Jul 18 2008

Being reminded mites live on my body!

Published by at 10:58 am under Jerks

Why is it that every couple years some science program on TV has to remind me that my body is covered in harmless microscopic mites? Do I really need to know my god damn eyebrows are teeming with tiny jerks eating my dead skin cells? Stop it already, enough! Oh, and don’t forget your bed sheets and pillows are covered too!

I have to go barf. I’m sure there are mites in that too.

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5 comments so far

5 comments to “Being reminded mites live on my body!”

  1. Paul Q in St. Paulon 18 Jul 2008 at 4:59 pm

    It gets better. Last year I discovered that I was severely allergic to the dust mites, or, to be more exact, their shit, which, as far as I can tell, is sort of regurgitated waste from some mouth-like organ. So now I have to have special sheets and pillows that have to washed in scalding hot water. One allergist said that over 10% of the weight of a well-used pillow was dust mites, decaying dust mite corpses, and dust mite waste. Sleep tight and snuggle that pillow!

  2. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jul 2008 at 5:57 pm

    As soon as I’m done barfing I am going to burn my bed. Mite SHIT? How do you go through your day to day activities knowing mites are regurgitating shit on you while you sleep? Does this mean they are shitting on me too? I guess so. I’m killing myself.

  3. Garrenon 20 Jul 2008 at 1:57 am

    This is your best one yet.

  4. Bennon 30 Sep 2008 at 5:07 am

    You’ve got them living in your eyelash pore-deals, too. That’s why your eyelashes fall out: the mites are moving, or there are too many in one pore-deal.

  5. LLGon 30 Sep 2008 at 11:53 am

    I don’t think I’m ever going to be the same again knowing there’s mite shit being regurgitated on to my pillow. And the next time an eyelash falls out, 10 to 1, I faint from pure disgust and horror.