Jun 29 2010
M. Night Shyamalan and his shit movies!
Bruce Willis is really a ghost. Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson are really superheroes. Water kills aliens and Mel Gibson’s wife tells him to swing some dumb baseball bat on her deathbed. The village is really an experiment and the movie actually takes place in modern times. The lady in the water is, I don’t know, magic or something. Plants are making people commit suicide.
SPOILER ALERT! Whoops, I did that wrong.
Feel free to send me thank you cards and gifts for saving you from wasting several hours of your life sitting through this bullshit. I prefer vintage acoustic guitars. (No Spanish or classical guitars please and obviously pre-1970)
First of all, how did a guy named M. Night Shyamymallanam7an even find work in Hollywood? What ever happened to directors with names like JOHN FORD and COEN BROTHERS? To be honest, I don’t have the five minutes it takes to say M. Night Shyamama$llayaymama, I’ve got shit to do, pal. I have a recall on my car to repair something that might cause my car to burst into flames and it has gone ignored for over 4 years, what makes you think I’m going to have time to pronounce your fucked-up name?
Remember when we all saw The Sixth Sense for the first time? After the movie we walked to our cars excitedly talking over each other, saying things like, “I never saw it coming” and “that kid who saw dead people was sooooo good” and “I totally can’t wait to rent this at Blockbuster on VHS video tape format so I can look for clues.” Well, we were a bunch of assholes. The sooner we can admit it the sooner we can begin the healing process.
UPDATE. Watch this.
the sixth sense was awsome,the last air bender looks awsome and u smell like poop.
Wrong. The last air bender looks like something a dog shit out, ate the shit, then puked out that shit, ate the puke, and then shit out again. Hey, know what sucks? The last air bender.
Let’s hold hands. All of us.
My brother is realy into the cartoon Avatar. And he’s realy pissed they didn’t just make good cartoon blockbuster of that…..same with Dragonball Z.
FACT: The transformers cartoon movie is 50 times more awesome then the real/CGI versions. Of course alot of that is nostalgia talking, nostalgia for Weird Al Yankovic sound tracks and Orson Wells voice overs.
you have a Pontiac to? or is just every brand of car getting 4 year late engine fire recalls.
Pigdor – I’ve been bending air all morning thanks to the tacos I ate yesterday.
Sara – Does M. Night Shammamamlalylylyaaa do a cartoon called Avatar? I drive an Explorer. Great car, other than the catching on fire thing.
no no, the Last of the Air Bender movie is based on this cult cartoon Avatar. Which has been around for a long time. But they couldn’t call the movie Avatar, something about some other low budjet movie with the same name
Was that a secret clever 7-11 joke thrown in to his name?
I’ve never been more envious of zombies than when all of those people jumped off the buildings in the happening….why couldn’t I be the one dying.
in my house we refer to him as “Shama-lama-ding-dong”.
i am convinced that every 4th of July he steals ideas from the Twilight Zone Marathon. (coming up!) and he ain’t got nothin’ on the original twisted-ending, bad-ass, Rod Serling.
RACHEL!!! I was going to say the same thing; “I call him M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong”! Let’s be friends!!
M. Night Shyamalan is the David Blaine of movie directors. i don’t even know exactly what i mean by that, but somehow it makes sense in my gut.
Even a cinematic god like Scorsese isn’t immune to the Shamalamadingdong mystique, have you seen the piece of sh*t that is “Shutter Island”??!! A total M. Night ending. Actually also like M. Night, it looked great had good actors but just had a crap ending.
I work with a ton of Eastern Indians so the name is pretty standard to me. I actually work with someone named Kwakuu Simabankim Jabronipringprong (this is not a joke). So the Shymalmanan thing sounds positively easy to me!
But yes, M. Night is a fucking dick weed.
Erica – pringprong?
Sara: How is a wildly popular cartoon that aired on Nickelodeon “cult”? I think you might be thinking of “well-known and recent.” And they should have called the movie Avatar anyway. It was a pussy move to drop the “Avatar” part of “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Not that I could give a shit about the movie or the show either way.
Dang, I sound hell of bitter today. Oops.
Ken, thank you for rightly pointing out the Shamalamripoff that was Shutter Island. I called The Twist about fifteen minutes in and then really hoped, for the next two hours, that I was wrong. It could have been a really good, hard-boiled noir thriller. Instead, it was a soap-opera-ish wreck. Max von Sydow was in it! Why waste HIS time? That movie was shit. I enjoyed The Sixth Sense immensely, but dozed off during the Bruce Willis/Samuel L. Jackson one. M Night seems determined to bore us into submission.
Yes, pringprong is the last part of that. Jabroni cracks me up too! Put it together and you have one FUCKED up name. It is super fun when he gets on conference calls and uses the WHOLE NAME.
My husband used to work with someone named Malachi Bozo. Last name, bad enough but to go Children of the Corn for the first name is child abuse.
I feel like we are all virtually holding hands.
I would be scared shitless of working with someone named Malachi. Did he have red hair?
Creature – no I believe he had super white blond hair (from what I remember my husband telling me). But in my dreams I imagine him with a long red mullet, scythe in hand and an owl perched on his shoulder…
Super white hair? Like an albino? That’s way fucking scarier. Jesus. That would keep me up at night.
There was a super-goth albino in my old neighborhood. I was certain he was a praticing vampire. He had super-white hair down to his ass and red eyes. All black/leather/skulls and shit. Freaked. Me. Out.
Goth Albino? I almost like it. Almost.
