Apr 01 2010
Holy Shit, Guy Fieri actually did something I liked!
I hate to admit this, but I feel it is my duty to be honest. I finally saw the new Guy Fieri game show “Minute to Win It” and I kind of liked it. Not only did I like the show, but I thought Guy was actually a good host. Should I kill myself?
I tuned in so I could write about how much I hated it, and the next thing I know, I was totally on the edge of my seat watching this lady balance plastic cups. Then, out of nowhere, I find myself LAUGHING at some of Guy Fieri’s jokes! Am I in a coma experiencing some twisted dream or is it because this is April fools’ day? I’m thinking it’s the latter you big dumb idiot. Of course I still fucking hate that dime store, rockabilly nut sack.
Fart.
I admire your journalistic integrity, you could have easily pretended you didn’t watch the show, and never had to tell your loyal fans that you LAUGHED at your nemesis. It makes me love you more.
PLEASE read this post closely, it’s an April fools’ day joke!!! I have never seen this show and I will NEVER like ANYTHING that douchebag does!
@Andra trolled much? Listy, you shouldn’t confess its an April Fools joke, just let everybody going first liek: >:-O, then they’ll be like: (:-D
Listman, April Fools lasts a WHOLE DAY. You are really lacking in stamina. It’s called carrying a bit to the end. Even the post shows minimal dedication to the Holy Day: “dime store, rockabilly nutsack.” Your entire day should have been filled with postings of vibrant defense, no, shining admiration, for Guy Fieri. We’ll have to wait another year for that now.
Paul – I’m sorry, you are right. I just felt psychically SICK while praising that asshole. I am a pussy and now I hate myself for revealing the joke early.
Forgiven. Just start plotting next year’s post now.
Listy, please, please don’t ever fuck with me like that again. I almost murdered myself. By the way Paul, you are sadistic if you think that Fieri joke should have lasted all day. Why don’t you ask yourself why you are so mean.
My word. The next thing you’ll be saying is that Rachel Ray has a beautiful singing voice. What’s next, huh, huh?!?! Paula Dan should grace the cover of Hustler? Giada should start wearing turtle necks?
The most shameful truth is spoken in jest. Your denial of your post further proves your admiration for Guy.
You make me sick.
I am a moron, a moron who forgot it was April fool’s day. Well at least the world makes sense again, you still hate Guy.
I wish you had made up some fake website saying he died and a whole fake obituary with Bobby Flay saying shit like “We at the Food Network feel so poor now, because the money is gone”
but I guess we’d feel even worse when we realized it wasn’t true.
I remember watching Giada and my husband saying things like. “you need to put that in the oven, so just bend on over.. no no! the BOTTOM rack, yea lower”
Damn! Don’t ever fuck with my head like that again!!!
10:54 PM. The first April Fool’s day joke that actually got me today… Damn you, Listy. Damn you.
Listy, on a serious note*, I’m a little late in buying it really sucked about that whole thing that happened the night before you left. I’m just** glad you’re okay. You’ve got your health and your Food Network.
There are times when I’m really impressed with one of your rants. It reminds me a bit of Maddox, who posts a rant every 6 months. I know think he’s overrated because he doesn’t do it everyday.
You’re a bit older than me, but I hope I’m like you when I’m as old as you.
P.S. Whenever I see Guy Fieri on one of his thousand lame shows on FoodTV, I think of you. But I also think of you when I’m on the toilet. Just enough to question my sexuality.
Sic semper tyrannus***!
* I’m a little tipsy
** I just wanted to put an asterisk in a random place.
*** I’m tipsier still.
Fondly,
Guy Fjero (the Swedish douche)
Also, one more thing, I know you might not have much control over this, but I have noticed an increasing instance of the banners on the right being a hot chick wearing a novelty t-shirt. I read this at work, and it sometimes looks like a scene in a movie involving a submarine or a prison bedroom.
A Fan – I am great and deserving of your praise. That you for reading my rants while drunk, I’m sure it helps make them more interesting. I know it’s more fun to write them while drunk.
DRINK ON!
good one
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Sincerely,
Marina.
Ukraine.
Just saw a clip of this shit on “The Soup.” All I have to say is “what the fuck man?!?!?!?!?” Isn’t it enough we have to see this rope sucker on Food Network and now we have to watch him on NBC!!! At least Joel McHale had enough stones to talk shit about him too.
something about fieri makes me want to bend him over and make love to him – in a hammer pounding kinda way.