Feb 09 2011

This blog sucks! Why is it never updated anymore? Listy sucks! Listy lives in his mom’s basement!

Published by at 9:17 pm under I Don't Get It,Jerks

america rules

I’m sure all you world wide web “surfers” have been asking yourself where the gosh heck I have been. First of all, watch your language. Secondly, there is no second part, I’ve just been blowing it off.

Since June 30th, 2008 I have written pretty much 5 days a week for a total of 633 posts. There have been 527,068 visitors to youjustmademylist and in the 10,936 comments left on this site so far, I have been accused of living in my mom’s basement approximately 800 times. I have spoken with, and completely blown off (for some dumb reason), a reputable literary agent who wanted to see some treatments for a book and I will most likely be murdered by a Juggalo within the next 3-4 months (if they weren’t too fucking lazy to get their fat piece of shit asses off the couch).

So what does all that mean? It probably means I’m awesome but I’m not sure.

Am I quitting this blog? I don’t know. I don’t think so but to be honest, it’s hard to find the time lately. I’m so fucking talented at my job that I’ve been working 12-14 hour days. Plus, I’m moving to Hawaii at the end of the summer (my mom is moving her basement there, I have no choice) and it is not a simple move. It basically involves me completely dismantling my life and selling almost everything I own.

Blah blah blah, this is starting to sound like a “real” blog where people share their feelings. Sorry.

SO… I think I will be back very soon but I’m not entirely sure anyone cares. I was sure the world would end when I stopped writing but, much to my disappointment, Guy Fieri and Creed still have a planet to walk around on.

Listy (The most awesome person in the world)

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37 comments so far

37 comments to “This blog sucks! Why is it never updated anymore? Listy sucks! Listy lives in his mom’s basement!”

  1. bitter to the very endon 09 Feb 2011 at 10:08 pm

    Listy, if you abandon this blog i will lose any hope i may have ever had in anything. That may be a lot of pressure, but i don’t care. If you don’t want people to rely on this shit then you shouldn’t be as awesome as you know you are. Hawaii. You know who lives in Hawaii? People who want to live carefree and enjoy life to its fullest and be all peaceful and serene and shit. You’re gonna hate it. You’re going to have so much new shit to bitch about, you’re gonna need this blog like a surfer needs to ride a gnarly wave, dude. Don’t leave. I mean, fine, move. Not like I felt better you were somewhere in this city with me anyway. But Please. Don’t end this blog. Jesus i hate begging. Look what you’ve reduced me to. You love it, you sick jerk.

  2. Mon 09 Feb 2011 at 10:46 pm

    You sound burnt out. I hope you take care of work/moving and come back to us soon. Surely Hawaiian life will bring on a whole onslaught of List items…

  3. Ericaon 09 Feb 2011 at 11:37 pm

    Listy…I care! Since finding your blog last year, I have been an almost daily reader. I have more work related stress than is imaginable but you offer a glimmer of happiness in my day that I look forward to. It makes a difference to me and my life and for that I am grateful. I am trying to think of something funny or clever to say here but cant think of anything else but thanks and for those of us relatively “sane” folks who read/respond, you are awesome!!! (god if pigshit responds to this I am going to become a Juggalo just so I can murder his ass)

  4. Lilyon 10 Feb 2011 at 7:02 am

    It’s okay, the trashy community that resides in Hawaii will give you plenty of new things to blog about. You know how much we all hate rednecks? Get ready for a new breed of rednecks, TROPICAL rednecks. They’re much worse.

  5. Quaseon 10 Feb 2011 at 8:27 am

    Come on Listy, you can do it man… Take some time off to relax, then get the f** back to work…

  6. Lawrenceon 10 Feb 2011 at 8:56 am

    If you leave, I’m going to start reading Guy Fieri’s blog. Blood will be on YOUR hands!

  7. Andraon 10 Feb 2011 at 10:37 am

    Just last night I was bitching to my husband that you hadn’t updated the blog since February 2nd, and he suggested something horrible happened to you and perhaps you would never return. I am glad you are still alive and I hope you don’t quit blogging for good, reading your completely correct opinions always makes my day.

