Jul 09 2009

Skydive weddings!

Published by at 3:30 am under Jerks,Why?!?

skydive wedding

Stop the madness! Just get married without trying to prove to everyone that you are “the most funnest, kickass couple in Terre Haute, Indiana and all of the surrounding Wabash Valley!” Stop trying to be the last story on the local news. The last story on the news is reserved for important stories, like the various activities of kittens and the kooky places they get stuck.

Is it wrong that 1% of me wants to see one of these “weddings” end in tragedy? That seems wrong. Maybe not tragedy, but is it too much to ask for a couple of broken legs that totally ruin their Six Flags honeymoon? I bet if you broke both legs during your skydive wedding, the local news would do the story before the sports.

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19 comments so far

19 comments to “Skydive weddings!”

  1. jasonon 09 Jul 2009 at 5:34 am

    I don’t know, call me crazy, but I imagine weddings to be this serious occasion in which two people declare/affirm their love and devotion for one another. It doesn’t have to be a funeral but I think it should be taken seriously. How serious can someone take your declaration when you made it while falling at 120mph wearing a pink spandex outfit?

    Whatever happened to just saying I love you and take you to be my lawful wedded husband/wife? Why do some people need to skydive or scuba dive to properly express this commitment?

  2. Xinaon 09 Jul 2009 at 6:31 am

    Is it wrong that 1% of me kind of wants every wedding to end with a couple of broken legs?

    What can I say? I’m a true romantic.

  3. Joeon 09 Jul 2009 at 7:44 am

    fuck that shit. anal while falling. people’d pay to see it.

  4. FFAFon 09 Jul 2009 at 7:49 am

    “like the various activities of kittens and the kooky places they get stuck.”

    This makes my day, thanks Listy!

  5. You Just Made My List!on 09 Jul 2009 at 7:58 am

    Jason – I think it’s because everyone thinks they are the star of their own reality show now. People seem to be incredibly starved for attention these days.

    Xina – Funny! Nice to see you back.

    Joe – Oh Joe, you never fail to make me think “today might be the day Joe kills me.”

    FFAF – You are welcome. I am very funny.

  6. Paul in St. Paulon 09 Jul 2009 at 10:41 am

    I think now is the appropriate time for both bride and groom to be professionally made up to look exactly like Michael Jackson – from the Bad era – to exchange their vows in an otherwise solemn service. Think of the kiss!

  7. T-Ravon 09 Jul 2009 at 10:45 am

    Yeah,I hate these as well,and for some reason,I hate weddings on beaches,too.It is kinda like seeing Elton John play the bass…unnatural!

  8. SanFranon 09 Jul 2009 at 11:23 am

    After more or less a month away, I’m back, mother fuckers!!!

    Skydiving: why would anybody want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane to begin with? I mean, marriage is risky enough, statistically speaking, right?

    With that being said, I’d personally be more inclined to skydive than bungie jump, for whatever reason.

    Anyhow, fuck off.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 09 Jul 2009 at 11:50 am

    Hey SanFran, welcome back fuckface!

  10. Munchieson 10 Jul 2009 at 3:35 am

    Theme weddings are never a good idea.

    Anytime people put more effort into planning the wedding event than they plan on putting into the actual marriage, you know it isn’t going to end well.

  11. […] that ride around on tall bikes, propose marriage in wacky ways and get married in some bullshit underwater wedding. You may think I am simply against fun. You are an idiot. I like fun, but swimming in a frozen lake […]

  12. skygirlon 02 May 2010 at 11:25 am

    Well, coming from a professional skydiver I understand your ignorance. Until you jump and learn to jump you have no understanding of safety statistics and the love skydivers have for their hobby. Most people just don’t have the courage to jump out of an airplane! Out of 2 million skydives a year there are about 20 deaths. Do your math Wuffo!

  13. You Just Made My List!on 02 May 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Skygirl – Can you read or has all that wind hitting you in the face scrambled your tiny brain? At what point did I criticize skydiving? I would think you could have spent 30 seconds reading the two SHORT paragraphs above and figured out that I’m talking about people who get married while skydiving, you dolt.

    Learn how to read, Wuffo!

  14. SkyPigon 27 Jun 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Yes, marriage is a serious business. People should have to have their marriages prearranged by their parents, with their partners chosen for them. That’s the orderly, predictable way to do them. Then you know who your spouse will be while you’re still a teenager. No one should be allowed to do anything differently, or to express their joy together in unique ways. Such people have way too much fun to getting married, because marriage ain’t about fun. The world is too full of people running around having fun. Get married, have kids, work all your life ’till you die. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Get with the program, people!

  15. Skydudeon 27 Jun 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Yeah, It’s just so damn annoying when people get married while doing something that they love to do, something they do every weekend together and quite possibly met each other doing.

    Maybe if your sick of seeing stupid stories you should stop watching the news.

  16. You Just Made My List!on 27 Jun 2011 at 10:10 pm

    Yeah, you are a REAL original and super wacky fun person because you got married while skydiving. Sky nerds.

  17. hooknifeon 28 Jun 2011 at 3:44 pm

    The underlying irony here is you claiming they had a skydiving wedding because they are attention whores, yet you feel the need to run this blog.

  18. You are allon 28 Jun 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Fucking idiots. Read all these posts. You make humans look like a sad bunch of fucks. (except the skydivers… the ones not starting issues with other peoples personal choices.) Again, you are all fucking idiots.


    Too bad :,(
    So sad.
    I’m ending, not starting. You fuck.. yeah, you.

    If ya reply to this, you are admitting that you are a fuckin idiot. You lose. Ya Fuck.

  19. You Just Made My List!on 28 Jun 2011 at 6:21 pm

    Hook – So incredibly ironic.

    You – I’m sorry our childish ramblings were not up to par with your obvious mastery of the English language.

    (Man, all these skydive wedding enthusiasts are such a sensitive bunch)