Aug 25 2009

Giant food!

Published by at 3:30 am under I Don't Get It,Jerks,Why?!?

giant cheeseburger

We get it, you’re awesome, you can eat a giant cheeseburger in front of a crowd of none. You have certainly earned the right to have your Polaroid up on the wall of sadness, next to the rest of the fat underachievers. What’s wrong, mommy and daddy didn’t buy you that BMX bike you always wanted? Were you stuck riding that girlie, yellow Schwinn Stingray to school while the rest of your friends had kickass, diamond frame dirt bikes? Did you try to camouflage your gay bike to look more BMX with a new seat, pads and a racing number? Did you NEVER get that BMX bike even though your parents could have totally afforded it because your dad was an international banker and your mom worked part-time in a gourmet cooking store and you lived in a nice middle-class home in a nice community? Are you now almost 40 years old but you toy with the idea of buying a diamond frame BMX bike just so you can ride it to your dad’s condo in Miami where you will pedal in circles on the sidewalk screaming “How you like me now old man? Look at your little BMXer now Daddy!”

Oh wait, that’s me.

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10 comments so far

10 comments to “Giant food!”

  1. Peteon 25 Aug 2009 at 6:08 am

    Giant food is also wasteful. No reasonable person could, or should, eat these giant portions all at once. You’ve got to be some kind of douche to spend twenty bucks on a burger you know you won’t finish. That’s food abuse, and it’s disrespectful to the millions all over the world who go without, and thousands of whom will frickin’ die today because they don’t get to eat the scraps these a-holes are throwing away.

  2. Neishon 25 Aug 2009 at 6:41 am

    Thanks for reality-ing it up Pete. Now feel obligated to adopt a child…

  3. Joeon 25 Aug 2009 at 8:06 am

    i like giant food it tatses better than normal food and its funny at the same time so i like it plus what is life without challenges u must beat the shit out of yourself sometimes so when u feel good it feels better when u eat big stuff it is good for u and stuff

  4. SanFranon 25 Aug 2009 at 9:08 am

    I think gigantic food challenges must be a uniquely-American experience… no?

    certainly seems like it. Goes along well with the SUV, 10,000 sq ft homes in the desert, sucking water from the mountains, all-you-can-eat buffets, and Vegas in general.

    Joe: that’s an awesome attempt at writing like a teenager or 20-something I appreciate the lack of punctuation and think you should always post things like that because it will really like totally get your point across more better and stuff.

  5. Joeon 25 Aug 2009 at 10:24 am

    im fresh out of teen status and i feel like expressing my displeasure with punctuation becuz it was invented to keep the black man down and guessing what all the little lines mean in all the different places and stuff its very confusing especially when their great great grandparents was slaves and not smart cuz they all dropped out to work in the fields well that was dumb they shouldve stayed in school to learn and stuff but thats what they get now they dont know the difference between a comma and a bleeding vagina except one is necessary for life and the other one is attached to some dumb bitch and stuff u know? LOL!

  6. Peteon 25 Aug 2009 at 11:26 am

    Neish 🙂

  7. Xinaon 25 Aug 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Ya know Listy, my boyfriend was a pro BMX rider. If you really want that hot bike I’m sure he could hook you up with something sweet!

  8. You Just Made My List!on 25 Aug 2009 at 2:07 pm

    Xina – You are like the Make a Wish Foundation!

  9. hodanon 25 Aug 2009 at 3:26 pm

    gluttony is something we can all do without.

  10. Munchieson 25 Aug 2009 at 7:33 pm

    But how do you feel about mini-food?