Jun 15 2010

People who hold up their hand while crossing the street!

Published by at 3:18 am under Jerks

crossing the street with your hand up

Thank you.

Thank you for reminding me to not run you over while you cross the street. I was seconds away from slamming my foot down on the gas pedal and running your cranky ass over when, out of nowhere, BAM you put that hand in my face, commanding me to think twice about the murder I was about to commit. I especially appreciated that you also gave me the stink-eye the entire time you walked from curb to curb as if to say, “I know you wanted to run me over but I forbid it. FORBID IT!”

People are the worst.

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30 comments so far

30 comments to “People who hold up their hand while crossing the street!”

  1. Jeffon 15 Jun 2010 at 4:53 am

    Ahh finally you hit the mark!

    In the same league are people who, even though they don’t know you, make the shhh sign when they’re on their cell phones in public.

  2. JWon 15 Jun 2010 at 6:21 am

    Also – there’s the construction workers who re-route traffic with the double-sided stop/slow signs. Ever notice when they turn the sign to the “stop” side, they hold their hand up, too? Like, oh, thank God you have your hand up just in case I didn’t see the huge red sign above your head that I’ve recognized my entire life as a sign to, ooohhh, I don’t know, STOP.

  3. CreatureofHabiton 15 Jun 2010 at 7:05 am

    But I’ve noticed in Chicago that cars don’t stop at the cross walks. Even though it’s the state law. It’s crazy! It makes you feel like you have to deputize yourself into a crossing guard….. though I’m not likely to hold up my hand, more like my middle finger. Or better yet throw my body onto the hood while screaming at the driver to slow the fuck down when I’m with the babies. 🙂

  4. You Just Made My List!on 15 Jun 2010 at 8:20 am

    Jeff – 1 out of 500 isn’t too bad. FINALLY I did a good job.

    Creature – I have only been in one state where motorists obey the stopping for pedestrians law… California. It’s so strange to stand on the curb and watch all the cars stop for you.

  5. Saraon 15 Jun 2010 at 8:38 am

    I always thought holding my hand up was my “thanks man” kinda acknowledgement. I didn’t realize I was pissing people off. Then I’d do my sad half assed jog across the street to speed up your commute.

    Shit. I made your list

  6. You Just Made My List!on 15 Jun 2010 at 8:45 am

    Sara – Don’t panic yet, you may be in the clear. If you give a little wave and a smile people know you are saying “thanks.” The people I’m referring to are clearly saying “STOP, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE ALREADY STOPPED! Grumble grumble.”

  7. Jim Joneson 15 Jun 2010 at 10:10 am

    They have started putting up stop signs at crosswalks where I live, no body pays attention to them either.

  8. kenon 15 Jun 2010 at 10:12 am

    In the same league as hand signals while walking driving: assholes who don’t give you a ‘courtesy wave’ when you let them merge or enter the traffic stream. I’d say 95% of people give you the wave but that 5% piss me off.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 15 Jun 2010 at 10:17 am

    Non-wavers are the worst people in the world and they should all die. I HATE them!

  10. Tommyon 15 Jun 2010 at 10:37 am

    You’re right lister, california is the best. Furthermore, the best thing to do is rev the engine when they put up the hand. That makes them reevaluate the power of their puny hand

  11. SanFranon 15 Jun 2010 at 11:00 am

    Even though yes, typically, motorists stop for pedestrians here – it doesn’t stop them from smugly holding up their hand – but here, it’s in this dismissive way that makes you want to mow them down, Maximum Overdrive style!


    It’s also noteworthy that in some California cities, like most of LA – pedestrians can get a big citation from the cops for J-Walking.

  12. CalifornianInExileon 15 Jun 2010 at 2:01 pm

    One of the reasons Californians stop for pedestrians is that a cop can cite them for J-walking AND you for not stopping for them. Depending on the city, they’ll cite you even if the person is obviously waiting in the center median for traffic to pass. But hey, we still got the right turn on red and that awesome stop sign thing everyone is so jealous of….

  13. You Just Made My List!on 15 Jun 2010 at 2:05 pm

    What’s the awesome stop sign thing?

