Oct 01 2010

Flirtexting!

Published by at 3:45 am under I Don't Get It,Jerks,Why?!?

flitexting book flirt texting Olivia and Deb authors

Take a nice long look at our future. We are fucking doomed.

Haven’t bought your copy of “Flirtexting,” the exciting new guide to flirting via text messages yet? Oh man are you dumb! No wonder you aren’t married yet you stupid piece of shit, you are texting all wrong!

For example, when a guy texts you at 3 am saying “hhey gurl wha yo u doingf wanna blowjon me” how would you know to respond with “I guess so, might as well.” Guess what? You just FLIRTEXTED! You are on your way to a rich and fulfilling life.

These two geniuses actually found a secret formula to make men do what they want… via text. I know, can you believe women finally know the secret? Up until now, getting a man to do what you want was virtually impossible.

And such a noble pursuit, controlling men with your cell phone. Their parents must be so proud.

Doomed.

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7 comments so far

7 comments to “Flirtexting!”

  1. Jeffon 01 Oct 2010 at 4:21 am

    I’m quite impressed. They’ve taken absolutely nothing, taken it on the daytime TV trail, and made good money.

    Listy, take note. Forget this site and do a book.

  2. The Magic Man With the Magic Stickon 01 Oct 2010 at 7:19 am

    I say it is perfect time to depopulate our mother earth from this shit smears. Juggalos will follow.

  3. Jeromeon 01 Oct 2010 at 7:56 am

    I got half way through that video before I had a seizure. Come to think of it, I hope I never have a seizure while flirtexting. The person on the other end would probably never notice.

  4. Jonathanon 01 Oct 2010 at 4:27 pm

    Because I’m a moron I watched about three seconds of that video, and I thought the girls said “I’m Debra Goldstein and I’m Olivia Manischevitz” (as in the fine line of kosher products). I thought, “Holy fuck, Jewish girls have found another way to whine, complain and bitch about all the shit they don’t have and want their whipped goyfriends to buy for them.” Then I looked it up (again, because I’m a moron) and it’s actually Olivia Baniuszewicz. Which is still kind of Jewish.

    Jewishness aside, this is probably the dumbest fucking thing ever. If a girl takes this book to the register at any bookstore in America, the counter jockey should immediately bludgeon them to death with Wuthering Heights.

    Just think: Trees died to print this travesty of a “book.”

    I weep for the future.

  5. kiddaon 02 Oct 2010 at 7:05 pm

    I only managed to get through 30 secs of this video before turning it off. Only reason I came back to this page was because I wanted to check something on youtube and I’m tipsy so stuck “you” in the internets bar and hit enter expecting to be taken there. Sober me would have remembered I read this site more than youtube and known to add “t” before hitting enter but the reason for this ramble is to ask the question….How many listy readers has this happened to?

    Feel free to ignore this, I have no idea what I was going on to youtube for after dilAgently correcting spelling mistakes

  6. Sariaon 08 Nov 2010 at 11:19 pm

    is it sad that i visited thier website at the end of that video?

  7. You Just Made My List!on 08 Nov 2010 at 11:22 pm

    It is.