Nov 20 2009

Sarah Palin!

Published by at 3:41 am under Jerks,Sucky TV

sarah palin idiot moron

I thought we were done with this ridiculous idiot. There is nothing more that needs to be said about this moronic dolt, so instead I will rank the cast of Friends from best to worst.

friends joeyJoey Tribbiani
This is a no-brainer. I mean come on, it’s Joey! He’s clearly the most lovable friend. He’s an actor, a cocksman and he got his head stuck in a turkey.

friends monicaMonica Geller
Sure, Monica is a neat freak and highly competitive but she’s also fun. She’s one of the guys. She’ll kick your ass at ping pong or Ms. Pac-Man and look good while doing it. She gets points taken off for banging Chandler though. That’s just gross.

friends rossRoss Geller
The spot for the third best friend is almost a tie but Ross squeaks by for his goofy antics. Who can forget the leather pants incident or the spray tan fiasco? Plus, he had a pet monkey and that’s worth a lot in my book. Points deducted for being in love with Rachel and for all his serious, dramatic moments. Blah.

friends chandlerChandler Bing
Could Chandler BE anymore in fourth place? The Chandler and Joey roommate years were great. They had a pet duck and for a while their only piece of furniture was a canoe. Let’s not forget his romance with the lovely Janice, who I believe is his true soul mate. Chandler could have taken the third spot if not for all those hideous vests he wore over the years. Plus he got fat once he started dating Monica. Come on Chandler, Mon deserves better!

friends phoebePhoebe Buffay
Sorry Phoebe, but as a hippie you must rank low on the list. When her mother committed suicide it must have been incredibly difficult for Phoebe and her twin sister Ursula so I feel a little guilty ranking her so low.

friends rachelRachel Green
Rachel Sucks.

Be Sociable, Share!

25 comments so far

25 comments to “Sarah Palin!”

  1. Jeffon 20 Nov 2009 at 4:56 am

    I like Sarah Palin and my favorite ‘Friend’ is Chandler, so let’s just agree to disagree.

    (You like Ross??)

  2. 8bitheroon 20 Nov 2009 at 6:06 am

    Ah, yes, Mrs. Palin.

    When the country thinks that the best thing for this nation is a barely educated, beauty pagent, folksy, winking, soccer mom in the Presidential or vice-presidential position it is time for this nation to realize we have failed.

    I don’t care what political party this vapis airhead is a part of, thinking Africa is a nation and that she can “see Russia from her house” should be automatic grounds for banishment from any government position.

    The only way I would ever believe in the 2012 earth ending theories is if this twat gains another political office.

  3. rachelon 20 Nov 2009 at 6:59 am

    the best thing Sarah Palin did for this country was resurrect Tina Fey on SNL. *wink*

    Friends effing rules, and your list proves that you know enough about them to know it!

    PS it’s always been a tie-between Joey and Chandler for me.

  4. CreatureofHabiton 20 Nov 2009 at 7:15 am

    I hate Sarah Palin and I hated Friends. People watched that shit? It drove me crazy.
    Is there anything worse in life than having a conversation with someone new, maybe a new friend you really like, and then she quotes from an episode of Friends? *dies* Seinfeld is one thing, Friends is a whole different shit storm.
    Oh, I just thought of one thing worse – maybe if Sarah Palin quoted a Friends episode? That strikes me as the ultimate indicator that America as we knew it is over and the prophecy of Idiocracy is true.

    On a completely different note, I have to share this with you Listy…. there’s a song on the radio right now by Death Cab for Cutie called ‘Meet Me on the Equinox” and I said outloud to our intern (who is 22) “this sounds exactly like Rush doesn’t it?” and do you know what the 22 y.o. intern said to me? DO YOU? He said “Who’s Rush?”. I died, right there. Died dead.

  5. Saraon 20 Nov 2009 at 8:18 am

    You think your sick of Palin?!? Your names not Sara, you dont have dark hair and glasses enough with the Iraqastan jokes

    Creature I can only thank god that the horible memory of Rush is fading from our new generation. Maybe its not Rush I hate but Getti Lee….GOD I HATE GETTI LEE’S VOICE!!!!

    Chandlers the bomb.

    and to piss Creature off more, Friends Quote comming up….
    In the episode where the girls want the guys apartment and Ross held a quiz contest to determine the winner.

    Ross: For the tie braker…to whom is the TV Guide addressed to at Joey and Chandlers address?
    Monica: Oh I know I steal that all the time!! Its Chandler Its Chandler
    Ross: Incorrect…its addressed to Chanandaler Bong
    Chandler: Mrs Chanandaler Bong!

  6. 8bitheroon 20 Nov 2009 at 8:30 am

    Rush is the poor man’s Iron Maiden.

  7. 8bitheroon 20 Nov 2009 at 8:30 am



  8. You Just Made My List!on 20 Nov 2009 at 9:11 am

    Jeff – I have known you long enough to know that you don’t actually like Sarah Palin. It’s the same as when hipsters claim to like Justin Timberlake just so they can feel cool for liking something that sucks. And yes, I like Ross 57% of the time.

    8Bit – I’m high five-ing you right now.

    Rachel – I’m sorry you share a name with the worst friend.

    Creature – You need to come to the dark side and embrace Friends. Each episode breaks down like this… 9% hilarious, 32% funny, 45% watchable and 14% terrible.

    You tell that youngster that I wish I didn’t know who Death Cab fr Cutie was! Then smash something on the ground and say booyah.

    Sara – I’m sorry you share a name with the worst Sarah.

