Apr 02 2010

Your shit car and your even shittier spoiler!

Published by at 3:31 am under Jerks,Why?!?

bad douchebag car spoiler

Here’s a spoiler… you’re a dick.

I wouldn’t have even noticed how shitty your car was if you didn’t stick that ridiculous spoiler on the trunk of your mom’s car, but now it’s all I can think about. Well, I’m also possessed with the thought of forcing you off the road and watching your car roll over five times, fully engulfed in flames. Oh, that’s right, your car CAN’T roll over thanks to that $30 spoiler forcing your 1996 Honda Civic to grip the road like a Formula-1 race car! You win this one Brad.

Thank God that “wing” of yours is keeping your car on the road as you race through the streets of Beaver’s Knob, Wisconsin on your way to work at Bed Bath & Beyond. Oh Brad, I also wanted to let you know, that fat tailpipe you installed doesn’t make your car sound at all like a moped. On the contrary B Dawg, that crazy thing makes you sound like a fucking jet fighter.

Honestly Brad, when you zoom past me in your space ship car that sounds like a cordless drill, my Dockers get a little tight.

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24 comments so far

24 comments to “Your shit car and your even shittier spoiler!”

  1. Jim Joneson 02 Apr 2010 at 6:01 am

    That’s just handles on their “baby stroller” so mommy can push them around like a big boy!!!

  2. Jeffon 02 Apr 2010 at 8:53 am

    Sounds like sour grapes to me – what kind of car do you drive?

  3. You Just Made My List!on 02 Apr 2010 at 8:56 am

    Jeff – Yes, it’s obviously sour grapes. I am incredibly jealous of the Topaz pictured above.

  4. Jim Joneson 02 Apr 2010 at 9:32 am

    I have a BIG FUCKIN” truck. What kind of turd do you drive. Jeff, I bet you got a Toyota Prius with a six foot wing on it!!!

  5. Jeffon 02 Apr 2010 at 9:46 am

    Why did you fuzz out the number plate?

  6. Jeffon 02 Apr 2010 at 9:48 am

    Oh and we have a Hyundai Tucson – boo ya!

  7. You Just Made My List!on 02 Apr 2010 at 10:27 am

    I didn’t want people to see my plate number.

  8. Saraon 02 Apr 2010 at 10:50 am

    Brad does not like it when you go over to his car at the grocery store lot and grab his spoiler then go “Oh! I thought this was a shopping cart”

    Brad don’t think thats funny bro

  9. Bradon 02 Apr 2010 at 10:58 am

    Hey man, don’t be hatin’ because mah ride is more doper than your’n. I worked long and hard at Walmart, K-Mart and Dollar Mart to save up the $400 I needed to get that MAD KILLA spoiler and those DOPE-DIZZLE decals for mah back window. You city people think you’re so cool with your Ed Hardy shirts and toothpaste, but we know how to keeps it real down in west northern Mississipabama. Hellz yeah I’m white!

  10. You Just Made My List!on 02 Apr 2010 at 11:01 am

    Brad – Sorry dawg. You is right.

  11. rachelon 02 Apr 2010 at 11:09 am

    i LOVE LOVE LOVE that some called you out on your “sour grapes”. that should be the new name of the blog. also, i would really appreciate being able to use *italics* when i comment. thanks!

    –still dying over the TOPAZ.

  12. SanFranon 02 Apr 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Anyone with something like this on their car flunked out of High School Physics…

    Just what you want: downforce on the backend of a front-wheel-drive car.

    Outside of that, I think this pretty much sums it up – whoever owns this car is AWESOME.

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xRFNBWST25E/SXV9UbVvBpI/AAAAAAAAC3g/tG6lAOI4tKM/s400/Car+with+Park+Bench+Spoler.jpg

  13. You Just Made My List!on 02 Apr 2010 at 12:30 pm

    SanFran – Function AND comfort!

  14. SanFranon 02 Apr 2010 at 1:33 pm

    yup… takes ridin’ bitch to a whole new level…

  15. JulieJulieJulieon 02 Apr 2010 at 8:35 pm

    Honestly, when were you in Pittsburgh to take this picture? It seems like every other car has one of those retarded spoilers. But I guess spoilers are one step up the evolution ladder from when I lived in rural PA and all the vehicles had gun racks. Packin’ heat, wearin’ your flannel, and huntin’ possums apparently made for a fun night’s entertainment – ooh eee!

  16. Stephon 02 Apr 2010 at 8:51 pm

    Okay, I have a Honda Accord, but I don’t yet have a cool spoiler. Listy, tomorrow is my birthday. Will you be gifting me a sweet ass fin?

  17. Stephon 02 Apr 2010 at 8:52 pm

    Or I can take you coke bottle cock. It’s up to you.

  18. joeon 03 Apr 2010 at 6:47 am

    for some reason i knew his name was brad..

  19. You Just Made My List!on 03 Apr 2010 at 9:13 am

    Steph – Happy day of your birth. I guess we should just get this sex thing over with. Want to meet in the parking lot of a 7-11 and do it in the back seat? Not YOUR “back seat” I mean in actual back seat of my Ford Festiva.

  20. Stephon 03 Apr 2010 at 10:10 am

    A Ford Festiva? I am so orgasming right now.

  21. You Just Made My List!on 03 Apr 2010 at 10:12 am

    Steph – You’re welcome.

  22. Stephon 03 Apr 2010 at 10:23 am

    Marry me, Listy.

  23. Adion 09 Apr 2010 at 4:38 pm

    When i read the last sentence i literally spit out my drink. Thanks to your epic funnyhood my shitty computer screen will henceforth smell like liquor. Now when i hear something that sounds like a travel-sized hair dryer going down the street at 2am i will giggle like a child.

  24. sim1on 11 Oct 2010 at 3:02 am

    For some reason when I see this crap I think of dodge neon’s or a Chevy minivan’s makeshift plywood bumper… cheap assholes.