Aug 26 2010

People who are too fucking lazy to take their Christmas decorations down!

Published by at 3:41 am under Jerks

christmas decorations and lights still up in summer

Merry Christmas, can someone turn up the air conditioning?

I realize the NASCAR season eats up a lot of your time and now that Cheaters is on twice a day it’s hard find a free moment but maybe it’s time to put your snowman and candy canes away. Either that or just burn your house down. Just burn it to the ground and walk away.

I recently read that a house with Christmas lights dangling from its sad gutters in August has a 36% chance of containing a fully-clothed corpse sitting in a chair and is four times more likely to have at least one bathtub that is used as a toilet. I think it was in Newsweek or possibly The Economist.

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24 comments so far

24 comments to “People who are too fucking lazy to take their Christmas decorations down!”

  1. Benon 26 Aug 2010 at 6:39 am

    I believe that article also mentioned that there’s a 27% chance that 59% of the inhabitants were inbreed, unless I’m thinking of something else.

  2. Paul from Saint Paulon 26 Aug 2010 at 8:45 am

    Really, it seems like everybody’s got a dead body in their house these days:

    I think it’s just another one of those Japanese fads, like Hello Kitty! or love pillows:

  3. AddyTxon 26 Aug 2010 at 9:40 am

    I discovered this blog a few months ago, and it is seriously the funniest fucking thing ever! Ohhh man!

  4. You Just Made My List!on 26 Aug 2010 at 9:44 am

    AddyTx – I agree, I’m awesome.

  5. pigdooron 26 Aug 2010 at 3:37 pm

    Really? this is what you came up with?

  6. You Just Made My List!on 26 Aug 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Pigdoor – Explain yourself.

  7. pigdooron 26 Aug 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Explain YOURself!!!!

  8. Ericaon 26 Aug 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Paul – yeah those wacky Japanese and their dead bodies & love pillows! Here is another cracker for you:

    I swear, are they churning out serial killers over there???

  9. bozworthyon 26 Aug 2010 at 4:38 pm

    I have a spare bedroom into which the fully decorated christmas tree is dragged into or out of as necessary. Decorating it used to be fun as a kid but now it’s a pain. If these people didn’t have dead bodies piled up in their spare bedrooms this probably wouldn’t have been an issue.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 26 Aug 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Pigdoor – I fucking rule. Your turn.

  11. pigdooron 26 Aug 2010 at 8:00 pm

    you cannot explain the unexplainable..such is pigdoor.

  12. Paul from Saint Paulon 26 Aug 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Erica, really, the Japanese practically have the market cornered in so many unpredictable ways. What the fuck is going on over there?

    This training video really might have been even more useful during all the toilet talk a few posts ago.

  13. Ericaon 26 Aug 2010 at 10:21 pm

    Paul – I am convinced that the Japanese are quietly amassing an army of massive Hello Kitty! cyborgs that will eventually take over Earth. They are hiding said cyborgs in Mt. Fuji where they feed them a mixture of molten lava, fugu, wasabi beer and tree fungus to make them impervious to any elements. It is only a matter of time before we are all cutely and huggably killed by Sanrio’s fucking death machines!

    Pigdoor – did you lose your binky and blankie?

  14. pigdooron 27 Aug 2010 at 1:57 am

    oooooo I gonna BEAT you up Erica!!!!

  15. Erinon 27 Aug 2010 at 8:17 am

    Great timing for this post Listy… I was actually stopped at a red light last night on my way home and saw flashing blue and white lights behind me and thought to my self, “Shit I am getting pulled over!” but in all actuality it was the rusted out piece of crap trailor with it’s make shift 3 season porch parked beside the road with it’s Christmas lights on blink mode. Effin A-holes!

  16. Stephon 27 Aug 2010 at 10:38 pm

    What is your problem, Erica? I think you are a stupid piece of shit. Au bien tot, fuck stick.

  17. Ericaon 27 Aug 2010 at 11:17 pm

    Pigdoor – I like the cut of your gib…:)

  18. Stephon 28 Aug 2010 at 2:28 am


  19. Stephon 28 Aug 2010 at 3:18 am



  20. JulieJulieJulieon 28 Aug 2010 at 10:11 am

    My next door neighbors kept their front porch decorated for Christmas year round. They also had so much other, non-Christmas crap on the porch and their “backyard” (i.e., a crumble of scattered concrete that used to be a car pad and sad, faded astroturf that served as grass for the kids) they got cited at least twice by the city.

    While they finally cleaned up the shit, the Christmas lights twinkled on and the creepy Santa inflatable remained positioned near the front door. You just couldn’t take away their Christmas spirit – or at least their Christmas shit, anyway.

    My neighbors lost their house last year in a Sheriff’s sale (big surprise – not) and yuppies bought the house and fixed it up. And have replaced the obnoxious Christmas display with an obnoxiously big Mercedes SUV parked out front. I’ll have to check to see what kind of sticker they have on the back windshield and get back to you…

  21. Jonathanon 30 Aug 2010 at 3:57 pm

    This post sounds like a Cliff Yablonski rant. I miss ol’ Cliffie.

  22. You Just Made My List!on 30 Aug 2010 at 4:57 pm

    I have to admit that I have no idea who Cliff Yablonski is. I shall google now.

  23. Jonathanon 02 Sep 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Well, did you find Cliff and enjoy his rants??

  24. Nameless L.O.S.T. Extra - Soon deadon 13 Feb 2011 at 4:34 am

    Wait wait wait… How is a fully clothed corpse a bad thing? Wouldn’t that be vastly preferable to a partially or completely nude corpse? Because you know what’s going on there… weird shit man. Weird shit.