Dec 22 2009

Polar bear clubs!

Published by at 3:44 am under Jerks,Why?!?

polar bear club

Assholes.

Look at me! Look at me! I am desperate to be noticed! MY ONLY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO BE ON THE NEWS! I’m swimming in the winter, can you believe how crazy I am? Love me. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME DADDY?!?

These are the same kind of attention hogs that ride around on tall bikes, propose marriage in wacky ways and get married in some bullshit underwater wedding. You may think I am simply against fun. You are an idiot. I like fun, but swimming in a frozen lake in the middle of winter and having your cock and balls retreat into your body, never to be seen again, is literally the exact opposite of fun.

Guess what? POLAR BEARS don’t even want to swim around in some godforsaken frozen ocean for 6 hours looking for some dumb fish to eat. It is a well documented fact that the suicide rate among polar bears is the second highest in the animal kingdom. Obviously the number one slot goes to Guy Fieri’s tapeworms.

BREAKING NEWS:
Forget everything I just said, polar bear clubs are awesome!

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14 comments so far

14 comments to “Polar bear clubs!”

  1. Andraon 22 Dec 2009 at 7:26 am

    attention whores? Surely you don’t mean the girl in the first picture, with 2 billion tattoos on her legs and Ronald McDonald hair, she looks like she is trying to blend into the background.

  2. iron fistson 22 Dec 2009 at 7:28 am

    Dibs on the one in blue spots

  3. Jonathanon 22 Dec 2009 at 8:01 am

    I agree that polar bear clubs are dumb, but you have to give the group in your pictures some slack because they’re doing it on Coney Island, which is probably the most awesome place in the world. If you’ve never been there, you have to go. They have a sideshow!

  4. Jacobon 22 Dec 2009 at 9:28 am

    Damnit why aren’t their nips hard?!?

  5. rachelon 22 Dec 2009 at 10:26 am

    oh…listy. i LOVE your HATRED!

  6. SuperSluton 22 Dec 2009 at 1:19 pm

    don’t forget about the fools who ski/snowboard in bikinis/shirtless/in shorts, etc. nothing says dbag like a fiery ice rash.

  7. Heathon 22 Dec 2009 at 3:13 pm

    Those pictures are certainly redeeming. So it’s decided, women are allowed to swim in winter…but only if they have massive boobs. I will do more “research” on these large breasted seasonal swimmers 😉

  8. You Just Made My List!on 22 Dec 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Heath – Yes, this clearly needs to be a rule.

  9. Whateveron 22 Dec 2009 at 9:24 pm

    tattoos are like the herpes of human expression…at least spread them out so that they can be distinguished…if I wanted to have sex with ink i could have fucked my newspaper for 75 cents…boobs are nice i guess, just as long as the aeriola isnt bigger than my yawn like some of those white trash slutty no rent paying street slum pole dancers like they have at your local “la la legs”…i think polar bear clubs are for pussies trying to prove to the world that they aren’t pussies when in fact, as you mentioned about your junk crawling up into your body, these bastards obviously have no junk to begin with, just pussies…wouldn’t it be great if Al Gore was wrong and we had a sudden Freeze and all these stupid assholes would turn to human icecube pussies as soon as they entered the water? Ben Afleck would surely star in that movie, stupid asshole. I hate life.

  10. Whateveron 22 Dec 2009 at 9:32 pm

    ps. that tramp stamp i see in picture 2, nothing says i want to fuck you more than some unoriginal unartistic tribal bullshit seeking desperately to cover your back hair and take my attention away from your ass pimples. Please Ladies, take a lesson from pop culture and bring sexy “back”, just not literally.

  11. Emon 23 Dec 2009 at 11:51 am

    Okay…so brave enough to face freezing cold waters, but not brave enough to go in without a hat? Worried you might catch a cold? These losers can take their nasty ass bodies and crawl back into the pathetic holes they came from and stop bothering everyone with their attention seeking antics.

  12. mk sypon 28 Dec 2009 at 2:54 pm

    daddy daddy – I love it, oh daddy daddy, you didnt love me enough as a child, oh daddy daddy look at me, oh daddy daddy notice me , oh daddy daddy you didnt bend me over your knee enough! oh daddy daddy. I also agree with whatever the tramp stamp authority, another guy who knows whats going on. Some of you women are absolutly clueless, daddy daddy

  13. […] Polar bear clubs are like the Ford Tempos of winter enthusiasts but these over-achiever marathon assholes are the Hummers. “LOOK AT ME! I’M SPECIAL! I’M BETTER THAN YOU!”  I hope it’s worth the $4,300 entrance fee plus the money and effort to get your tight ass down to the bottom of our planet so you can run around in you tights with snot frozen to your handsome face. Share the magic! […]

  14. cwon 16 Oct 2012 at 7:26 pm

    any pics of girl in polka dots?