Sep 12 2008

People with giant ear tube piercings!

Published by at 3:00 am under Jerks

Oh brother. I run the risk of barfing up my recently eaten macaroni and cheese while writing about these turds but I shall do my best. I know that I shouldn’t care and I have no room to talk because I have tattoos, beautiful sexy tattoos, but I do care. I care about this more than I care about my own family.

I realize people are free to do whatever they want with their bodies but come on, really? Does this look good in any way? And for the love of all things holy (or should I say holey – zing) look at the mess these jerks are left with when they remove their piercings. Awww, poor Brad has to walk around with fucking EAR VAGINAS for the rest of his life. Way to go Brad!

Unfortunately, while researching this subject I came across a piercing photo that caused me to involuntarily scratch my own eyes out. I ripped my eyeballs right out of the sockets and threw them into a nearby aquarium. Eventually I gained the courage to put my bloody eyes back into my face and continue on. This might be the most fucking ridiculous piercing of all time. I mean it took me like 5 minutes to even understand what the fuck I was looking at. Then I had to spend a few minutes contorting my mouth to see if this was even possible. Guess what, it’s possible if you are a douchebag. Click the photo if you feel like ruining the rest of your week.

I am so much better than everyone.

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11 comments so far

11 comments to “People with giant ear tube piercings!”

  1. Dr. Greg Burnson 12 Sep 2008 at 10:34 am

    Another face hole might come in handy. For a douchebag! Timberrrrrrrrrnn!!

  2. You Just Made My List!on 12 Sep 2008 at 10:39 am

    I suppose a face hole would be fun to puke through.

  3. deadlytoqueon 12 Sep 2008 at 12:43 pm

    I was sitting next to a guy with smallish (pinky-finger-sized) ear-hoops at a wedding once, and he kept picking food off of his plate to see if it would fit. A grap got stuck halfway and all I could think was “I hope that pops and the acid stings your stupid ear holes. I know that the skin is all healed over, but that would still be deserved.”

    People who do this must just assume that they will either become professional artists or else die before they get old. Can you image how hard it’s going to be to maintain those fuckers when the skin starts to lose its elasticity? They’re going to have to go to a lower gauge ever other day. And for what? For the opportunity to look like idiots? Weeee!

    One of the sagest pieces of advice my mother ever gave me was “never hire anyone with a tattoo on their face.” when I pass that message on to my offspring, it will include “or an extra hole in their head.”

    But I am wracked by nagging doubt: am I being to hard on these people? Sure they are doing something that I personally disagree with, something that causes my stomach to turn, but it doesn’t actually harm anyone, and it makes them feel good (I guess). So, isn’t that a net good, then?

  4. You Just Made My List!on 12 Sep 2008 at 1:24 pm

    deadlytoque, I know exactly what you are saying about these people and their ear holes not doing any real harm, in fact I’m sure I would have more in common with most giant ear hole people than I would with most frat boys. BUT I am just a jerk when it comes to certain things and these giant ear people upset me and give me nightmares. They make me cry when I see them at the post office or free clinic. I have to choke down barf when I see them walking their ferrets.

    Ultimately you are right, I should not care but when you are perfect like me it is easy to judge others.


  5. You Just Made My List!on 12 Sep 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Oh, one other thing… I think the reason I am turned off by extreme piercings is because I don’t like people who try too hard to be “unique.” At some point you just make a joke of yourself.

    I’m a jerk.

  6. Jayon 12 Sep 2008 at 8:30 pm

    I’m barfing as I’m typing. That second mouth hole redefines the word “wrong”.

  7. nobodyzbiznezzon 08 Oct 2008 at 8:54 pm

    #1-huge ear hole piercings suck and #2- referring to the mouth pic why in the fuck would someone do that shit to themself? Is that person fucking stupid? How do they drink, through a STRAW all of the time? Holy hell, wtf? On the flip side it would propably make a good Whopper shoot, though
    P.S. I do think that TATTOOS ARE COOL, though

  8. Daeganon 20 Jun 2010 at 5:00 pm

    not noticable compared to the rest

  9. HollyWoodon 08 Mar 2012 at 4:39 pm

    This blows my mind. It is one thing to have an opinion, everyone does, but perhaps you should know what it is youre complaining about and do it correctly. The picture you have posted of the guy who has the extremely large labret hole is 100% photo shopped, not real. No one who has any extreme body modification such as large lobes [over an inch] do it to be unique, stand, etc. ear stretching is a very timely thing, it took myself 4years to get mine just to an inch. the up keep it extensive also. I agree that some people make fools of them selves and think that they are being “hip” but on the other side there are people who take great pride in their body and what they can do with it. Its a culture, welcome to the present.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 08 Mar 2012 at 4:48 pm

    “the up keep it extensive also” – Forget the typo, this is a hilarious quote. Sorry I can’t come over tonight, I have a tremendous amount of upkeep to do on my ear holes.

  11. Rayneon 07 Nov 2012 at 1:22 am

    I’m a girl who has plugs in my ears. I also happen to have a mohawk. I have my lip, nose, and eyebrow pierced, and tattoos, and, you know what? I feel good about myself. I wanted to do it because I actually like the way it looks on me. And on some other people. I agree, the gauged labret looks ridiculous, as do many other extreme things, but don’t judge all the freak kids in the same category. If you don’t like someone’s ears (or looks in general), and won’t try to speak with them because of it, then maybe you should evaluate just how shallow a person you might be.