  8. Eyjafjallajökullon 10 Feb 2011 at 10:48 am

    You’ll be Hawaii’s second most awesome personality after Magnum P.i.

    ps. How can anyone call that singing, it sounds more like Chad Kroeger clearing his throat.

  9. PoodlesRuleon 10 Feb 2011 at 11:01 am

    we love you!

  10. saraon 10 Feb 2011 at 12:45 pm

    making fun of Tropical Rednecks sounds awesome!

    When I heard about the snow melting in New York and they were finding dead people in burried cars, I admit it crossed my mind that this might also occur in Chicago. But it’s good to know your alive

    “Plus, I’m moving to Hawaii at the end of the summer (my mom is moving her basement there, I have no choice) ”
    That was a week’s worth of laughs right there

  11. Jordonon 10 Feb 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Listy, clearly you won’t actually be leaving us; I’m pretty sure you’re bluffing. If I am wrong though, I am fully ready and willing to fill the void with my own list. When I read the rant on the Olympics I realized that we must be long lost bros or something. And dude, don’t give up Chicago for Hawaii. Hawaii is like Mexico with ten times the cost of living. I realize it’s cold, and this recent cold has been serious bullshit but Hawaii?! Do you realize how many shitty animals and bugs and spiders that you have to deal with down there? It is terrible and I thank god for this bone chilling cold to keep those shit spiders and scorpions from comming up here and crawling in my shoes.

  12. Kathyon 10 Feb 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Listy, if you figure out how to get your mojo back, please tell me where to find it. I lost mine about 6 months ago, and it has eluded me ever since.

  13. Dustinon 11 Feb 2011 at 1:14 am

    LISTY WHAT THE FUCK. You have your finger on the pulse of the mentally handicapped brain of America, and you nail it every time. You should just change up how often you write – once a week, once a month. But don’t just go away entirely, you dumb shit.



  14. Amy Louiseon 11 Feb 2011 at 2:26 am

    i care.

  15. Edon 11 Feb 2011 at 5:04 am

    The once a month posts are killing the site.
    You might as well end it at that rate.
    I would like it to continue but…
    There is nothing worse than clicking on after a week – especially one where there are 100s of happenings in the news to skewer – and finding the same post at the top you saw a month ago. You’re killing us!
    It is becoming like watching your favorite athlete stay too long in his sport – unable to hit a fast ball or curve ball any longer. You want them to do well but they just don’t have it and won’t walk away while we still have good memories. (Hey, didn’t bad sports metaphors make the list once?)
    We need you, but you aren’t there as much as we would like. Busy at work? I thought this WAS your job?
    I say you quit that job that is taking you away from us. Let me talk with your boss.

  16. Shit liston 11 Feb 2011 at 10:50 am

    I work in a pain management office..these patients are fucking crazy! Your blog is the only thing that gets the office staff through the day. We are using the archives to get through the days that you do not blog. DONT YOU DARE STOP THIS BLOG. WE FUCKING CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Bulletxtheoryon 11 Feb 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Listy, I care immensly about you and your opinions. A life without your rantings is surely not one worth living. You are loved by many.

  18. JulieJulieJulieon 11 Feb 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Aw, Listy, we all like you, hell I’d even go as far to say that some of us out there LOVE you, in a non-sexual, non-stalkerish kind of way of course.

    Your last post brought back sweet memories of this past fall after I worked 47 days in a row — and I work with the public so you can imagine how much fun that was.

    Take a break from writing, buy a sun lamp until you get your ass to Hawaii, and tell those bosses of yours how awesome you are and that you want a monster raise.

    Oh and self-medicate — I recommend Mt. Gay Extra Old. The shit’s expensive, but oh so very good.

  19. Fuckeron 11 Feb 2011 at 5:44 pm

    My day won’t be the same if I don’t have this site anymore. I love your list!!!

  20. daleon 11 Feb 2011 at 7:29 pm

    Quit please.

  21. Nikkion 11 Feb 2011 at 9:04 pm

    World – Listy = Hell.

    Do you want to condemn the world to hell?

