Oct 13 2009

Centipedes!

Published by at 3:00 am under Jerks,Why?!?

huge house centipede

I’m going to throw up.

God really fucked up when he created the centipede. I mean what the hell was he thinking? If his intention was to create an insect so creepy that it could cause me to piss my pants every time I see one, then bravo God, you win! There is only one thing worse than a living centipede, and that’s a freshly killed centipede. It’s not enough that they look like an 8th grade mustache scooting across your wall when they are alive, but they somehow manage to look even more disgusting when dead with their twitching, hairy legs.

Way to go God, you dick.

Be Sociable, Share!

26 comments so far

26 comments to “Centipedes!”

  1. Peteon 13 Oct 2009 at 7:51 am

    That’s not a centipede; that’s a silverfish, and yeah, they’re creepy. I get ’em in my basement. They prefer the darkness, so I’ve learned to act like they’re not there and just go about my business.

  2. 8bitheroon 13 Oct 2009 at 8:54 am

    Pete: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silverfish

    Pictured is a “House Centipede” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scutigera_coleoptrata). I recently moved and my new town house has a few of them. I don’t mind, though, because they eat spiders and insects.

  3. calebon 13 Oct 2009 at 9:29 am

    i totally agree. i call these “demon bugs”. once one crawled across my chest when i was sleeping. i instantly grabbed it and threw it across the room and i could actually hear it hit the wall.

    the fact that they move so fast creeps me out too. they are the devil’s spawn for sure.

  4. Joeon 13 Oct 2009 at 9:48 am

    lets be afraid of something 100x smaller than us that we can dominate with our thumbs. hell, use your whole hand and cause some real devastation. pussies. know why i never see bugs? because i kill them and leave the corpses as trophies and messages to their friends, fuck with me and become a nice wall decoration.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 13 Oct 2009 at 9:55 am

    Pete – I am awaiting your apology.

    Joe – I agree but centipedes do something strange to me. I can’t even look at that photo without bursting into tears and pooping a little.

  6. Jayon 13 Oct 2009 at 11:29 am

    I couldn’t stand these things, every Chicago apartment I lived in had them. They come up from the basement when it starts getting cold. Thankfully I have yet to see one here in Los Angeles.

  7. Saraon 13 Oct 2009 at 11:47 am

    I call them milliion leggers in every other situation I take 8bithero’s stance that a bugs a bug and it will probably eat other bugs. But these things make me scream out loud, and run crying to my husband….who also finds it amusing to catch them under a cup and leave them there for me to find later…bastard

    One ran over my face while I was sleeping once as well, I consider it the most traumitizing thing that has ever happened to me

  8. hodanon 13 Oct 2009 at 12:42 pm

    i hate crickets as much as centipedes. what purposed do these things serve?!

  9. SanFranon 13 Oct 2009 at 12:47 pm

    Fuckin A dude… we are clones, except I’m better looking, most likely.

    We lived in a big ole 1880’s vintage house in Lowell, MA some years ago, and the place was loaded with these suckers…

    Not really knowing what they were, we dubbed them “Gigabugs” – basically, land-borne jellyfish.

    SPOOKY

  10. SanFranon 13 Oct 2009 at 12:48 pm

    hodan: crickets taste a bit like peanut butter, not that I know.

  11. Joeon 13 Oct 2009 at 12:51 pm

    thats like my mother being scared of grasshoppers. im scared of velociraptors and zombies. ya know, shit that is logical to be scared of.

  12. 8bitheroon 13 Oct 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Joeon 13
    thats like my mother being scared of grasshoppers. im scared of velociraptors and zombies. ya know, shit that is logical to be scared of.

    It’s logical to be afraid of extinct species and fictional creatures?

    I fear only those which can eat me; bears, sharks, lions, and the like. I mitigate this fear by not going into the places these animals live. A shark can’t eat me if I’m not in the ocean.

