Aug 24 2009

“Art” cars!

Published by at 3:39 am under I Don't Get It,Jerks,Why?!?

art car

Yeah, I know, why can’t I just enjoy wacky art cars like everyone else? Shut up hippie, don’t you have some armpits to not wash?

While you are excitedly posing for a photo with these cluster fucks, I shoot hate lasers out of my eyes at you. You can’t feel it, but from my point-of-view, it’s pretty devastating. I can’t decide who I hate more, you for liking these dumb cars, or the hippie turd who spent the last 5 years gluing doll heads and action figures to his mom’s car when he could have used that time showering. It’s such a sad cry for attention, even more so than blogging.

The thing is, there is no art involved in the creation of an art car. Sticking dirty toys to something is not art. These lazy hippies can’t even come up with an idea more original than doll heads and Happy Meal toys. Does anyone like hippies? I don’t even think hippies like hippies.

I’m tired. This post sucked. It sucked, but not as much as art cars, you hippie.

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14 comments so far

14 comments to ““Art” cars!”

  1. Jeffon 24 Aug 2009 at 5:35 am

    And what about art-bikes?

    I can almost imagine you riding that thing around town…

  2. Neishon 24 Aug 2009 at 7:16 am

    Oh come on, these cars are like playing ‘Where’s Waldo’. I’m sure you got something againt Waldo too but just sit back and enjoy the atrocity.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 24 Aug 2009 at 8:21 am


  4. SanFranon 24 Aug 2009 at 11:26 am

    There was an “art car” I used to see at the Alewife “T” station outside of Boston in the parking garage from time to time.. It was like some old Toyota Tercel or something, but the thing was – there was a box on the back, with instructions… Inside the box were little alcohol wipes and a few tubes of fast-acting epoxy / crazy glue.

    You could bring your own stupid fucking shit and glue it on the car, the only request being not on the windows or lights. It was fun to watch it evolve over the course of a few years.

    I never contributed though. I like to keep my doll heads in their special place under my bed for those special times.

  5. hodanon 24 Aug 2009 at 12:10 pm

    only attention whores drive these sort of cars. if I saw one in my neighborhood, I’d totally let my dog piss on it.

  6. Joeon 24 Aug 2009 at 1:35 pm


    yea, bitch.

  7. Paul in Saint Paulon 24 Aug 2009 at 6:00 pm

    I love art car parades, but art cars get tired with everyday use. The lizard car in Minneapolis is an institution.

  8. Munchieson 24 Aug 2009 at 8:45 pm

    Damn you! I’ve gone my entire life without ever knowing these junk heaps existed – I don’t think we have them in Seattle. Where ever you live must be a super creepy place.

  9. SanFranon 24 Aug 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Oh! Remember those pleather E.T. dolls, back in the day? Well, probably a good ten years ago, in the middle of winter, on the Expressway (hardly) in Boston, lashed to the grille of a contractor’s box-van, was one of these pitiful E.T. dolls, and it was completely encapsulated in road grime and slush and ice and whatever else is on the roads in Boston… I still have visions of those giant blue eyes and that stupid smirk E.T. always wore peeking through the shit-colored schmeg.

    It was glorious – and unfortunately, long before digital cameras. Not art, but a practical application for a doll.

  10. T.J.on 25 Aug 2009 at 10:44 am

    Just like I hate bumper stickers,I hate these assholes as well.These people have this “look at me” attitude that they have to desecrate their crappy car to get people to notice them.Also,it’s not art,it’s a god damn eyesore.

  11. Reneeon 08 Jul 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Hey, fuck you. This is a piece of art. Get the fuck over it, and let’s see you do something as creative, bitch.

  12. Reneeon 08 Jul 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Although, I’ll admit, the leg and the babydolls are creepy. Maybe they went a little overboard, but you have to admit, there are some tripped out cars that actually look kinda awesome. As long as they’re not like crazy decked out.

  13. You Just Made My List!on 10 Jul 2011 at 9:11 pm

    Renee – Get a grip on yourself woman!

  14. […] I could rant about it, but do I really need to?  There would a a Herbie/Love Bug joke, pointing out that putting them on a BMW decreases the value/classiness of the car, maybe a joke about truck nuts & just maybe a reference to the movie Cars even though I’ve never seen it.  Maybe even a joke about the dude I saw on My Strange Addiction who makes love to his car for the crowd who likes it blue.  Maybe even an Optimus Prime humping your car joke.  I have finally found something more annoying than flags on cars & more decorative than the mysterious stickermobile.  If you’re going to glue stupid stuff to your car, go all the way. […]