Sep 16 2009

Jay Leno!

Published by at 3:32 am under Jerks,Sucky TV

jay leno sucks

Can you please explain to me how this fat face had the highest rated show on late night television?

When I say I don’t understand Jay Leno’s popularity I mean I literally can’t comprehend it in exactly the same way I will never be able to wrap my head around the creation of the universe or the musical stylings of Nickelback. I mean, I can even understand the popularity of Carrot Top! The Top glues a bicycle horn to a toilet seat, gives it a funny name and all of us in the audience shake our heads and think “how does that sum’bitch come up with this stuff?” Then we literally laugh so hard our NASCAR hats fly off our heads on to the Skoal spit covered floor. But Jay Leno? What the fucking fuck?

And while you’re at it Jay, can you stop buying every car and motorcycle on the planet? We get it, you are rich on an inconceivable level and your garage is worth more than the lives of my entire family. You win.

Speaking of Jay Leno and Kanye West… I’m sure most of you have heard the audio of Obama calling Kanye a jackass but it is so worth listening to again. Obama is the God damn man and this is hilarious.

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17 comments so far

17 comments to “Jay Leno!”

  1. ben droveron 16 Sep 2009 at 6:37 am

    Jay Leno is popular because of his big chin, and ladies love a big chin. He collects cars. Enough said. Toss in the ability to read funny q-cards and wave his hands around, and you are talking sweet like american pie. His interviews stretch deep into his guest’s heart and squeeze at their aorta to bring out their best response to his scripted, obvious questions…I love to hate it. Who doesn’t like to see a rapper cry on TV? Holla! And I can appreciate Kanye West’s music, but I think he has some interior issues that need addressing. To hear Obama call him a jackass is suited, because he acts like one at EVERY awards show.

    Discuss amonst yourselves, go.

  2. Saraon 16 Sep 2009 at 7:17 am

    Horn glued to toilet seat…..well thats how you honk when ya’ll pass gas!!

  3. Peteon 16 Sep 2009 at 7:22 am

    Obama shouldn’t feel the need to apologize or ask to be “cut some slack” for what he said, because what he said was right. Kanye was a rude jackass, not that I think the VMA awards mean anything, substantially.

  4. You Just Made My List!on 16 Sep 2009 at 10:06 am

    I hope Obama doesn’t apologize. Must feel pretty shitty to have the fucking PRESIDENT call you a jackass!

  5. Jeffon 16 Sep 2009 at 10:07 am

    Yeaaaah, maybe when Obama isn’t busy worrying about Kanye West’s speech at the MTV Video Music awards he could possibly get around to like, I dunno, actually giving details about the health reform that’s supposed to be so goddamned important?

    It’s like just a suggestion, y’know…

  6. You Just Made My List!on 16 Sep 2009 at 10:11 am

    Jeff – You are SERIOUSLY INSANE! They guy makes a 3 second comment while waiting to be interviewed and somehow that means he’s not working hard on health care? Come on, just stop already. Have you ever agreed with anything, ever?

  7. Jeffon 16 Sep 2009 at 10:26 am

    Y’know I have a menial job and I bet you that my colleagues, boss, and just about anyone I can find doesn’t have an opinion about Kanye Whateverthefuck said on some meaningless ‘awards’ show (I mean who over the age of 16 cares about an award anyway?)

    But our president is there front and center with his views. Oh yes siree, he’s mad at Kanye and he’s gonna let people know about it.

    Is nothing sacred?

  8. You Just Made My List!on 16 Sep 2009 at 10:35 am

    Jeff – Everyone has opinions about these news stories, it’s just part of life. For example, here you are sharing your opinion on the subject. Believe me, I HATE that I know the details of the “incident” but that’s just the way it goes, unless you live in a box. You are the most cynical person I have ever met. You make me look like Mr. Rogers.

  9. rachelon 16 Sep 2009 at 10:46 am

    Jay Leno- Never been funny a day in his life. and he laughs at his own jokes.

    Kanye- still a turd, even after Southpark ripped him a new one.

    Now let’s get Conan O’Brien and Barack Obama together, and let the funny shit fly!!

  10. Jeffon 16 Sep 2009 at 10:47 am

    But I don’t understand what happened or why it was good or bad except that you wrote about it. So yeah, mea culpa, I read your blog and kinda got the gist of it and can spew some crap about Kanye and (I honestly can’t remember her name), sure.

    But I’m not the goddamned president. To do the incredibly difficult job of managing the insanity that is now our country, we need a grown-up who doesn’t read blogs, twitter, or even let Kanye West enter their lexicon. Someone ‘cool’ just isn’t going to make it – and deep down you know that.

  11. You Just Made My List!on 16 Sep 2009 at 10:56 am

    Jeff – Let’s not forget that Obama is also a father of two young girls. I actually would MUCH rather have a president who knows a little bit about what is going on in the world, even if it is pop culture, than a person who is overly isolated from the rest of us. You can’t open a newspaper or watch the TV without seeing the Kanye incident, so the fact that our President has a basic knowledge of the story is not surprising. I agree, it is not real news and I would rather see the press get this excited about the wars we are fighting, but the fact that Obama knows of the Kanye West thing is not in any way an indication that he is slacking.

    I know you know what I’m saying and I know you secretly agree!

  12. Neishon 16 Sep 2009 at 11:13 am

    Jeff- Yeah, after 8 years of preschool time and extended vacations, no wonder you’re so eager for someone who like, actually works. I kid I kid. Sorta.

    But in Obama, he is a role model. He’s president and a hard working man, a father, and a husband and he takes the occasional pause to enjoy his life. And if Americans can learn one thing from him is how to find balance in life while still being dedicated. You cannot expect any human being to be on task for a straight 4 years, he’d burn out in 6 months.

  13. hodanon 16 Sep 2009 at 6:57 pm

    i have never watched the jay leno show. in fact i don’t even watch late night talk shows. they all come on when Metalocalypse is on.No thanks! not gonna miss Metalocalypse for that shit,even thought show is like 10 minutes. 😀

    oh and Obama is cool.if only he called Glenn Beck a retard, Bill O’reilly a rapist and joe wilson a can only dream…

  14. Amandaon 17 Sep 2009 at 1:37 am

    I was so psyched that Leno was going to be retiring from late night, which I assumed meant TV in general for some reason. Imagine how disappointed I was when I flipped passed his new show which is basically his old show only earlier. I thought I’d only have to randomly see him on TV when TMZ would break the news of him and his chin driving around in one of his bajillion cars.

    Letterman > all other late night hosts.

  15. Yours Trulyon 17 Sep 2009 at 5:20 am

    Holy shit, FINALLY there’s someone else who knows what Metalocalypse is. Hodan, I can tell you have good taste.

    Anyway, fuck Jay Leno and his huge chin. That chin killed Kenny in the first season of South Park.

  16. Christineon 17 Sep 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Jay Leno, from all I’ve heard, seems like a nice guy–a talentless hack–but a nice guy, nonetheless, and someone my parents find hilarious. I don’t get why he’s funny in the same way I don’t get how “Two and a Half Men” is funny but, whatever.

    I’m less angry about Leno’s success than I am about someone like Jimmy Fallon. That guy seems like a total douche. He’s like the David Spade of this decade.

  17. Jan Watton 30 Oct 2009 at 9:28 pm

    Jay lost me tonight with his “joke” about why fat little girls all want to dress up as princesses. Any moms or dads out there? Any grammas or grampas? Anyone who knows a precious little girl? they are all princesses. jay is a @%!& for stooping this low. I would dare him to look in the face of a little girl and tell her she is not a princess. One die-hard fan down…maybe he has plenty.