Malachi was of Afrikaans descent, so SUPER white but not albino. The name mixed with the Afrikaaner accent was pretty scary according to my husband. And they worked together at a Big 5 consulting firm…how did he get through the interview process with that fucking name?????
I have never heard of a Goth albino! That must have been surreal. Do you have any pictures? That would be awesome.
M. Night managed to take a perfectly written cartoon series and totally screw it up. He should go choke on a chicken bone and stop making movies. If they somehow manage to make the next chapter in the Avatar series I hope to god they don’t let him anywhere near the movie. If they do I refuse to spend money to watch M. Night screw up again. He need to just disappear into obscurity
yeah cuz “john ford” or “coen” are inherently better names. racist much?
ignorant asshole.
Angela – Understand sarcasm much? You fucking idiot. (That last part was not sarcastic)
hey i loved the cartoon last airbender but he blew the movie bad! he basically gave a bad summary of the first season. it was jumping from one story line to another and the twilight dude blew hard! he was garbage! The only two good parts were the slum dog millionaire guy, he did great, and Seychelle Gabriel …. overall it was a D…maybe..they need to remake it with michael bay or peter jackson directing it…..Oh and the bending in it is weak!
I really wish this ass hadn’t ‘produced, written, and directed’ probably one of the worst adaptations of a cartoon into a live action film ever. I mean he had arguable one of the best cartoons with one very compelling and honest story lines ever only to have it hashed out like bull in the theater. Hell I could have done a better job Paramount. Let me direct it in five years. Seriously. Lousy job from a lousy director. I really hope his career burns out and he gets forgotten because he is a waste of time. The best part of the movie was the Rango trailer. I didn’t even think Momo or Appa were that good. Forget all about the racebending, this shit was awful.
M Night does indeed suck and Airbender is the worst movie he has ever created which really isn’t saying much. You know it sucks when the actors can’t even properly pronounce other characters’ names let alone their own names. I judge people by what they think of M Night and Signs. If they like M Night and Signs, they are fucking morons in my book.
Just get rid of all these indians and wannabes from Hollywood and real movies and send them back to Blow-my wood so they can just focus on their song and dance shticks.
It’s so freaking irritating how this guy thinks he is so good-when its so clear he’s a hack who enjoyed some success from stealing other people’s ideas.
Unoriginal and unf@$%ing talented.
Go back to the 7-11 you used to work at you one trick pony!
Bard Master – WOW! Can you please argue for the other side, you’re making ME look bad.
I absolutley love the cartoon version of avatar the last air bender they really should’ve just let James Cameron make Gold out of this instead of the poop-a-thon shama-lama-ding-dong made – so disgusted. I just hope that M.Night does’nt get the chance to butcher the 2nd and 3rd. does that guy not read blogs and fgacebook post and twitter and websites like this and know that we Hate him? Bard Master that was kinda Racist ….chill
agreeing with Jake and johnny i love the cartoon but micheal bay could’ve made this movie well. we should all just protest and demand a remake immediately. They pronounced the names wrong, jackson rathborne is a sh*t actor(like him as jasper though), and so is nicole peltz just gabage, over all it was a Hoorribbllllle recap of season 1 why was Haru a little child? why was the bending so sloooowww? This could’ve been better. this should’ve been better. M. night was already on my list. Underlined. Now he’s highlighted, Sharped, embossed and cut ouut of that list onto a worse list.
Hey spunkmaster….
Seriously? Don’t spoil a movie that’s only been out for like 5 days.
At least have the goddamn common-courtesy to at least put a spoiler alert BEFORE you ruin it for someone else.
I realize the movie MIGHT just suck severe donkeyballs, but that’s not the issue. The issue is you, being a cuntwaffle amateur writer who cannot edit his posts properly.
Douche.
? – Cuntwaffle? I honestly don’t know if I’m the cuntwaffle you are referring to but if you are a woman I would like to ask your hand in marriage.
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/post/127773-the-curious-case-and-continued-disgrace-of-m-night-shyamalan/
this guy is a fuckin idiot
signs & the village were literally THE stupidest movies i have ever seen & i knew that as soon as i heard he was producing airbender it would suck balls!
airbender is the best cartoon & he killed it. i really REALLY hope he doesnt produce anymore cuz he’s just putting a bad name to such a good cartoon
someone really needs to let this guy know that he needs a new job cuz producing is DEFINATLY NOT his thing!
I can’t keep reading the comments, I’m laughing so hard, at work.
thanks guys.
I knew it was going to suck as soon as I saw ‘by m night shama-llama’ in the previews. What did I do? I didn’t support his delusions of grandeur of having any talent at all by NOT going to see it.
Shyamalan sucks. After The Sixth Sense his movies were garbage. Signs was ok until we find out that water kills the aliens, and for the love of God you can see that Earth is mostly water from space. After that his movies have gotten worse and worse. What a clown this guy is. Why he isn’t banished from Hollywood forever is beyond me.
Ok the sixth sense you can say was good, but that’s as far as you can go. Does he pay to make all his movies himself, or is there actually someone out there dumb enough to give him some money to shit out another shitty ass film. I really have a hard time believing that his movies can make a profit, cause everyone I have ever talked has said they would rather take a flaming arrow up the ass than sit through another one of his painful films. He has to be the worst director (other than porn, and some independent films) in the world. Words don’t describe the anger I get when I hear his name. Anyone in the movie biz beware, if his M. Night’s name even comes close to your film it will suck big donkey dick. That is all.
Daren – How dare you insult porn! Now say you’re sorry to porn.
Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!