  14. kenon 15 Jun 2010 at 3:59 pm

    Yeah, now I’m curious about the awesome stop sign thing.

  15. SanFranon 15 Jun 2010 at 5:11 pm

    I call them Stoptionals out here.

    Others call them the “California Roll” –

    signs are merely suggestions.

    What really gets my goat though is the completely lack of blinker usage, until half-way through the fucking turn. I know WHAT you are doing, asshole… how about a little indication of what you’re ABOUT TO DO?


  16. You Just Made My List!on 15 Jun 2010 at 5:17 pm

    SanFran – Yes, the turn signal going on as soon as the light turns green is one of the things in life that could possibly convince me to commit murder.

  17. SanFranon 15 Jun 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Listy: come to San Francisco. We’ll go on a rampage. I can guarantee some collateral damage to the hipster population, too… you know, should you need some more incentive.

  18. You Just Made My List!on 15 Jun 2010 at 8:49 pm

    I’ll bring my ironic mustache trimmer!

  19. R-Boneon 15 Jun 2010 at 10:55 pm

    When are you going to write about people that answer the phone to tell you they don’t have time to talk? Or people that email you asking you to email someone for them because they don’t have time to email them themselves? THESE ARE THE REAL ISSUES WE FACE!

  20. SanFranon 15 Jun 2010 at 11:14 pm

    Listy: when are you going to write about people who tell you what to write about?

  21. Ericaon 16 Jun 2010 at 1:50 am

    Uh, Listy, have you not visited the great state of Washington yet??? You think California cow-tows to their pedestrians…well we fucking give them BIG YELLOW FLAGS to hold up with their god damned hand as they cross the precious street! These flags are at almost every corner here, it is truly insane.

    Don’t believe me, here is a pic:


    They even have a fucking name…PED FLAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jun 2010 at 8:28 am

    R-Bone – I just head about a guy who demands you CALL him after you send him an “important” email so he knows am important email is waiting for him.

    Erica – PED FLAGS? PED FLAGS? PED FLAGS??? Hippies!!!!!!!

  23. CreatureofHabiton 16 Jun 2010 at 9:40 am

    Listy…. come hang out here. You can’t get anywhere quickly because everyone stops for pedestrians. Even if they jaywalk (which I think is total bullshit).

  24. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jun 2010 at 9:43 am

    Creature – What’s this world coming to?

  25. Ericaon 16 Jun 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Yeah, you haven’t lived until you have seen some ancient old fucker crossing the street with a PED FLAG!!!!!!! Might as well paint a bulls eye on them…

    And don’t get me started on the cyclist laws here. Your head would spin around and fly off your fucking shoulders! Just know that cyclists have lobby’s created here to classify them as VEHICLES. They get right in front of your real vehicle and act like “Hey what the fuck? I am cycling here at 10 MPH in a 45 MPH zone, back off!”


  26. Ericaon 16 Jun 2010 at 6:18 pm

    OMG, one other thing and then my rant is done…did you happen to see the VIDEO they created for senior citizens to tell them HOW TO USE FUCKING PED FLAGS!! This is on TV here (get a vomit bucket out):


  27. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jun 2010 at 6:54 pm

    Erica – Thanks for the FUCKING NIGHTMARES!

  28. Munchieson 16 Jun 2010 at 7:51 pm

    Erica, that is so disgusting. Those ridiculous things have not made it int. Sno. Co. Yet, but if they do I’m going to steal and burn them all.

    The bike thing, nothing infuriates me more than bikes on roads. And the actual riders of the bikes. Jerks.

  29. Ericaon 16 Jun 2010 at 10:20 pm

    Munchies – if they do get up to you in Sno Co let me know and I will drive up with a tank of gasoline and help you! Molotov cocktails all around!!

    Listy – sorry…I too am now having nightmares about Larry “the dummy” in the fucking Jason Vorhees mask! WTF was that?? Christ.

  30. CreatureofHabiton 22 Jun 2010 at 7:00 am

    Muchies – I hate the riders too. Why do they wear all the fucking gear? Do they think Lance is commuting with them to the office? Give me a fucking break. I understand going for a 50 mile ride out in the country, but commuting to work does not require those stupid ass shirts and a camelback. Get over yourselves, bikejerks!