Jun 29 2009
God, for killing Billy Mays!
What the fuck?!? God is on a killing spree and for once in my life I am happy I’m NOT a famous. Assuming God likes to kill celebrities in 3′s, I guess we should be prepared to lose 2 more this week for a total of 6 in about a week! Who knows if he will even stop there, he might clear out all of Hollywood, which would be a disaster for this guy’s career. What did Billy Mays ever do to you, God? What is up your holy ass?
I loved Billy Mays, and I don’t mean that in a mocking way. For as long as I can remember I have been fascinated with pitchmen (not the show, the profession). In college I even video taped my favorite infomercial (carnauba car wax) so I could watch it over and over. Yeah, I was THAT cool in college.
A good pitchman can literally hypnotize you into thinking you are an idiot for not already owning kitchen knives that can cut a car in half. Billy Mays was one of my all-time favorites and I’m sad we will no longer be treated to his trademark “Hi, Billy Mays here…” yelled at a volume loud enough to make your hair move a little. And the beard, fuck, I’m going to miss that beard.
UPDATE: God had a busy weekend but he found time to also kill Fred Travalena.
That one is good. But try this one on for size. Same dudes i think:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO7U7FDfOlo
well at least heaven is little cleaner now.
he’s in hell.
Hodan, If heaven could be whiter Billy would know how
@joe, then Hell is whole lot cleaner now.heaven already has the original Mr. Clean.
mr. clean used to send naked christmas card pictures to my girlfriend’s parents
You’re next, Listy.
Seriously, why is everyone threatening to rape and/or kill me lately?
And Karl Malden’s gone, apparently. Man, it’s a bad week to be a celebrity.