Nov 04 2009

Kiss my ass, I’m sick!

Published by at 3:18 am under Jerks

jesus and me

First, I’m fucking SICK! It feels like someone forced Guy Fieri’s bloated corpse into my lungs. Every breath is torture.

Secondly, did you ever want to know what I look like? Well I just about shit my pants when I stumbled across the painting above because I’ll be God damned if that isn’t me being comforted by the J-man! Seriously, it looks just like me. Should I be worried?

I’ll try to write something real tomorrow.

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12 comments so far

12 comments to “Kiss my ass, I’m sick!”

  1. Saraon 04 Nov 2009 at 8:10 am

    are you passed out drunk in the middle of the road? Cause those headlights in the distance are getting closer man. Heaven has enough young mangled corpses I’m sure.

  2. Jeffon 04 Nov 2009 at 8:16 am

    Verified. I know listy since he was 6 and I would age this portrait of him as somewhere between 12 and 26.

  3. Peteon 04 Nov 2009 at 8:36 am

    Hang in there, chief. I usually get sick when the weather turns in October. This year was no exception. I could pump myself with pills or go get the shots–it won’t matter; it always takes 3 weeks or so to go away. And then I’m stronger than EVER!

  4. guilty noodleson 04 Nov 2009 at 8:51 am

    HOLY SHIT! That does look like you. Can you get that original painting? It’s a must to grace your walls.

  5. Paul in Saint Paulon 04 Nov 2009 at 12:44 pm

    It might be you, but I’m not convinced that’s Jesus. Also, is that a demonic owl with golden glowing eyes hovering above on the left? Take heed.

  6. hodanon 04 Nov 2009 at 2:00 pm

    why is that homeless man touching that boy?

  7. Yours Trulyon 04 Nov 2009 at 5:13 pm

    That painting of Jesus looks exactly like my old law professor.

  8. Jeffon 04 Nov 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Listy, my wife thinks you painted this yourself. Come clean.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 04 Nov 2009 at 10:19 pm

    Jeff – I wish had the skills to paint like this. I would never stop painting pictures of me and Jesus doing stuff together. Playing Tempest at the arcade, fist fight, changing the oil in my car, riding zebras… the list would never end!

  10. Neishon 05 Nov 2009 at 12:40 am

    If this looks like you, you’re possibly hot…but of course you have some Jesus on you so wipe that shit off.

    Also I hope you’re not an alter boy…

  11. CreatureofHabiton 05 Nov 2009 at 7:25 am

    The hair is a bit light, but holy fucking shit if it doesn’t look like you! I’ll be goddamned!

    You need to hang this next to your oil portrait.

  12. rxon 18 Nov 2009 at 12:30 am

    damn… you’re kinda foxy.