Dec 10 2009

The smallest apartment in New York!

Published by at 3:19 am under Jerks

smallest apartment in new york

Fuck you.

I hate these two assholes. Can I just say that I hate them and their fucking ridiculous 15′ x 10′ Manhattan apartment and leave it at that?

I guess we are supposed to find it charming that they spent $150,000 on this shit hole but it has the opposite effect on me. I want them to die. I don’t find anything cute about people who use their kitchen cabinets to store their clothes. I hate their 3′ wide bathroom and I feel sorry for their cats. Not because they also have to live in such a tiny space, rather I feel bad that the cats have nowhere to hide while these creepy douchebags have creepy douchebag sex in their creepy serial killer apartment.

I think this story is supposed to make me think Manhattan is wacky and unique, but it just makes me think Manhattan is absurd.

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18 comments so far

18 comments to “The smallest apartment in New York!”

  1. kiddaon 10 Dec 2009 at 3:35 am

    I hope they have really smelly shits, I’d imagine that would wipe their stupid grins off their faces

  2. calebon 10 Dec 2009 at 8:51 am

    i lived two years in an apt that was slightly smaller than 10’x15′. granted, it was just me but even then i was miserable. it felt like i was living in an oversized broom closet (actually it was a third-floor walkup in a 100 year old mansion that had been converted into studios, so i’m pretty sure it had been a broom closet at one time). on the rare occassion i had people over they would literally laugh at how small it was, like it was a joke.

    it was no joke for me. man am i glad i’m out of that place.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 10 Dec 2009 at 9:03 am

    Caleb – Was this in New York? At least you hated your miserable apartment, unlike these two twats.

  4. Saraon 10 Dec 2009 at 10:14 am

    If I was a cat caught in that cell with a roomba chasing me around all day I’d be schitzo.

  5. Quaseon 10 Dec 2009 at 10:23 am

    God damn it, I visited NY a couple of weeks ago for vacations and boy, did I regret it. I seriously got claustrophobia on the hotel room. Its like space is so ridiculously expensive, they feel is OK to have a single unisex bathroom even in the most upscale stores. Shit is whack friends…

  6. You Just Made My List!on 10 Dec 2009 at 10:27 am

    Sara – If those cats had hands they would hang themselves.

    Quase – That shit is indeed whack. I still love New York though, just would never want to live there.

  7. calebon 10 Dec 2009 at 10:55 am

    nope, it was in Minneapolis.

  8. SanFranon 10 Dec 2009 at 11:59 am

    This would not work out well for me.

  9. Yo Yoon 10 Dec 2009 at 12:01 pm

    THANK YOU!!!! I saw this the other day and thought the same thing. Why would you want to be that close to the toilet and your husband all the time. Hell no!!!

    Hey Rachel the Red Head 😉

  10. Saraon 10 Dec 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Where would they hang themselves?!? THERE’S NO CLOSET! The humane society needs to pick those things up and move them to a spacious cage.

    I like how Yo Yo associates “husband” and “toilet” on the same level
    When my husband and I were still dating we moved from a large apartment with 2 other roomates to a two room hole. We broke up in 3 weeks. I moved across the street and we contiued to sleep together untill our leases were up then we bought a house.

  11. You Just Made My List!on 10 Dec 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Sara – That is the most romantic story I have ever heard. Are you sure that isn’t the plot to The English Patient?

  12. Yo Yoon 10 Dec 2009 at 3:16 pm

    LOL Sara, I didn’t think of it like that but yes, those were the first thoughts that came to my mind when I saw the pictures of the box. Where would I go when I want to be alone AND stinky stuff happens in that toilet. I like more space to not smell it. They must have a “No pooping in that bathroom” rule.

  13. You Just Made My List!on 10 Dec 2009 at 3:21 pm

    I’m surprised they even HAVE a toilet. I can see them storing their groceries in the toilet and pooping in their mini shower. I HATE THEM!

  14. kenon 11 Dec 2009 at 1:02 am

    You realize you’re now obligated to write about the inevitable murder/suicide these two will be involved in late February when the cabin fever gets to them.

    Seriously, did Brooklyn not occur to these people? Hell, I have friend who has a really sweet pad in The Bronx that was probably the same price as these dolts.

    I’m with you Listy, I love NYC, especially Manhattan but could never live there, unless I was uber-rich.

  15. Alessaon 21 Feb 2010 at 9:15 pm

    Ugh, how on earth could you live in an apartment that small and be happy (or at least.. not upset) about it? AND feel like you have enough room to spare for cats?

    Also, have you noticed how similar those people look? They have the same creepy-ass smile and nose. Something’s not right here.

  16. The Euroon 18 Aug 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Minimalism is awesome. Tiny apartments too. Anybody that says otherwise is a stupid, spoiled U.S. American.

  17. You Just Made My List!on 18 Aug 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Euro – Suck my big, hairy American balls. I’m fine with Minimalism, you douchebag, but this is ridiculous. Now go wear your shoes without socks, you Euro trash butthole.

    And another thing… You won’t find someone who calls out stupid things about America more than me, so you’re way off base.

  18. Fredon 14 Sep 2010 at 10:49 pm