  13. You Just Made My List!on 13 Oct 2009 at 1:06 pm

    Joe – maybe your mom would like this photo… http://www.funny-potato.com/images/animals/insects/giant-insects.jpg

  14. Peteon 13 Oct 2009 at 1:41 pm

    My king, I am sorry. Didn’t know they were referred to as “house centipedes.”

    But I’ve always known them as “silverfish,” which would explain the wiki entry under that name. Anyhoo, I’ve spotted them in just about every house I’ve lived it and they’re icky icky ka-ka. If anybody has anything good to say about them, please own up so we can feel less squeamish about them.

    It’s wonderful to know when we die, we can look forward to little creatures just like this nesting in our empty eyesockets by the hundreds. Can’t hardly wait! Have a nice day everyone

  15. jlawon 13 Oct 2009 at 1:53 pm

    Yeah centipedes are creepy as hell… blah blah blah. How about you actually do something with this website instead of making random posts like twice a week. I’m sure you have enough time in your busy day to keep up with it – stop being so damn lazy!

  16. CreatureofHabiton 13 Oct 2009 at 2:43 pm

    I call these Satan’s Little Helpers. Pure evil…..

  17. You Just Made My List!on 13 Oct 2009 at 3:07 pm

    jlaw – Pull up a chair and start licking my balls.

  18. Neishon 13 Oct 2009 at 3:13 pm

    I had something like that crawling on my floor last night so I took my lovely, thick, Canada Consitution text book and dropped it on the little bastard. Best $80 I ever spent.

    But now I don’t wanna touch my book to read it, bug guts and all :S

  19. hodanon 13 Oct 2009 at 6:56 pm

    check out the reviews of the Cool Whip hipster scum commercial. never have there been funnier comments made on Youtube:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_70xGUxznYY&feature=player_embedded

  20. Amandaon 14 Oct 2009 at 12:04 pm

    GAAAAH! I nearly jumped out of my damn skin looking at that picture! I live in the foothills of Los Angeles so we get a ton of weird critters. I can handle tarantulas, snakes, opossums, crickets, beetles and other creatures but the second I see a centipede I freak the fuck out! I seriously want to jump off a damned cliff when I see them. Oh and you can put millipedes in that same creep-me-the-fuck-out category as well!

  21. jasonon 27 Oct 2009 at 11:17 am

    he’s not ‘scared’ of them – he is repulsed by them. theres a difference. since i was brainwashed by my jewish parents that spending money excessively was evil, i had cheap ass apartments in the past that had mice and bugs. you DO get used to just destroying their pitiful lives with your thumb.
    it gets to be no big deal.

    spiders, you DO want – they will kill these centipede and silverfish fuckers. spiders = friends!

  22. Alessaon 21 Feb 2010 at 9:39 pm

    Oh my fucking god, now you’ve got me paranoid that one of these is gonna magically appear on my wall.

    GEE, THANKS LISTY!

  23. You Just Made My List!on 21 Feb 2010 at 9:50 pm

    Alessa – Oh yeah, they are coming to get you! Sleep with your mouth closed.

  24. suzanneon 19 Jun 2012 at 12:05 am

    The dude that wrote the first comment that its not a centipede its a silverfish..ur fuckin wrong that’s a goddamn centipede..google silverfish and look at the picture on wikipedia u will see the difference..silverfish look like teddy bears compared to that fucking scary ass centipede

  25. Mariaon 18 Sep 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Hey i was going to the restroom And as I grabbed the toilet paper one of those creepers was hidden inside and fell inside of my panties. For a moment i thought it was some tangled hair falling on my underwear and then,i realized that that hairy thing was moving so I jumped out of of the toilet and almost pissed all over the carpet yelling and trying to get rid of the damn thing. After that scary moment I am even afraid of entering in that bathroom. I look everywhere whenever i have to enter in there like a cop following a criminal in a scary movie. Any ideas to exterminate them? Any poison? Insecticide?? Tell me please!!!

  26. You Just Made My List!on 18 Sep 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Maria – If that happened to me I would kill myself. There is no other solution.