    “Mrs Chanandaler Bong” is such a classic and I am ashamed that I did not include it in my Chandler description. Sara, I’ll be there for you.

    8Bit – Iron Maiden is the rich man’s Rush.

  9. Jeffon 20 Nov 2009 at 10:44 am

    In an age where the consensus is that everyone should be left-wing robots who think ‘please government take more of my money because obviously you know what’s best for me’, there will of course be a contrarian.

    Sure, I’d rather have William F Buckley Jr. – but at the moment a hot mama who shoots moose will do.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 20 Nov 2009 at 10:49 am

    Jeff – What is this mythical age you speak of? You’ve been out of the country too long.

  11. rachelon 20 Nov 2009 at 12:35 pm

    Joey should be applauded for the time he ate the entire thanksgiving turkey. and then uttered my favorite quote from Friends: “uh-oh. Here come the meat sweats.”

  12. Jayon 20 Nov 2009 at 1:22 pm

    You just made my list for knowing so much about Friends.

  13. You Just Made My List!on 20 Nov 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Rachel – Joey is a national treasure!

    Jay – You need to just admit to yourself that it isn’t as bad as you want it to be. I wouldn’t watch it in primetime, but at midnight it’s something special.

  14. jasonon 20 Nov 2009 at 8:42 pm

    WHAT?! no love for Rachel?! In most seasons, i loved her! i dont like what jen did to her face though.

    ross is a douche; rush hasnt done anything good since “Signals” ( 1982!).

    the diehards of rush that are over 35 yrs old think everything after their year of high school graduation is worthless.

  15. Paul in Saint Paulon 21 Nov 2009 at 9:18 am

    I am somewhat taken aback by your Friends knowledge. I started years late, as you, with late-night syndication and agree with your episode quality breakdown. Monica has a new sitcom, Cougar Town – unfortunate title, that isn’t half-bad. It follows Modern Family, which is flickering with genius.

  16. hodanon 21 Nov 2009 at 12:08 pm

    i’ve never watched Friends. So thanks for the layout.

  17. Edon 22 Nov 2009 at 11:02 am

    -Don’t care about “Friends”
    -Take or leave Palin; but don’t hate on her for being how she is. She has no effect on my day-to-day or how the country is run. Let her make her money like every other pol.
    -Enjoy this site.


  18. You Just Made My List!on 22 Nov 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Ed – I don’t really care if she makes money, I’m more bothered by the fact that there are people who take her seriously. I’m also insulted by her whole theory that the only “real” Americans are those who support her.

  19. Jeffon 22 Nov 2009 at 9:13 pm

    Normally I can’t stand Matt Taibbi, but I agree with his insight into why people connect with Palin:

    “Most normal people cannot connect on an emotional level with Rush’s meanderings on how Harry Reid is buying off Mary Landrieu with pork in the health care bill. They can, however, connect with stories about how top McCain strategist…Steve Schmidt told poor Sarah to shut her pie-hole on election day… [and] how [he] used the word “fuck” in front of her daughter”

    She’s perfect for those who feel uncomfortable with the political establishment in Washington, yet have little interest in learning about the details to express a coherent view on it. And that’s probably most people – dontcha think?

  20. You Just Made My List!on 22 Nov 2009 at 11:25 pm

    Jeff – Sadly yes, I agree that most people do not want to put even the slightest effort into knowing anything about politics or the world around them. They can tell you every “celebrity” who has ever been on Dancing with the Stars but they can’t find Iraq on a map. Sarah Palin celebrates and encourages this and I think it’s tragic.

  21. Jeffon 23 Nov 2009 at 5:13 am

    So, perhaps now you can see why it’s ridiculous that someone clearly from the political establishment campaigned using the brainless platitudes of ‘hope’ and ‘change’…

  22. CreatureofHabiton 23 Nov 2009 at 6:38 am

    Listen, I’m no Rush fan. Don’t own any. But how can you not know who Rush IS? I even busted into ‘Tom Sawyer’ to see if it rang any bells for him and he just stared and said ‘what kind of song is that?’. It made me feel alarmingly old. In fact, this will go down in the history of my life as the moment I realized I’m not getting any younger… and there’s people in line behind me waiting to kick my ass. And I shared it with you all… and Listy.

    Fuck Palin! She’s a train wreck redneck! Hellz yeah Martha!

  23. You Just Made My List!on 23 Nov 2009 at 9:58 am

    Jeff – I’m not so cynical to think that “hope” and/or “Change” are bad things to invest in. It’s better than the alternative which sadly has become “fear” and “ignorance.”

    Creature – Great clip! Also, agreed, you have to at least KNOW who Rush is. Kids today!

  24. EJon 23 Dec 2009 at 11:25 pm

    Friends is a show for women, mainly because it was about six girls. Not one person on that show had a pair of testicles. I think I watched it four times, and all I can remember are the dykes calling each other “honey” and that whiny bucket of shit who i’m convinced was born with a vaginal cavity. Oh, wait. There were those sidesplitting looks out the window at the ugly naked guy. Heeelarity.

    For the dipshit above who thought Palin said she could see Russia from her house – that was Tina Fey. That’s the kind of blithering idiocy that occurs when one relies upon TV stars and musicians to tell him/her how to vote.

  25. […] can I describe this bore? Mix a pound of Andrew Dice Clay with a pound of Guy Fieri and a cup of Joey from Friends. Stir in some Kat Von D, a pinch of Gwen Stefani and mix until it makes you want to […]