Oct 22 2009

Pimp Halloween costumes!

Published by at 3:30 am under Jerks

pimp halloween costumes

Question: Have you ever seen a guy dressed as a pimp for Halloween who was NOT a huge douchebag?
Answer: No.

I think a better name for this costume would be “Guy who will fail to give you an orgasm but will jizz in your hair before yacking all over your bed and probably also a little in your hair so now you have barf and jizz in your hair.” That might be a little long for the packaging but you have to admit, it’s catchy!

I would be willing to bet my life savings (currently in negative status) that both Jon Gosselin and Guy Fieri have dressed as pimps at some point in their douchey lives. Chew on THAT before you decide to dress as a pimp this year!

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12 comments so far

12 comments to “Pimp Halloween costumes!”

  1. Mr. Kickerson 22 Oct 2009 at 8:42 am

    Dude, no way! The pimp is a classic costume, not to mention hilarious (that’s me in the middle). In college, my frat had a “Pimp and Ho'” party and it was sweet. Even though we lost our charter after the rape incident, it was still worth it. What is next on your list – attacking the “Sexy Nurse” costume? Don’t stop me from objectifying women. I thought this was America, not Russia. Lighten up, Bro. You need to get some.

  2. 8bitheroon 22 Oct 2009 at 9:09 am

    American culture glorifies a “profession” that engages in the beatings of women and forcing them into sex acts so they can “earn a living”.

    U-S-A! U-S-A!

  3. RBoneon 22 Oct 2009 at 10:50 am

    I was a pimp once in college. Though, because my hand was strong, I managed to skip the jizz part and went straight to the puking.

  4. SanFranon 22 Oct 2009 at 11:09 am

    I’ve only once dressed as a Pimp, and it wasn’t to do with halloween – but, get this, for a wedding…

    There’s me in a purple crushed velvet getup, yellow leather shoes, and a medallion swingin’ too and fro. It was glorious, and a very fun wedding – followed by a “love parade” through the streets of Baltimore, MD – guys dressed as pirates on bikes stopped traffic (they couldn’t get a ‘parade permit’ from the city) so we could all pass – there were drums and horns and guitars. Good stuff.

    Thinking back, there were those “other times”, but I don’t care to enumerate, as I might run for public office some day.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 22 Oct 2009 at 11:23 am

    I feel bad that you guys dressed as pimps and I’m basically saying that you are douchebags for it. I guess eventually I will offend everyone with this website and die a lonely man in a pee-stained pants. In my defense you really shouldn’t have put me in the position by dressing as pimps.

    I will await your apologies.

  6. Tommyon 22 Oct 2009 at 11:52 am

    Here Here YJMML! Fuck those costumes and the douchebags in them. for great bestiality go to zootube.com

  7. […] know I already wrote some brilliant prose about pimp costumes today but I can no longer bite my tongue on the subject of Balloon Boy and his fucked up family. I […]

  8. RBoneon 22 Oct 2009 at 1:26 pm

    To be clear, my pimp costume was acquired piecemeal via several fine thrift and vintage retailers. I would not don a store-bought, ready-made pimp/clown outfit. Mine had to be as authentically musty, vaj-juice crusty and coke-dusty as possible.

  9. Jacobon 22 Oct 2009 at 3:00 pm

    THANKS A LOT, YOU’VE RUINED MY COSTUME!!!

  10. Melissaon 07 Sep 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Um actually i have seen PLENTY of decent guys dressed as pimps for halloween and my pimps and ho”s bday party. Stereotype much. Mr. Kickers ROFL i highly doubt that’s you in the pic though LOL

  11. Melissaon 07 Sep 2010 at 6:11 pm

    “I feel bad that you guys dressed as pimps and I’m basically saying that you are douchebags for it. I guess eventually I will offend everyone with this website and die a lonely man in a pee-stained pants. In my defense you really shouldn’t have put me in the position by dressing as pimps.

    I will await your apologies.”
    Its halloween old man, people dress as what they aren’t like PIMPS. You mock something just cause YOU don’t like it, doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t like it. That’s kinda sad. Don’t KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT.

  12. You Just Made My List!on 07 Sep 2010 at 11:11 pm

    Melissa – Do I stereotype much? Fuck yeah I do, you moron, have you seen the rest of the site? All I do is stereotype people (correctly).