Sep 09 2008

Line beards!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It,Jerks,Why?!?

Seriously, why? I relate to this kind of person so little that I don’t even know what to say. Come on, what is the point? These turds look like they are wearing masks – masks labeled “Douchebag Mask.”

The thing that fascinates me the most is the time and attention it must take to keep this ridiculous look maintained. You know the saying “you can’t polish a turd,” well this is sort of like “you can’t shave a piece of shit without it looking even shittier.” Why are people shaving SHIT?

After searching for photos of these creepy jerks for the last 20 minutes I just want to go cry in the shower until I fall alseep. I feel dirty and ashamed. If you could see my emotional state it would look like this…

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28 comments so far

28 comments to “Line beards!”

  1. Creature of Habiton 09 Sep 2008 at 8:23 am

    Bahahaaaa- please tell me that video was from the 80’s, and not the 90’s. Cuz it makes a difference!!

  2. LLGon 09 Sep 2008 at 10:30 am

    What’s a Tuesday without line beards and 90210 clips?
    Is this what people are referring to when they talk about man-scaping? Notice also, the obligatory line-beard head-tilt seen in both pictures. Plus, they can show their creativity and individuality by mixing up the chin designs. Rock on, douchebags.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 09 Sep 2008 at 11:13 am

    I second that emotion – Rock on douchebags in that douchey way only a true douche can douche! You creep us out but we still need you in our lives!

  4. deadlytoqueon 09 Sep 2008 at 2:20 pm

    The thing that troubles me is that if these eejits can grow a beard, why they don’t just rock the beard? I know a lot of good people, men and women alike, who would kill to be able to go bearded. And these fuckers are wasting it!

  5. You Just Made My List!on 09 Sep 2008 at 2:30 pm

    There are starving kids in China who can’t grow beards, so you grow a full beard mister!

  6. rxon 09 Sep 2008 at 6:24 pm

    or as my other favourite hate-list blog called it, the r’n’beard: http://tinythingsihate.blogspot.com/2007/11/0059-r-n-beard.html

  7. You Just Made My List!on 09 Sep 2008 at 6:37 pm

    RX, funny. I think my favorite term for these dumb beards is “chin strap.”

  8. PPon 18 Mar 2009 at 10:09 am

    How much “time and attention” do you guys spend on whining about guys who take time to care about their looks? Think about it… You’re ridiculous!

    P.S. I have a chinstrap beard.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 18 Mar 2009 at 10:24 am

    PP – Personally I try to spend about 2 hours a day whining about guys like you. I usually get up in the morning and whine for about 15 minutes before breakfast and then whine for another 30-45 minutes while reading the paper. I like to try and and whine for another hour or so before bed but sometimes I’m just too tired from being awesome all day.

    Please send some photos of your line beard, I want to learn how to be more desirable to women.

    Thanks!

  10. Trenton 24 Apr 2010 at 2:12 am

    Ya’ll niggaz iz gay ma nigga…

  11. You Just Made My List!on 24 Apr 2010 at 11:03 am

    Trent – Is that Spanish? French?

  12. Steveon 11 Nov 2010 at 1:02 am

    Dude, you totally just saved my life. I was thinking about douchebagging my face and actually searched for “douchebag line beard” on Yahoo, since Google is evil, and this was the first result. I don’t think I quite appreciated how douchebaggy a douchebag line beard really is. You really put it in a way that convinced me to avoid such douchebaggery. I’m stronger for having read this. Thank you.

  13. You Just Made My List!on 11 Nov 2010 at 7:14 am

    Steve – I pray this is a true story because it would make all the time I have put into this crappy website finally worth it. This must be how a doctor feels when he saves a like.

  14. ickyon 04 Jan 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Another name for the line beard is ‘jock strap’.
    How fitting.

  15. Lauraon 26 Jun 2011 at 1:48 am

    I can’t even begin to say how much I dislike this sort of beard.

  16. Mikeon 11 Jul 2011 at 4:10 pm

    A beard should be something to be proud of, not something a ten-year-old could draw with a felt-tip pen on a kiwi fruit.

    And as for douchebaggery, skinny jeans drive me nuts!
    http://hate-list.blogspot.com/2011/07/hatefully-stylish.html

  17. Joshon 12 Aug 2011 at 12:19 am

    I have a chin strap and I like it, but that’s just my opinion, to each his own.

  18. You Just Made My List!on 12 Aug 2011 at 7:54 am

    Josh – Oh josh. Sweet sweet innocent Josh. Not only did you waste your time growing and grooming a miniature beard, but you actually took the time to defend them on the internet. This makes me incredibly sad.

  19. Joshon 13 Aug 2011 at 2:21 am

    Lol, aww come on now, don’t be sad, it’ll be alright. I was just saying I like mine, just personal preference.

  20. Michaelon 15 Aug 2011 at 1:34 am

    Did anyone ever see the movie Gladiator? Russell Crowe had a chinstrap beard and he was a badass

  21. Tinaon 15 Aug 2011 at 1:41 am

    I saw Gladiator, Russell was hot too!

  22. Nickon 18 Sep 2011 at 10:35 pm

    you people are fucking dumb, if someone want’s to grow a chin strap than they can, yet you moron’s gather around like you’re all going to go on a killing spree over this, the fact is it is not your life so why would you care? Is it that you’re jealous that we can grow facial hair? Or is it that your lives are so pathetic you have to hate how people care about how they look with their styles…. You people are dumb and pathetic…

  23. You Just Made My List!on 18 Sep 2011 at 10:43 pm

    “yet you moron’s gather”

    Thanks for this. Funniest thing I have seen all week.

  24. Adamon 04 Oct 2011 at 11:51 pm

    Seriously, have you people nothing better to do with your time than to talk shit on the internet?

  25. You Just Made My List!on 05 Oct 2011 at 3:39 am

    Well, sometimes I find some spare time to watch hardcore Eastern European porn on the internet, but mostly I just talk shit. Now, go comb your line.

  26. Adamon 05 Oct 2011 at 7:42 pm

    That was funny, didn’t mean no offense by the way

  27. Joshon 05 Nov 2011 at 10:38 pm

    Having recently shaved off my chinstrap I feel like I’ve stepped out of the douchebag category and into something better. Glad to be rid of that damn thing

  28. You Just Made My List!on 05 Nov 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Josh – Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.