Sep 17 2010


Published by at 3:40 am under Jerks

I hate coconuts, coconuts suck

You son-of-a-bitch.

Just look at how cool you think you are, coconut. You think just because you are occasionally filled with boobs we should all give a shit about you. Here’s an idea, don’t taste like paste.

I sure do love foods that require power tools to eat. After 30 minutes of pounding and smashing, how do you reward me… with your shitty “milk” and your shittier “meat.” Fuck off you round jerk.

You ruin everything you touch (with ONE exception). Oh, and you kill people! All you fans of coconuts just think about that for a second, your precious coconut with the cute little face on the shell wouldn’t think twice about killing your stupid ass.

So if you want to eat an impossible to open, shitty tasting seed with a crappy texture, have fun, I’ll be eating a delicious pluot in my car.

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62 comments so far

62 comments to “Coconuts!”

  1. You Just Made My List!on 18 Sep 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Somehow my site has turned into a personal social network for Pigdoor and Lola. Guys, PLEASE limit the comments to the subject at hand and avoid randomly commenting back and forth about things. This isn’t facebook and I don’t want it to be.

    The Management.

  2. lolaon 18 Sep 2010 at 6:28 pm

    Erica please tell me you were not refering to me as the second poster. I am new here and will banter with anyone that will give me the time of day. pigdoor I meant no offense to you there Maybe coconuts aren’t the best topic for me.

  3. lolaon 18 Sep 2010 at 6:30 pm

    Sorry won’t happen again

  4. Ericaon 18 Sep 2010 at 8:21 pm

    Lola – no! I was not talking about you…there is another poster on here that I was referring to. She is hopefully gone now…she was a total parasite. I have enjoyed your posts but do not get sucked into pd’s vortex. And maybe just a few posts per topic…:)

  5. lolaon 18 Sep 2010 at 8:29 pm

    got it! 🙂

  6. Jayon 18 Sep 2010 at 11:42 pm

    I agree that dealing with a raw coconut is not as much fun as it first appears, but the smell of coconut tanning oil alone is divine. And I love Mounds, Almond Joy, coconut cream pie, all the Thai food that uses coconut milk etc…

  7. pigdooron 19 Sep 2010 at 11:52 am

    You really hurt my feelings Erica…I mean coconuts, coconuts, coconuts.

  8. JulieJulieJulieon 19 Sep 2010 at 9:09 pm

    Listy – thanks for being the “mean daddy” and trying to keep the kids under control. 🙂

  9. Amy Louiseon 23 Sep 2010 at 5:41 am

    ” I like pinacolaaadaaas and getting caaaught in the rain…”

  10. You Just Made My List!on 23 Sep 2010 at 7:53 am

    I like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.

  11. Fredon 23 Sep 2010 at 10:11 pm

    Uh, yea. This is the Editor in Chief over at The Onion. We’re gonna pass. Keep in touch.

  12. You Just Made My List!on 23 Sep 2010 at 11:18 pm

    Fred – Try harder next time. Tool.