Jun 24 2010

Comcast!

Published by at 3:57 am under Jerks

I’m writing this from my phone because Comcast is shoving the internet up its own ass! I’ve been without an internet connection for over 14 hours now and it’s seriously cramping my style. How will I keep up with every single cute thing my Facebook friends’ kids say? Don’t even get me started on an ENTIRE DAY without porn! I hate you Comcast, I want my porn back!

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23 comments so far

23 comments to “Comcast!”

  1. Jeffon 24 Jun 2010 at 7:35 am

    OMG you won’t even know what your 3rd grade teacher had for breakfast!!!!

    How about updating yourself to ‘Listy 2005’ and getting a 3G phone? That way you’re *always on* which your Facebook lifestyle now requires.

  2. Paul in Saint Paulon 24 Jun 2010 at 8:46 am

    Holy shit. The twins’ T-ball game got rained out, again, and Michelle is at her wit’s end! Nate wishes this whole World Cup thing would go away so the news would make more time for baseball. Steph is thinking about Panera for lunch today, and she cannot BELIEVE what happened on The Bachelorette. Also, Michael reached a new level in Mafia Wars, and Sergio just sent you A Warm Hug from Pooh-Bearâ„¢.

    There’s your facebook update.

    I’ll work on the porn later. I’m thinking naughty nurses for today.

  3. billmigukon 24 Jun 2010 at 8:52 am

    Poor bastard…I can’t imagine a day without my beloved porn. What does one do without instant access to chesty Japanese schoolgirls giving each other octopus enemas?

  4. You Just Made My List!on 24 Jun 2010 at 9:07 am

    Jeff – I have an iPhone, but writing an entire post on it sounds too annoying to attempt. I did my best.

    Paul – I was JUST talking about naughty nurses last night.

    Bill – I have had to resort to using my private stash of porn saved on my computer. It just feels wrong though.

  5. rachelon 24 Jun 2010 at 10:17 am

    um. why aren’t we FB friends??

  6. SanFranon 24 Jun 2010 at 10:52 am

    never mind. you probably won’t be able to read this comment anyway.

  7. Tommyon 24 Jun 2010 at 10:57 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss

  8. ComcastMarkon 24 Jun 2010 at 11:41 am

    Sorry for the trouble. Send us an email. We will assist.

    Mark Casem
    Comcast Corp.
    National Customer Operations
    We_can_help@cable.comcast.com

  9. CDBon 24 Jun 2010 at 12:32 pm

    Mark, how’s he supposed to send an email when his connection is down?

  10. SanFranon 24 Jun 2010 at 12:46 pm

    IT’S A TRAP!

  11. Jonathanon 24 Jun 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Who cares about the stupid fucking World Cup??? Can you please write a post about how awful and boring soccer is?

  12. Xinaon 24 Jun 2010 at 3:34 pm

    That’s too bad cuz I just sent you a graphic video of what happened when me and two of my girlfriends had too much to drink. I guess you’ll just have to miss that one.

  13. Ericaon 24 Jun 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Listy – Comcast has been on MY list for 5 fucking years now! Our supposed “Xfinity” premium service (that we pay fucking $290/month for) is FUCKING GARBAGE!!!!!!! We bundle everything with these mouth breathers and our service is spotty at best. On-Demand with them is the worst though…that goes out EVERY god-damned day.

    I tried to contact our city planner here to get them to respond to Google’s RFI for Google Fiber (basically it will deliver speeds up to 1GB per second,insanely fast, in selected towns in the US) here. But apparently I needed to go give multiple blow-jobs, hand-jobs and anal to the entire city council! I was up for it…my husband not so much.

  14. SanFranon 24 Jun 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Erica: you pay how much for your monthly at-home entertainment and connectivity?

    Do you live some place where it snows every fucking day and you can’t go outside for fear of being shot through the heart, and you’re to blame darlin’, you give love a bad name?

    Ditch that shit and go outside or something.

  15. Ericaon 24 Jun 2010 at 9:11 pm

    SanFran – yup, I give love a BAAD name! The main reason for the exorbitant rate (I don’t deny it sounds insane) is we have everything bundled…phone, internet, tv. And with 4 HD DVR’s, plus the upgraded T3 speed access point router it is a mother fucker. We run some Xbox testing here too so we need shitloads of bandwidth. But the other option for our needs is a dedicated line and that would be about $5000K per month for a T3. That aint happenin anytime soon!

    But I will take to the streets on my penny farthing wings of gold this summer…I can promise you that!

  16. You Just Made My List!on 24 Jun 2010 at 11:26 pm

    Rachel – Are you sure you are ready for the commitment?

  17. rachelon 24 Jun 2010 at 11:37 pm

    abso-effing-lootly!!!!! fb me!

  18. Ericaon 25 Jun 2010 at 1:33 am

    Listy…I want to be your fucking FB friend too! I promise lots of updates about my bowels, my children’s bowels and my dog’s bowels. All things that should be irresistible to you…:)

  19. You Just Made My List!on 25 Jun 2010 at 8:11 am

    If I don’t know the email address you use on FB I can’t find you.

  20. Ericaon 25 Jun 2010 at 11:30 am

    Listy – it is the same as my Yahoo email just @gmail.com

  21. noodleson 25 Jun 2010 at 1:45 pm

    What? I thought you loved reading all the cute things my kids said on FB. I’m gonna go slit my wrists now.

  22. Melanieon 02 Jul 2010 at 8:38 am

    Listy…I want to be your fucking FB friend too! I promise lots of updates about my bowels, my children’s bowels and my dog’s bowels. All things that should be irresistible to you…:)

  23. You Just Made My List!on 03 Jul 2010 at 11:07 am

    Melanie – What’s Fucking FaceBook? It sounds like a site I should be a member of. Is it like FB but with more fucking?