May 11 2010
Elmo! Elmo and Sesame Street now! But mostly Elmo!
Who the fuck does this asshole think he is?
When did this red piece of shit take over Sesame Street? He strolls around the neighborhood like he’s John Gotti, forcing all other puppets to live under constant fear of being whacked.
Apparently this dick has been around since the early 70s, which is strange because I grew up on Sesame Street in the early/mid 70s and I can’t recall ever seeing his lame ass on my parent’s giant TV with sliding doors so you could make it look like “furniture” when not in use. Yeah nice piece of furniture, a giant wood box in the middle of the room. What, were people supposed to come over and gush over what a lovely wood box you had? Come on people, get your head in the game! But I digress.
The point is, I watched a hell of a lot of Sesame Street in the 70s, partially because back then we had about 5 channels to choose from, but mostly because it kicked ass. Cookie Monster was still existing exclusively on a cookie diet, not this “sometime me eat vegetables” nonsense, Mr. Hooper’s Store was the hottest place on Sesame Street to spot celebrities and motherfucking Snuffleupagus was still only seen by Big Bird God damn it! You know who I don’t remember being awesome, or even around? Elmo! I’m guessing he’s Grover’s gay cousin or something but to be honest, I don’t care to know his background.
Somehow through a series of back-alley deals and intimidation Elmo has risen through the ranks to control the Sesame Street territory. I know I should probably fear for my life for speaking so openly but enough is enough, FUCK ELMO, it’s time to take him out!
As with other shows, the creator dies and it goes all to shit. I guess the producers want to “keep up with the times.” I’m referring of course to shit like teletubbies and all those other dumbass shows that are forced upon our kids!
Elmo is banned from our house. That insipid laugh goes right through me.
Elmo took over like twenty years ago. He made appearances pre-1990, but he really stole the show after that. Like you, I was weaned on the original show and was like, “Hey–who’s the Red Grover?”
Jeff- Elmo is also banned from our house. Smart ass brat always talking in third person like Jimmy from Seinfeld. I figured he was related to that wuss Tellie ya know the red fur and all.
Yeah, what the hell?
Last time I checked in, Sesame Street was an hour long and the whole second half was something called “Elmo’s World”.
This asshole get’s literally half of the fucking show?! No, I say!
Perry – Thanks for ruining my week.
Welcome to 1987.
Bring back Herry and he’ll break Elmo’s kneecaps lickety-split.
My niece has to watch Elmo every night before going to sleep. And Disney owns 90% of all kids programming, scary.
who cares. beat kids
I watched a little bit of sesame street in the 80s, and i haven’t watched much of it since then. Still i don’t really remember much of elmo. The only thing i really remember about elmo is that stupid bullshit in the 90′s over the giggling toy, the one that had people looting wal marts and trampling people. Fuck elmo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYGhmJD9LKc
Just in case you havent watched that video. Good for Elmo haters
Thanks for a lifetime of nightmares.
Awesome! I totally agree here listy. Christ, I have two kids and I am forced to watch this big red asshole all the time. It is just horrible. And why does he have to talk in the fucking third person? “Elmo like Dorothy”, “Elmo like Cookie”…”Elmo like jerking off”.
He is just an awful incarnation. Thanks for the laughs!!! Oh and you inspired me to begin a blog:
http://myguidetoidiots.blogspot.com/
It is nice to vent!!!!!!!!
Erica – I’m sorry that I inspired you to start a blog. You will soon grow to hate it and blame me for ruining your life. Trust me, it will happen!
Uh oh…that does not sound promising! I am sure I will get someone who is like “that is not christian…you suck, etc” But I swear to god I just cannot stand IDIOTS! I will never blame you though, you have enhanced my life and given me new hope!!
I may even start ending my emails with an inspiring message….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I don’t suffer fools gladly but damn if I don’t like Elmo. It helps that I have a young daughter who I only allow to watch an hour of TV a day and Sesame Street is it. None of that Yo Gabba Gabba hipster BS, straight up SS all the way.
You know who sucks? Bert. He’s a downer, hates everything. I also don’t like Mr. Noodle, he’s creepy. I am bummed that everyone on the ‘Street’ can see Snuffleupagus but hey, they don’t keep score at kids soccer and t-ball games anymore either, so everything sucks now.
[...] from the 70s and 80s. OK, I guess the puppets of Sesame Street were bad ass (not that piece of shit Elmo) but most other puppets from that era look like fucking burn victims. Burn victims who want to lure [...]