Sep 23 2009

Filene’s Basement “Running of the Brides!”

Published by at 3:12 am under I Don't Get It,Jerks

Filene's Basement running of the brides

“Bride down. Trample her! KILL HER!”

I may have to drink about 30 beers to get through this one. There is nothing that would make me act like these cackling hens. These psychos run around like they have flies buzzing around their eyes and some lifesaving U.N. helicopter is hovering above, dropping rice and water. You could fill a room with amazing FREE vintage guitars and I would STILL refuse to scream and claw my way over my fellow man to get one.

Shouldn’t buying a wedding dress be a nice, calm, sweet memory to be shared with your mother and a few close friends? Aren’t you supposed to sip Champagne and talk about your periods? Instead, these idiots put their little matching outfits on (annoying) and go Lord of the Flies all over each other. I don’t care if acting like a plundering pirate saves you a few hundred dollars, nothing is worth demeaning yourself like this.

I’m going to say this at the risk of offending all the women who are reading this, but this clip of the “Running of the Brides” is like an instructional video for how to make a guy’s balls shrink up into his body, forever. I’m just being honest here ladies, it’s shit like this that makes guys occasionally want to be as far away from you as possible. Not YOU personally, I’m talking about these assholes. Just watch the women in the bottom left corner as they selfishly guard their giant pile of dresses like a pack of wolves. CLASSY! Hey, where did my balls go?

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20 comments so far

20 comments to “Filene’s Basement “Running of the Brides!””

  1. Saraon 23 Sep 2009 at 7:29 am

    wtf?! Is this shit free? I like the one chick with the engagement ring baloon (ok like 10 chicks have the same baloon )but the one in the bottom right corner who has it stuck on a rack and she’s just dragging it ramming other brides.

    Thank god I eloped.

  2. guilty noodleson 23 Sep 2009 at 8:36 am

    I eloped too, but only b/c this was my clientele. I had to deal with these crazed rabid bitches on a daily basis. These women would harass me b/c the ink color on their menu cards and invites didn’t match EXACTLY and then they would sob on my shoulder about how they just wanted their day to be “perfect” and how planning a wedding is “just so hard”.

    Give me a fucking break.

  3. guilty noodleson 23 Sep 2009 at 8:40 am

    I like how the women would circle around the piles of dresses and guard them.

    Oh, and I wore something out of my closet just so I wouldn’t have to deal with shit like that.

  4. Neishon 23 Sep 2009 at 9:03 am

    I’m scared O.o

  5. hodanon 23 Sep 2009 at 9:14 am

    see that gay people! do you wanna get involved in marriage now?!

  6. Jonathanon 23 Sep 2009 at 9:53 am

    Why do women do stupid shit like this? Why do they turn into raving lunatic idiots for fucking wedding dresses? Does there coupling instinct override their sanity and decency?

    There is nothing on this earth that would make me CAMP OUT and then fly into a Wookiee rage like these broads.

  7. rachelon 23 Sep 2009 at 9:53 am

    this made me want to throw up. it is reminiscent of how all those people trampled that guy to death at Wal-Mart last Christmas. it’s not just women that are the problem. it’s ASSHOLES.

  8. Jonathanon 23 Sep 2009 at 9:54 am

    SHIT!! I meant “their coupling instinct”! These dummies have ruined my immaculate spelling!!

  9. guilty noodleson 23 Sep 2009 at 11:24 am

    LMFAO, hodan.

  10. Jacobon 23 Sep 2009 at 11:49 am

    They should all be given box cutters

  11. Tommyon 23 Sep 2009 at 11:54 am

    Jonathan: That wasn’t a spelling mistake, it was a grammatical one.
    LISTER: I really don’t get it. Did I need sound? When the camera started to shake I was hoping it was an earthquake and next thing….1000 dead brides. Then I thought, “They should light the place on fire and lock the doors”. That’d be some great TV!

  12. You Just Made My List!on 23 Sep 2009 at 12:14 pm

    Sara – No these dresses are not free, it’s just some crappy sale.

    Hodan – I bet some gay men out there could give these bitches a run for their money. There would be some brides with black eyes.

    Jonathan – “Wookiee rage” – nice!

    Jacob – A fight to the death for weeding dresses would be a great underground sport for rappers and football players to get involved in.

    Tommy – No sound needed, just put on some Motorhead and enjoy.

  13. SanFranon 23 Sep 2009 at 1:28 pm

    OK, I’m gonna just come out and say what most of you are probably already thinking:

    people like this are CUNTS, be they male or female.

  14. You Just Made My List!on 23 Sep 2009 at 2:02 pm

    The Cuntiest!

  15. RBoneon 23 Sep 2009 at 2:11 pm

    HOAX. None of these bitches are getting married. Ever.

  16. Saraon 23 Sep 2009 at 2:14 pm

    Wow Motor head and box cutters would make this a bitchin’ extreme game show.

    They could put it on that new Bridal TV Channel…yea thats right, not just a half our of “bridezillas” not just a week long lifetime marathon of “Wedding Story” but A WHOLE CANNEL !!
    to bad I only get two channels….my loss

  17. Peteon 24 Sep 2009 at 7:41 am

    It’s just further proof that marriage and weddings are all about the chick, and for the chick. It’s her one big day to play princess.

    Guys could care less. Marriage is something guys simply agree to, or settle for, or do because they feel they have to or others expect them to. Everybody knows it.

  18. Jonathanon 24 Sep 2009 at 11:02 am

    Pete – AMEN, BROTHER!! Just don’t let my wife see this comment.

    I don’t even understand what’s going on in the video. It looks like the five-minute free-for-all that Toys R’ Us gave as a contest prize when I was a kid. Are these harpies just piling up every dress they can grab, and then trying them on? What the FUUUUUCKK???

  19. arbitr0non 26 Jan 2010 at 4:45 pm

    does this remind anyone else of the time lapse videos that show ants devouring a mouse’s carcass?

  20. Alessaon 21 Feb 2010 at 9:53 pm

    Wow, if I were a man and my fiancee did one of these, I’d call the marriage off. Nobody I’d want to spend the rest of my life with would go this bat-shit insane over a sale on wedding dresses.