Aug 25 2008

John Edward and all assholes who claim to speak to the dead!

Published by at 3:00 am under Jerks,Sucky TV,Why?!?

Dear God, I know you are busy with touchdowns and handing out Grammys but if you could just set aside a couple minutes for me and sayeth that I may kick this fucking asshole in the empty space between his legs I would REALLY appreciate it. Just one good kick square in his fluffy vagina is all I’m asking for. Amen.

Mega-turd John Edward literally makes my skin crawl. The sound of his voice and the sight of his face makes me want to take a Silkwood shower until my skin is raw and bleeding.

Why do I hate this fucker so much? He makes money off people when they are at their weakest. People who may be misguided in their desire to speak to their dead uncle Charlie but innocent nonetheless. You might even think I would want to add these gullible rubes to my list but I actually don’t think they are rubes at all. For the most part, they are simply people who have a gaping hole left by a deceased loved one and John Edward can’t wait to start fucking that hole.

If you believe this grease ball can actually talk to the dead I must request that you slap yourself in the face. It is well documented that this jerk and all other jerks like him use simple techniques like planting people in the audience to listen for details or using microphones before the show to do the same. They also use the cheap sideshow trick of cold reading where they simply wait for the audience member to give up information voluntarily and build on those details.

If you STILL believe in this bullshit answer this for me, if these people can actually communicate with the dead why do they always start by saying “I’m getting an R or maybe a B, it could be an F, an F or an R, is there anyone with a connection to the letter R or B or G or F or N or Q or R, maybe it’s a P?” Some poor person will finally say “My aunt’s name starts with a P.” This is when the bullshit becomes painfully transparent because suddenly this “ghost” who seconds earlier could barely communicate the first letter of his or her name asks the “psychic” to tell the relative how much they love them and all about the cool stuff they have been doing in heaven. John Edward asks us to honestly believe a spirit ALWAYS starts a conversation with him like this “ooooooohhh… Jooooohn… R… John… R… R… I said R John… not P… R… R you fucking idiot… I’m saying R you asshole… it’s only one letter you dick… my name starts with R… I will tell you the rest later but for now let’s just start with R.”

Fuck you John Edward and all other charlatan douchebags who prey on people at such a fragile time. You disgust me. Oh yeah, and fuck that dog psychic Sonya Fitzpatrick too!

What’s the word I’m looking for… Oh yeah CUNT!

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3 comments so far

3 comments to “John Edward and all assholes who claim to speak to the dead!”

  1. Anglewolfon 05 Jan 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Why are you so bitter…..have you ever truly loved, cared for an animail???? You seem to have alot of personal issues about things you don’t know anything about. What you say and wish on someone, you really wish those things on yourself. I really feel sorry for you. I will pray for you and send you on your way. Don’t judge…..take a close look at yourself and realize that we are all on different paths….why be so nasty. You seen to be a VERY young spirit…..too bad.

  2. You Just Made My List!on 05 Jan 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Anglewolf – What the fuck are you even talking about? Please fuck off and don’t bother talking to the air (A.K.A. praying) for me. I’m nasty because of people like John Edwards who takes advantage of people when they are in pain. You want to pray from someone, pray that piece of shit.

  3. Benon 28 May 2010 at 11:41 am

    LOL, better watch it. It seems like Anglewolf is a wise old spirit who most likely has mystical powers. Then again, I can’t see him do anything bad if he cares for animails.