  22. Amanda Cateon 12 Feb 2011 at 4:19 am

    Quit bitchin’ and just keep bitchin’, Listy. We all know you can do it.

    Also, didn’t you and your mom’s basement move not too long ago? Right before some jerk(s) decided to take almost everything you owned? Moving sucks a whole lot.

  23. Melissaon 12 Feb 2011 at 9:34 am

    I can pretty much say I love you, in a sexual and stalkerish way…just to be clear. Take some time off Listy. Take all the time you need. We like-minded individuals NEED you. I would rather have the occasional random post than nothing at all. Like other people have mentioned, when you get to Hawaii, you’ll have an entirely new world to make fun of. Papaya alone is worth at least a few dozen entries…and don’t get me started on hanging loose, gecko t-shirts, and howlies. Can I also mention that “North Shore” is one of the best movies of all time? You need to make sure you watch it a few times before you move, because that is EXACTLY what Hawaii will be like.

  24. Sarah in minneapolis; a tributeon 12 Feb 2011 at 10:04 am

    Well what we REALLY want from you is several hilarious daily posts and for you to quit pretending you have some sort of “personal life” but apparently that’s not happening. Don’t give up the blog, you give people frustrated with the morons surrounding them solace in your rants, it would be cruel to end it. Take two aspirin and call us in the morning?

  25. ffafon 12 Feb 2011 at 4:05 pm


  26. Tommyon 13 Feb 2011 at 3:07 am

    fuck you listy, i knew you were a quitter

  27. You Just Made My List!on 13 Feb 2011 at 1:24 pm

    OK, I’ve decided to come back and be awesome again. I just needed a break. I’m going to shoot for 5 days a week but it might be a little less. (starting Tuesday)

    SHUT UP!

  28. Edon 13 Feb 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Why put off ’til Tuesday what you could easily get done today, you lazy sack?
    I say you take a break, let the stuff build up, then unload on us all!
    Can’t wait.

  29. Beeon 13 Feb 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Boo you whore.

  30. Beeon 13 Feb 2011 at 8:17 pm

    oh I mean yay you whore! See you Tues

  31. Deathon 14 Feb 2011 at 3:14 pm

    Listy, I totally understand, since you’ve been neglecting, us, your loyal readers, I too have been working 12 hour days and haven’t really had the time to read this blog.

    It’s worked out great…for now. However it won’t last, I’ll start to get the itches, bugs under my skin…the scratch marks will resemble “YJMML”…for now I’ll just keep taking my medication, with the hope that when I return next that I see more douches being called out for what they are.

  32. Joeon 14 Feb 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Listy, you motherfucker. You got me through pneumonia and whooping cough last December. I read your ENTIRE blog from my sickbed. My sheets are still stained from the blood I coughed up laughing. What happens if I get sick again? How will I pass my time? Worrying about whether they’ll hold my job for me as I spew phlegm all over my monitor? And don’t get me started on all the meds I’m on for depression and anxiety. You can’t retire. Love, Joe.

  33. heatheron 14 Feb 2011 at 11:32 pm

    If you stop writing i’ll kill myself and others! And don’t you dare think im not crazy enough to do it! Listy, don’t make me do this! NOT FUCKING AROUND HERE.
    So please, keep up the good work on here. You make me laugh.

  34. JaimeLynnon 15 Feb 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Please don’t leave us… Even if it’s only a few times a week, it gives the rest of us hope that there are others out there with common sense!!!

  35. Spicypupon 15 Feb 2011 at 11:16 pm

    Take care of yourself and do what you can — you have given us a lot of laughs. I would rather get a post every so often then never again.

  36. SanFranon 16 Feb 2011 at 2:05 am

    Things are really circling the fucking drain around here – and all this time, I thought it was because I was too busy to read and comment regularly – but in reality, it’s Listy who’s too busy to do his job. That’s right – JOB.

    YJMML is your JOB Listy – we pay for this, in ways you’ll never know, and this is how you treat us?

    I can respect that.

    Let’s grab a beer on your way through California enroute to Hawaii.

  37. Canaduckon 16 Feb 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Take a break if you need to, Listy. 🙁 I love this site but you don’t owe any of us anything.