Dec 21 2010

Men who wear choker necklaces!

Published by at 3:26 am under Jerks,Why?!?

choker necklace for men

If you are one of the tragic gentlemen who choose this horrifying fashion accessory but do not know what vibe you are giving off, consider this… while searching for photos of men wearing choker necklaces I was only able to find photos of shirtless man-boys. I shouldn’t have to say anything else, but I will.

Lest ye think I am calling you and your little leather noodle gay, think again, I am calling you douchey. Even the most fabulous gay cage dancer could not pull this look off.

It is curious that every photo I found to illustrate my point ended up being so homoerotic because I normally associate these chokers with suburban IT guys who suffer from premature balding. They troubleshoot your Microsoft Office issues by day and play in Puddle of Mudd cover bands by night. They drink Miller Vortex and they have strong opinions about Battlestar Galactica.

Either that or they are super gay, I can’t tell the difference anymore.

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23 comments so far

23 comments to “Men who wear choker necklaces!”

  1. Amy Louiseon 21 Dec 2010 at 4:29 am

    oooh this sends shivers… my absolute WORST.

  2. calebon 21 Dec 2010 at 10:42 am

    if we exterminated every guy who wears chokers and/or pooka shells, the whole hair gel and board short industry would collapse. not to mention the Corona and Captain Morgan companies…

    the world would be a better place.

  3. kenon 21 Dec 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Don’t forget the rohypnol and tanning salon communities…

  4. saraon 21 Dec 2010 at 1:27 pm

    caleb- don’t forget ultimate frisbee….oh wait DO forget ultimate frisbee. forget it ever happened

  5. Diss Contenton 21 Dec 2010 at 3:57 pm

    I referenced my “Chuck Norris Catalog of Whoop Ass and Haberdashery” for men’s choker necklaces.

    The very act of thumbing to that page angered the catalog and made it deliver a roundhouse kick to my groin for showing any interest in such an accessory.

    Thank you catalog, for preventing what would have been the first step, on an endless slippery slope to complete Douchebaggerism.

  6. Pigdoreon 21 Dec 2010 at 7:15 pm

    Oh and I suppose you don’t wear buttplugs anymore either.

  7. Rachelon 22 Dec 2010 at 9:18 am

    top left looks like he’s on his way to becoming *Carrot Top*

  8. Jackieon 22 Dec 2010 at 10:02 am

    Rachel, top left is definitely headed into Carrot Top territory:

    Caleb, exterminate them all except blue background bottom left. I will rehabilitate him.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 23 Dec 2010 at 8:01 am

    Carrot top is terrifying.

  10. Terryon 06 Jun 2011 at 5:59 pm

    I happen to think a choker looks damn hot on the right guy. You are entitled to your opinion but it is hardly universal. Any guy who criticizes the guys pictured above is probably secretly wishing he could look half that good with his shirt off.

  11. You Just Made My List!on 06 Jun 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Yep, that’s it.

  12. WILDCATon 14 Jun 2011 at 3:51 am

    I agree with Terry, the right choker on the right guy looks hot! and every guy need a touch of leather!
    Unless both you and the choker wearing guy are gay ( I am assuming you are a guy) why would a guy care what you think of him and his necklace?

    I can assure you the choker wearing guys in my life have been far from gay.. but gay guys look cute in chokers too!

  13. You Just Made My List!on 14 Jun 2011 at 7:28 am

    I just checked every history book ever written and there is no record of any choker ever being “the right choker.” I’m sorry, I tried to find an example but it simply does not exist.

  14. Matton 02 Jul 2011 at 12:50 pm

    I think you just haven’t seen enough chokers. I present THIS as proof-positive that chokers don’t have to be gayer than a three dollar bill.

    COME ON!

  15. You Just Made My List!on 02 Jul 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Matt – I see your point. The only thing that could make THAT gay is a big mustache. Wait.

  16. corpon 28 Jul 2011 at 1:24 am

    I see this all the time and it infuriates me. Just…Just…Fucking Douchebags

  17. darrell lucason 12 Jan 2012 at 3:39 am

    To wildcat…

    “I can assure you the choker wearing guys in my life have been far from gay..”

    Why arent they in your life anymore? Switched to dick.

  18. John Darkon 16 Jan 2012 at 4:11 am

    So yea…
    dint read all the comments but…
    really havin a big ragequit on chokers? lol

    dont see what the big deal is,
    i wear a choker, if you dont like it,
    say soemthing to my face,
    course if i dont like wat u say,
    might end up punchin u in the face

  19. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jan 2012 at 11:44 am

    John – I’d love to say something to your face but I have no idea what language you are speaking. I think it’s time to loosen your sexy choker, it’s making you talk like a fucking idiot.

  20. Lukeon 16 Jul 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Omg. I wear a choker. But it’s not like these small leather (gay) chokers. I wear this

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  22. billon 26 Mar 2013 at 6:42 pm

    i’m sorry you feel that way towards how other people look. I bet it sucks living a life like that. with all the other things that need to be focused on in life, how someone looks would be the last thing on my mind, especially a guy! it’s my suguestion that you stop looking so much at guys and focus on your own problems of life and mabey you can overcome this trivial thing of other guys wearing chokers

  23. You Just Made My List!on 26 Mar 2013 at 6:48 pm

    Gee whiz Bill, what’s wrong your choker too tight? You sure are obsessed with guys.