Jul 06 2009
FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF! FUCK OFFFFFF!
The internet isn’t big enough for the number of times I want to say FUCK YOU to the world of slam poetry. Just the thought of these losers sends a chill through my body. What is the point of this bullshit and why ARE-THEY-ALWAYS-YELLING?
Yelling isn’t the only thing you can count on when watching these asswipes slam poetry into your face. You can also expect to see a lot of pseudo hip hop hand gestures. These bent wrists and mangled fingers do not only belong to black “poets” dressed all hip hoppy, oh no my friend, you will see plenty of overweight white chicks in Tina Fey glasses popping and locking like they are Flavor Flav at the BET Awards®.
And what is with that annoying cadence they all use? It’s hard to describe in print, but it goes something like this…
“yelling yelling yelling quickly yelling bullshit… quiet word… soft word… yelling more bullshit yelling bullshit bullshit bullshit… quiet word”
I can’t take anymore of this. Here, try to watch this without killing yourself.
This poem is titled “Seen Not Heard.” God, I wish.
All you wannabe slam poets out there need to throw in the towel because nobody rips spoken word a new asshole like motherfucking Precious Taft!