tommy Rocheon 26 Jun 2009 at 5:29 pm

    My friends are just happening to have a party tonight, it is a costume party themed: “creatures of the night”. We are going as zombie farrah and michael.

  22. joeon 28 Jun 2009 at 12:23 pm

    And now Billy Mays is dead too! I don’t know if I can take another death this week. Except maybe Listy, but it would only be a technicality since they won’t find the body for months, then it’ll take weeks just to piece together all the parts. I digress, I’m too distressed to talk about Listy’s perfect asshole of an 8 year old and the rupturing I’d cause it. I think I’ll go drink some orange juice.

  23. hodanon 28 Jun 2009 at 11:06 pm

    the shamwow guy and his hooker friend was behind it! poor Billy.RIP