Jun 30 2009

People who wait until the last second to put their turn signals on!

Published by at 3:35 am under Jerks

red lights

These assholes are the worst people on the planet. They do not deserve to share the oxygen we breathe. They are worse than serial killers, they are worse than Hitler.

These people pull up to a red light in the left lane of an intersection without a left turn lane. You feel safe and cozy about pulling up behind them because they are obviously not turning left. I mean how could they POSSIBLY be turning when their blinkers are off? You are so happy with your lane choice that you crank up the Creed song on the radio and fucking rock the fuck out! Life is good. Ding, the light turns green but wait, what is that? Suddenly, without warning these fuckfaces casually turn on their left turn signal and your life will never be the same.

Listen up dicks, turn your blinker on BEFORE you get to the intersection! Your turn signal is there to tell people “Hey, I’m going to be turning in the future” not “Hey, I’m turning NOW!” Waiting to pop that son-of-a-bitch on when the light turns green is pointless and I hate you.

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17 comments so far

17 comments to “People who wait until the last second to put their turn signals on!”

  1. jasonon 30 Jun 2009 at 5:30 am

    I feel your pain Listy especially when, as you said, there isn’t a turn lane and there is a shit ton of oncoming traffic so there is no fucking way in hell you’re going anywhere soon. As you know I live in SW Florida, the place old people go, and here I’ve learned to change my driving style. Here I’m really glad to see any signal. A signal means at least someone in the vehicle knows its not VE Day and we haven’t just defeated the Germans. More often than not they don’t use signals as this would mean they would have to release the death grip on the steering wheel. I am also happy to see a signal because at least then they have let me know they are about to change lanes instead of discovering their intent by looking out my passenger window and seeing some geratric that is blissfully unaware of the rest of the people on the road and especially unaware of ME IN THE SPACE he/she is trying to move their vehicle into.

  2. joeon 30 Jun 2009 at 7:13 am

    If I could blow shit up with my mind, the world would be filled with people who can drive. I hate it when EVERYBODY tries to merge onto a highway going 45 mpfh and have to wait for other people, who are all dicks, to let them on, instead of accelerating to the highway speed and picking a spot to slide in, which in theory is apparently fucking impossible since nobody here has the sense to try it out.

    Oh and rape/kill/sodomy etc etc.

  3. Saraon 30 Jun 2009 at 7:35 am

    I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!

    I’m talking to YOU asshole who I waited forever to pass so I could FINALY make a left out onto a busy road. Oh thank god hear he comes and it looks like I’ll have a quick break between the next car…..wait…..why..why are you slowing down??! DAMN YOU!! YOU TRICKED ME!!

    There is a magic wand right by your hand that tells people where your going and its called A FUCKING TURN SIGNAL

  4. SanFranon 30 Jun 2009 at 8:19 am

    I thought this was a San Francisco-based scourge… Sure, it happens everywhere, but it seems to be the norm here…

    In fact, you can pretty much bank on the fact that blinkers won’t be used, or if they are, at the last possible millisecond.

    Of course, laying on the horn isn’t so effective after you get shot for doing so.

  5. A Whale's V@ginaon 30 Jun 2009 at 9:58 am

    You should get some roundabouts.

  6. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2009 at 11:28 am

    Whale – We have a few roundabouts here but it’s a disaster because most drivers here are not used to them. Plus, every driver in America now texts the ENTIRE time they drive. They don’t have the attention span for complicated things like turning.

  7. nickion 30 Jun 2009 at 1:35 pm

    Oh no,.. you didn’t say “crank up the Creed song on the radio” did you? Now you’re on my list! Creed = Fail
    But you are spot on regarding the assclowns who don’t put on the blinker til the last second. I’m pretty sure if I lived anywhere else, I would have been shot by now when they hear the names I call them.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2009 at 1:42 pm

    Nicki – Please be aware “cranking up the Creed” is an obvious joke, at least I hoped it was.

  9. FFAFon 30 Jun 2009 at 1:44 pm

    @nicki – pretty sure he’s being sarcastic about Creed.

    Good call though, we have tolls on the highway here that you can go 35 mph through. Everyday I get stuck behind someone who feels the need to 6 mph. That one kills me.

  10. CreatureofHabiton 01 Jul 2009 at 6:03 am

    Joe, you’d hate getting on the highway in MA. They on ramps ALL have either yield signs or stop signs. It’s an absolute fascination of mine, a state mandated death trap. If it’s a yield sign, I blow through it and accelerate as my good midwestern values have taught me. Sigh.

    Don’t get me started on turn signals…. easiest thing in the world to do and yet lazy fuckers just fully disregard the concept.

  11. CreatureofHabiton 01 Jul 2009 at 6:04 am

    “The” on ramps…. not “they” on ramps. No caffeine in the system yet.

  12. blades runneron 02 Jul 2009 at 3:59 pm

    Yeah, it sucks to be on the receiving end of the last minute turn signal, but it’s my favorite passive aggressive move against someone who is driving like a jerk behind me.

    Nothing is more entertaining than watching a douche struggle to get out from behind my van after lazily hitting the turn signal once the light has gone green and then eventually watching them roar off in a blaze of profanity. Gives me a good laugh every time.

  13. nickion 02 Jul 2009 at 8:18 pm

    Hmm guess I didn’t pick up the blatant obviousness of the creed joke. Usually my sarcasm detection is spot on.

  14. You Just Made My List!on 03 Jul 2009 at 8:14 am

    Nicki – You are forgiven, but please never think I listen to Creed again.

  15. nickion 03 Jul 2009 at 12:49 pm

    No worries, I think we’re all in agreement now that any mention of Creed is usually in a joking tone and anyone who actually does listen to them probably shouldn’t be allowed to operate machinery, or procreate, or breathe really. It’ll just make things easier.

  16. Lucason 11 Apr 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Some people say I drive like an asshole. Oh, you thought there would be more to that sentence? Nope, no more. That’s just a statement. As a matter of fact, recent studies (professional studies, not just some kid in a rice-burner driving the same stretch of road day & night) have proven that traffic flows the smoothest when approximately 40% of vehicles drive like “assholes”.

    Now, as an asshole driver, I hate the 4 kinds of douchebag speeders: 1) The “bungee cord speeder” – I sit in front of you and repeatedly speed up & slow back down to the speed limit to keep you from passing me any time you get close to my vehicle. 2) The “peer pressure speeder” – I’ll drive 100 mph when there are no other cars around, but as soon as I come up next to a car in the other lane I have to slow down and pace them for 5 miles because compared to them I look like I was driving way to fast. 3) The “As fast as the guy who passed me speeder” – I do 10 miles under the limit until some jerk passes me & then I’ll ride his ass like Adam Lambert & Clay Aiken no matter how fast he’s driving. 4) The “sewing speeder” – I prefer to speed in heavy traffic so I can thread the needle in my little rice burner with increasingly small gaps between vehicles; sometimes crossing 4 lanes of traffic at once with no blinker so that I can arrive at my destination 12 seconds sooner.

  17. sim1on 11 Oct 2010 at 8:01 am

    I hate turn signals. I feel it only gives the Russian spies who are tracking me the ability to more easily follow.