You just made my list!

Enough already.

Hey hand-made crafting hipster nerds, let’s move on to the next fad, shall we? If I see one more cutesy retro squirrel I am going to drop my pants, pull out my wang and fuck it. I don’t care what it is, it’s getting fucked. Letterpress card… fucked! Pillow… fucked! T-shirt (on a hanger or being worn)… fucked! Tattoo on your face… FUCKED!

Have you ever gone to a Renegade Craft Fair? Just try and find something without a whimsical cute thing on it. What is this desire to live life as a 6-year-old? Yeah, it was fun being a kid but I’ve moved on to more worthwhile things and I enjoy doing adult things like driving a car and putting breasts in my hands. Do you realize I could go buy a chainsaw RIGHT NOW if I felt like it? That’s what being a grown up is all about, boobs and chainsaws.

PUT A BIRD ON IT!

Just wrapping up another 15 hour work day! Ahhhh life, you are a constant joy. The end result is me neglecting my duties as world’s best blogger.

Here’s a cat with its head in a bag. Shut up.

The subject of the oil spill and the incredible greed at BP is simply too depressing to even think about, so instead I give you ten clips of deer licking other animals.

Boycott BP and BP brands:
Castrol, Arco, Aral, am/pm, Amoco, Wild Bean Cafe and, Safeway gas.

Now let the licking begin!

Some people really get their red, white and blue panties in a bunch when you dare question their new hero, whom they just heard of for the first time a week ago, so let’s go into the weekend with a rare subject we can all agree on – PUPPIES ARE FUCKING CUTE! Everyone hold hands and stop being such a bunch of pussies!