Apr 23 2010

Tiger Woods!

Published by at 3:31 am under Crappy Music,Jerks,Why?!?

Tiger Woods loves Nickelback

How could Tiger Woods cheat on his wife?!? Oh, I’m so mad at him!

Wait I forgot, that’s not why I’m disgusted with Tiger. I literally could not care less about his quest for pussy. That’s his business. But what does concern me is his quest for Nickelback. Yeah that’s right, did you hear that Woods chose a fucking Nickelback concert for his FIRST public social outing? First he offended women around the globe with his propensity for porn poon and apparently now he’s trying to offend people with ears.

I guess at the very least we can all forget about the mistresses and the dirty text messages now because compared to singing along with “Photograph,” cheating on your wife is nothing. I would forgive this guy for murder before I would for going backstage to hang out with those agents of Satan. Imagine how disappointed Tiger must have been when he realized he was backstage at a Nickelback concert, the one place on earth guaranteed to be void of vagina, except of course for those residing in the ripped blue jeans of the band.

Now, on to more important things. Are you aware a bonafide music legend left a comment on yesterday’s post? Every one please say hello to Randy Jones of the Village People and make him feel welcomed. He’s one of us.

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12 comments so far

12 comments to “Tiger Woods!”

  1. Peteon 23 Apr 2010 at 7:24 am

    Randy Jones! Village People! Macho Man Music lasts forever. Unlike Nickelback, whom history will soon relegate into a regrettable music fad.

    Will someone please tell Chad Kroeger he doesn’t have to 1) multitrack his voice ALL the time and 2) slather his inane vocals over the entirety of every song? I mean who knows, maybe there’s some palatable music going on back there, but I wouldn’t know cuz Kroeger feels the need to scream-sing over everything.

    Who am I kidding? Nickelback. This is how you remind me of how most new music today sucks.

    Now allow me to plug music that doesn’t suck. The original ASIA will drop their second new album in two years next week. Preorder “Omega” now and thank me later. And pick up “Phoenix” while you’re at it.

  2. Anneon 23 Apr 2010 at 8:49 am

    Who doesn’t love a twofer!?! Tiger Woods is a douche, he belongs hanging out with Nickelback. Maybe they can go on tour together and someone will blow up their bus, ridding the world of two horrible affronts to humanity.

  3. Perryon 23 Apr 2010 at 12:28 pm

    I think it’s time we all start a “Listy’s Awesome Summer Getaway” fundrasier. The idea being we all pitch in until we raise enough money to buy Tiger Woods, Nickelback, Guy Fieri and anyone else polluting society with their crap a one-way ticket to a tiny island in the Pacific. We’d never have to hear from them again and the country’s IQ would likely increase. I see nothing but benefits.

    Randy Jones, however, would not be on that flight since he’s obviously fucking awesome.

  4. You Just Made My List!on 23 Apr 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Perry – Can we make this a reality show?

  5. JulieJulieJulieon 23 Apr 2010 at 2:27 pm

    This is right up there with when O.J. was released, his first public outing was to go see “Showgirls.” At least you could understand where O.J. was coming from, but Nickelback, come on Tiger.

    Tiger, if you pay me $50, I’ll sing along really badly with the radio, certainly that’s better than a Nickelback concert.

  6. Stephon 23 Apr 2010 at 9:02 pm

    I think I love you, Perry.

  7. Adion 24 Apr 2010 at 12:56 am

    It’s amazing how often your opinions coincide with mine, reading this page restores my faith in the species. If i was as wealthy and famous as Tiger Woods i’d be banging supermodels left and right, to hell with what the wife thinks, i keep her in cashmere; let her complain. But there is no reason why anyone should go to a Nickelback concert, that is unless they’re carrying a sniper rifle or a pipe-bomb. I think the only way i could forgive Tiger for this would be if he came out and said something akin to “yeah i was really smashed, and i wound up at a Nickelback concert, i really fucked up” since going to a concert of theirs is right up there on the “you fucked up” list with waking up hung over and next to a porpoise-woman.

  8. Stephon 24 Apr 2010 at 2:19 am

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I like cashmere too.

  9. Perryon 24 Apr 2010 at 2:37 am

    Listy, you start contacting these dimwit “stars”, I’ll start booking plane tickets. People have been waiting for something like this. They need it. It must happen!

  10. You Just Made My List!on 24 Apr 2010 at 11:05 am

    Perry – I’m thinking they all live on an island with only enough food for 2 people. We sit back and watch them fight, kill and eat each other.

  11. Perryon 24 Apr 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Listy- Absolutely! These are the ideas that draw ratings. We must also ensure beforehand that the island we choose is inhabited by indigenous cannibals. You know the type. Body paint, bone through the nose, throwing spears…

    Watching Guy Fieri run for his life from screaming tribesmen would be SO money.

  12. Laurenon 17 Nov 2010 at 5:46 pm

    I was wondering just how LONG it would take for some shit for brains to bring up O.J. because right e-v-e-r-y single story about a black male athlete[even half of one]should merit a comaprison right dumb bitch?!! That goes triple for you Anne of green buttholes!! Please any of you holeir than shitwads ragging on Tiger can eat a big shit sandwich with a side of FUCK OFF!! You are the SAME cunts and assholes who bent over backwards[his favorite position apparently]for sleazy ass Clinton and countless other white male politicians. Not to mention athletes,movie stars,authors,rock starsand reality fools but now all of a sudden you bitches have standards?!! GTFOOHWTB!!!